“Trust me John, if someone wanted to use a cinema excursion to get off: they’d either roll their Levi’s off in the car-park or merely take their ten bucks, hand it to the sleazy guy behind the counter, and with bucket-in-hand, voyage into the auditorium of no-holds-barred porn” – Clint Morris
Tracey Ullman, Selma Blair, Johnny Knoxville, Chris Isaak, Suzanne Shepherd
Trust me John, if someone wanted to use a cinema excursion to get off: they’d either roll their Levi’s off in the car-park or merely take their ten bucks, hand it to the sleazy guy behind the counter, and with bucket-in-hand, voyage into the auditorium of no-holds-barred porn.
“A Dirty Shame” is, well, a Dirty Shame. Essentially just a mission to see how many sexual references, tawdry sight-gags and terms of innuendo one can fit into 88 minutes –it’s not only as silly as a cordial-induced carnival goer, it’s as boring as batshit.
Granted, you’ve got to be a fan of the off-the-wall stylings of John Waters (“Pink Flamingos”, “Hairsprsay”) to appreciate his films but in this case, even those long-time admirers of the weird and wonderful will be gazing at their watches. He’s usually, at least, amusing – this dreary episode makes his cameo in “Seed of Chucky” look like comedy gold.
Ullman’s knocked insensible in a road accident. Over-sexed Ray Ray (Johnny Knoxville) comes over to help – and announces that she’s the 12 apostle in his little team of sex-addicts. Suddenly, her sexual urges are awakened as she gets about town, with her wacky new pals, looking to rub her leg up anything that holds still long enough.
This is largely a waste of talent – Ullman, Knoxville, Blair (with a gigantic pair of fake hooters – funny for a second), and Isaak – who finally did a ‘Bad, Bad, Thing’. But worst of all, it’s disappointing to see what could’ve been a very funny movie – got to admit; it’s definitely an original idea! – turn into the cinematic equivalent of the thanksgiving bird. Turkey – with extra stuffing.
Reviewer : Clint Morris
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Against the Current - the band, not adventures in dangerous swimming 101
Zedd - If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? (Well, answer my question!)
Arrow (Okay, Felicity from Arrow!)
Chrissy Costanza (cat eyes and buttery lyrics!)
Girls (TV) (Okay, Allison Williams!)
Movies - especially when they play in the dark.
Twin Peaks (TV)
Friends (TV) (It had me at "No way are you cool enough to pull Clint"; damn straight, Chandler!)
Traveling - preferably where water is, so I can splash someone!
Star Wars trilogy - no, the other one, fella!
Alex G - far more talented than her younger brother Alex H
Cameron Crowe movies - Say Anything..., Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous
The sign 'Free Wi-Fi'.
Reenacting dance/song scenes from "Grease" with my little girl (hey! Wait till you see my 'Summer Lovin'! - don't judge)
Die Hard - 40 stories of Sheer Adventure!
Alex Goot & Friends (his enemies aren't half as talented!)
Cooking up a nice dish and sitting in the entertainment area, on a cool night, basking in it's greatness.
Inflatable kids pools full of Vodka Lime Crush.
Acidic Email from angry, over passionate teenagers after I trash something "Twilight"-related on the site. Sparkle elsewhere.
My baby girl's big, caring heart.