Caffeinated Clint
Absolutely silly stuff….. like waiting for an “Indy 4” start date
Ten Film-ish things I’m looking forward to in 2007. If you’ve a penchant for intelligent sprawl, move on please. This has nothing to do with the best movies for the year, the worst movies for the year, the best DVD releases of the year, nor is it a chance to play the world-renowned Angie Jolie ‘guess how many we adopt?’ game. This is simply Batgirl’s ex-boyfriend listing some of the things he’s looking forward to out about 2007…. And they’ve all got something to do with films.
Looking forward to….
1. Staying Awake through ‘Pirates of the Caribbean : At Worlds End’ – I’m looking forward to seeing whether I can keep my eyes open without the aid of a large latte, a couple of clothesline pegs and the unrealistic hope that Keira takes her top off by films end, this time. Doubtful. The franchise is quickly turning into the new “Matrix” trilogy – all pizzle, no sizzle. Maybe the old bastard from The Rolling Stones will add something to this one? Or maybe Geoffrey Rush will perk up proceedings? Or maybe the studio will finally announce that Joel Silver was an unofficial producer on the two back-to-back sequels?
2. Die Hard-ing – Spotting the references to the sequels that came before it in the next ‘Die Hard’ flick. I’m guessing there will only be a couple… since most of these pics are merely retooled specs. Also hoping Len Wiseman surprises us and throws in a couple of cameos – I mean, can William Atherton be seriously that busy? Speaking of action heroes…. I’m really keen to see whether Sly Stallone can make something out of the success he’s had with “Rocky Balboa” without falling into that cinematic black hole of donkey dust again.
3.Seagal Sequel Sway – The real testament to seeing how much influence the web has is whether or not this “Under Siege 3” spec – recently mentioned at Aint it Cool News – gets made. At the moment, Warner Bros has no plans to make it, but with the favourable reaction to the script and everyone’s claim that ‘this could be save Seagal’, might the webbies change their mind? Maybe, it’s a pretty good script. Pity the Browncoats weren’t fans of Steven Seagal.
4.The Holmes situation – Looking forward to seeing how long the emails keep pouring in about Katie Holmes not being part of the “Batman” sequel. I’m thinking it’ll die down about a day before “The Dark Knight” opens – or the Office of L.Ron Hubbard asks his disciples to lay off the spamming, now. “No more can be done, my children”- or when her replacement is announced.
5. The Start Date – Looking forward to seeing whether “Indiana Jones 4” actually does go into production this year. Chances are, Spielberg will come out at the last minute and say they’re “not happy with the script, so we’re going to wait till Harrison’s 98 – and Sean Connery would be 101, right? – we think there’s much more opportunity for a good story, then”. What’s so frickin’ hard? Big Boulder. Roll. Run. Scream. Karen Allen’s tearing her fuckin’ hair out.
6. Cinema Box-Office Receipts – Looking forward to seeing whether cinema attendance climbs…. DVD is such a hot medium right now, that it’s getting very worrying for the old theatres. Here’s an idea: Decrease the price of admission. Shit, I know, it’s risky… but it may just work. It costs a family near forty bucks to see a movie these days… no wonder they’re waiting for the bloody DVD. Makes sense to me.
7. Terminator V2 – Looking forward to seeing who they cast as the new ‘Terminator’ in the forthcoming, “Terminator 4”. Brian Bosworth’s no doubt already got his agent onto it. AB king is sharpening his tools.
At the same time, also keen to see who George Miller decides to play the new ‘Mad Max’.
8. Those Cut Bits – Looking forward to actually seeing those deleted scenes from “Twin Peaks : Fire Walk With Me”, if the studio finally agrees to let David Lynch use them for a special edition DVD. Such talk has been around for years though, so not getting my hopes up. Whatever the case, ‘Season 2’ of the series is supposed – lets wait until it actually happens – to be getting a release.
9. The QW’s – That side-splitting end of year list over at efilmcritic.com. The Quote Whore of The Year Awards. I haven’t laughed so hard since watching “Snakes on a Plane” go belly-up. Campaigning has already begun!
10. Checking out the Hair! – Looking forward to seeing whether Nicolas Cage’s hair-plugs are clearly visible in “Ghost Rider” (as they were at Comic Con – fuckin’ nightmares for weeks) – it’ll give us something to do; look for them, when the movie dips, hey? (and from what I hear, it most certainly dips). Play the same game with John Travolta – in any of his films – it’s kinda entertaining
