The Weeksly Late Edition – 23/09/05


Welcome back for yet another sample of all the tasty dishes on offer both here in the land down under, and around the world. Yup, you’ve already clicked on through, no point in trying to back away now…..ummm…. that back button doesn’t work y’know? Anyway lots of good stuff happening on the little screen this week, and some not so good. It’s terrifying! It’s laugh-out loud funny! It’s romantic at heart! It’s something you just can’t deny!:

My Television Is Trying To Kill Me

Alright sports fans, just a few hours ago, the latest episode of "Survivor: Guatemala" went to air, and in perhaps one of the most inventive challenges yet seen in 11 seasons, the 17 remaining castaways played grab-ass in a big pile ‘o mud for an old fashioned game of tug-of-war, which proved to be stirring stuff for even the most casual of viewers. Even still, the game continues, albeit minus pretty young thing, Morgan McDevitt.
McDevitt, a Magician’s Assistant from Decatur, Illinois, after being ousted in a vote of 8-1, had this to say in her parting comments: “Well, I didn’t see that coming”. Jeff Probst was heard to say, “No shit, Sherlock”.

The online community shit me some times. Not you guys of course, you’re all terrific… *cough*. I’m talking about the jerk-asses who sign up in the hundreds of thousands to save the brilliant "Arrested Development", and then don’t tune in to watch it. That’s right, all the lovin’ that everyone puts out there for it, and it still gets low ratings. Were you washing your hair? Rearranging your sock drawer? Watching “How I Met Your Mother”? It doesn’t matter what you were doing! You must, tune in next Monday night at 8/7c to watch it, and then stick around for "Kitchen Confidential", which I’ll go on record right now as saying it is the best and funniest new series of the fall season, unlike the aforementioned “Mother” which is….. not very good. Please! If only to garner my highly sought after respect, watch it!

This week was the mother of all weeks for the TV industry, the Emmy Awards, with the handing out of pretty gold statues to lots and lots of our favorite (and not so favorite) TV stars. Of course, the big winners were “Yes, Dear”, “Coupling”, “Rob & Amber Get Married”, and in a surprising move to most people who tuned in, “Sanford & Son” came from nowhere to win ‘Best Comedy’. Given I’m onto about my fourth pint of ‘Guiness’ for this evening, my recollection of the night’s events may not be the best, but I’m pretty confident that’s how it went. As my memory grows a little clearer however, I do seem to remember some load of bollocks called “The Amazing Race” winning ‘Outstanding Reality / Competition Program’ *cough*bullshit*cough*. Along with that, many congrats go out to Geoffrey Rush grabbing the gong for “The Life & Death Of Peter Sellers”, the guys and girls at “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart” who managed to pick up ‘Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series’ & ‘Outstanding Writing’ for the same category, James Spader for winning ‘Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series’ for “Boston Legal”, those ‘Desperate’ ladies who put the “Ho” in “Housewives”, and last but not least to J.J., Damon & the rest of the crew over at “Lost” who deservingly bagged themselves the big ones of the night, ‘Outstanding Directing For A Drama Series’ & ‘Outstanding Drama Series’.

For all you Aussies, don’t forget to tune into Channel 9 this Sunday night, where you can catch Mr. Millionaire himself, Eddie McGuire hosting “50 Years, 50 Shows”. I know what you’re thinking – you’ve already seen this on 7 & 10 in the past month or so…. Not true here. What 9 is doing is celebrating the 50 years of Australian broadcasting across all networks, by having a panel of experts compile a list of the 50 best Oz TV shows of all time, including “Number 96”, “Big Brother”, “Graham Kennedy’s Coast to Coast” and loads more. Tune in to the tube at 8:30 this Sunday for the full list, where hopefully we’ll manage to see “Hey Dad!” at numero uno.

To finish off, two little juicy tidbits for you: A little birdie has told the Head Honcho Clint that we can expect to see the fantastic "Veronica Mars" this Summer on 9, and yours truly might have a little bit of a competition coming up very soon that involves one of the shows that I’ve been talking up for a while now that should prove to be pretty interesting….. stay tuned!

The Rehash

Kevin Loves Jason
Like the big tease that he is, Kevin Smith is still talking up Jason Lee for the lead role in “Fletch Won”, throwing monkey feces into the recent discussions he’s had with Zach Braff. Just a long shot, but wouldn’t you love to see what Jimmie “J.J.” Walker could do with it? Dynomiiiiiite!

Some More Crashing To Be Done?
Jane Seymour, last seen taking her gear off for Owen Wilson (allegedly as a part of the film) has announced that she will be back once more for another “Wedding Crashers” flick. Got MILF?

More Felt Headed For The Big Screen
Not content with driving the once lovable “Muppets” 6 feet under, the Henson group (not to be confused with those delightful youngsters, the Hanson group) are now planning on murdering “Fraggle Rock” as well. Rumor has it that it follows two young Fraggle’s as they discover the joy of an “adult” relationship, with famous nodder Jenna Jameson voicing (well, in a slightly muffled voice) a new character, Hootie McBoobs…. But not really.

The Most Salacious Piece Of Tabloid Gossip This Week

After last week’s surprisingly fitting topic regarding Kate Moss and her “recreational” ways, I’ve had a dig around to try and find the next headline grabber, and thanks to the IMDB, I reckon I’ve found it:

Stars’ Communist Files Revealed
Late screen siren Marilyn Monroe was a suspected communist and tracked by the FBI. Newly-released documents reveal Monroe was just a number of stars the Federal Bureau of Investigation kept files on – including John Lennon, Frank Sinatra, The Beach Boys, Louis Armstrong, Albert Einstein, Lucille Ball and Liberace. The Some Like It Hot actress was targeted after she applied for visa to visit Russia. She was then tracked meeting a communist group during a holiday to Mexico organized by Sinatra. Sinatra aroused suspicion because the FBI were tipped off he had attended sex parties with President John F. Kennedy. Lennon was added to the list when agents deduced he planned to disrupt the Republican National Convention in 1973, but struck him off because his drug habits rendered him incapable of being a revolutionary.

So, Richard Nixon, the man who appointed Elvis Presley as an honoree Drug Enforcement Officer, believed that John Lennon couldn’t be a revolutionary because of drug use……..

The Official Weeks Seal Of Approval DVD Release Of The Week

It’s a tough choice this week. I very nearly went with "The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy", but if I did that, I’d be fooling myself into believing that the "Classic John Hughes Collection" collection isn’t the best thing since sliced bread.
If “Breakfast Club”, “Sixteen Candles” & “Weird Science” (in DTS no less!) don’t get your inner 80’s geek on, you haven’t lived yet brother. This is the best reminder of how incredible John Hughes is as a Writer / Director, and if you top things off by popping in your copy of "Ferris Bueller’s Day Off" (and possibly a little "Uncle Buck") at the end of the night, you’d be happy little Vegemites, guaranteed. I just think it’s funny that the one person still livin’ large out of all of the “Brat Pack” on offer here is Bill Paxton, who plays Chet, the shit-head older brother in “Weird Science”.

The Funniest Friggin’ Thing I’ve Seen This Week

Short & sweet – Colin Farrell’s new address

Alright, that wraps it up once again for “The Weeksly Late Edition”, many thanks to the people who’ve put in an appearance with us this week, the very funny Rob Schneider, Jeroen Krabbe, Fulvio Cecere, Liev Schreiber, Jodie Foster, Charlize Theron, Woody Harrelson, Tom & Lisa Butler (don’t forget to enter our “White Noise” competition), Bow Wow and Sir Ben Kingsley – phew!.
I’ll be popping in throughout next week with looks at “Enron: The Smartest Guys In The Room”, and the very creepy looking “Night Watch”, but I’ll be back same bat-time, same bat-channel next Friday night.

Adam Weeks.