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My Nose is growing with excitement

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You’d think Hollywood would have caught onto the fact that no one’s exactly got a Woody to see a new “Pinocchio” movie right now. Roberto Bengini’s highly anticipated “Pinocchio” came and went without barely a whimper, and frankly, most of us are still getting over the calamitous recollection of Jonathan Taylor Thomas in another manifestation of the tale, released a couple of years before. Do we need another take on the tale?

According to a recent issue of Newsweek – run by Aint it Cool – Disney are considering doing a remake of “Pinocchio”, only this time, in CGI.

Aint it Cool reports :

Shot for shot CG Remake of PINNOCHIO by Disney?

Hey folks, Harry here… Ya know… sometimes I swear my conversations are bugged. The other day after watching FINDING NEMO with my Pops, but before I started taping my show for SKY MOVIE NEWS, on the drive home we were talking about how brilliant FINDING NEMO was, and how it really isn’t the CG, but the storytelling that was so damn fantastic. We were complaining about what a shame it was that Walt Disney can’t do that anymore, that for whatever reason… (READ – Corporate Micro-Management of an Artistic Medium) …their creativity seems fairly stifled. This was when Father Geek mentioned the nightmare that was that lame frickin’ FREAKY FRIDAY trailer… citing it as evidence of what Disney has become.

Then I stated, yeah… The success of FINDING NEMO and these Pixar films are sending the wrong message to Disney. They honestly believe it is the CG that is attractive and not the difference in the process by which Pixar makes their films, which puts story and creativity and communication at a high point. Then I told Dad… swear to God… "10 to 1 — Eisner will probably begin doing shot for shot remakes of Disney Classics in CG calling it ‘envisioning the classics for a new generation’" At this point, Father Geek said, "Never suggest that on the site, those idiots would do that in a heart beat." To which I said, "And they’d start with PINNOCHIO!"
I had sworn an oath to my father, I wouldn’t broach the subject… then tonight, Sir Etch-A-Sketch called me up and told me:

"But imagine re-creating "Pinocchio" from scratch, ala Van Sant’s PSYCHO (shot for shot remake) but in CGI, "for a new generation to enjoy". Apparently a new generation that isn’t sophisticated enough to enjoy the original for the masterpiece of artwork that it is…"

Apparently, Eisner has started suggesting this, very quietly, but the rumor is, this is just the tip of the iceberg. You see, with Pixar likely moving on, and them emerging as a viable THREAT to Disney Corporation as the center of Quality Family Animation… well… We’ve joked about George Lucas remaking the original Star Wars Trilogy with All CG in 10 years, but… god… Can you imagine? I can see them doing this and then… the classics will never be reissued in cinemas for future generations of parents and kids to enjoy in theaters like their parents and their parents and their parents and their parents before them. Sigh… Sir Etch-A-Sketch is looking for more details… If you work in the Mouse House and have heard anything about this… Drop me a line… I’m curious to hear how far this has gotten… Is it just in discussions, or have those creatively stunted executives fully set it in motion?

Hey here’s an idea, get the loony Pinocchio out of “Shrek” and give him his full-length movie! ‘That’ I might see.

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About Caffeinated Clint

The writer/publicist/producer who wears the editor hat on Moviehole. Favorite films include "Say Anything...", "The Hunt for Red October", "Jerry Maguire", "Almost Famous", "Die Hard", "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo", "Young Guns", "American Psycho", "Back to the Future" and the "Star Wars" series.
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