Gossip Monkey – 30/11/06


The Masked Movie maker’s regular rumblings

Happy delayed Thanksgiving, my movie-gossip reading monkey chums.

I still feel full from the over indulging on Thursday, here in London. Lady Monks and I went to a friend of hers. Princess and I were the only Monkeys, though there was a Texan, an Austrian, a Brit and a coupla other US folks. It was like a “Mission: Impossible” remake. I was also the only filmie, which was a good thing, despite some gossip going around which even I didn’t know about! Anyhow, I big thanks to Princess. She spent most of Thursday making this, uh, green, bean and pea and corn flour dish which she was a little hesitant about, but this ole Monkey ate a great deal of it, so it had to be good damnit! You did well, Lady Monks. Also, I’d like to mention from both of us that we’re thinking of Louis the cat.

What else happened this past week? Ah, this wedding I went to. No, not T&K’s, but another guy I know. Lady and I drove to a place called Devon. Hey, I though the South had some inbred folks to stare and avoid. Strolling along some harbor proved me wrong. I was waiting for duelling banjo set to take place. It happened in my mind. It’s nearing the holidays and Princess is torn between London and Stateside. She loves it here. Just wanna tell her that it’ll be okay for us too, OK?

Now, what else happened this week?
Lex Returns
Bob Altman passed away leaving one hell of a career behind for those in the same field to envy, admire and aspire to have themselves. After any flop, he always came back with a masterpiece. He was anti-Hollywood and Hollywood was anti-Altman. When his satirising studio movies brought in audiences, the ones he was sending up slowly realised he was a winner. The A-Lists would work for lack of because they wanted to work with a guy who used them well. Using superstars to actually act and the talented ones to play the A-Listers. MASH was actually his biggest hit. “The Player” was my fave as well as “Shortcuts”. Is there anyone else out there to equal him or take over where he left off? Emilio maybe with “Bobby”? Anderson perhaps? I hope the Oscars spend some time on his remembrance.

I’m keen and curious to see what Rob Cohen does with his new Bruce Lee picture. I know a Japanese company worked on one a few years back and technology is developing constantly. Bruce Lee always makes money. I still think of Brandon and where he would be today if his life wasn’t taken so quickly and short on ‘The Crow’.

Talking of “The Crow”, I hear yet another one is on the cards. A female crow has always been wanted by one top dog at a UK company. I’m guessing a revamp is set to occur.

Hugh Jackman’s a nice guy.

Nicolas Cage is assigned to ‘Crazy Dog’ for director Joe Ruben. He’ll play a cop who goes off the rails after being linked to the death of his best pal and partner.

This one time, at Bond Camp, Casino Royale made a lot of money. Was Aston Martin pleased with the lack of control he had on their car? Is the Bourne Ultimatum’s Tom Stoppard being tapped in to do Bond 22 or are the prods going to stump up the Haggis cash and allow him to do a full script this time? No Purvis or Wade please. Remember when Wilson used to pen them all? Yawwwwwwwn. “Happy Feet” did beat Bond to the US top slot though and there are reports from UK bookies that Craig will outlast Connery and Moore. Er, in living, yeah, but as Bond? I doubt it.

I’m hearing good set vibes from Stallone’s “Rambo 4” gig in Thailand, but ‘In The Serpent’s Eye’ for a title? I was hoping a synopsis of mine from years back would have made it through the tunnels and catacombs of the studio offices and gone with “Rambo: Last Blood”. Yester-year, for me, was a good one.

Congrats T&K.

Are King B and Clooney going to team up or what? Willis and George were apparently due for a ‘Gates of Fire’ swords and sandals type flick many years back. I know B needs an energy surge and I hope “DH4: In Bond’s Serpent’s Eyes” does it for him. Speak to Q and walk the beach again and remember the days of “Pulp Fiction”, “Twelve Monkeys” and “Mortal Thoughts”, B.

Why Akiva, why!!! I used to have frustrating hard-to-sleep thoughts about another writer and why oh why did the studios hire him. Oh, they didn’t, he hired other people to do it for him. Gotcha, but along came Akiva. Struggling DTV scribes out there, you have hope to achieve blockbuster stardom and not just bottom shelf of blockbuster dull drums.

Is Christopher Walken really playing Ozzy Osborne? Why is there a film being made of this guy? Will it be an educational movie? Stop giving all that family air-time, please!

On the up: George Clooney, Daniel Craig, Pierce Brosnan, Eva Green. Director Nick Love, Sean Bean. Jason Isaacs. Christopher Nolan. Usher. Val Kilmer. Billy Zane.

Standing still: Vinnie Jones. Harrison Ford. Spielberg. Quentin.

On the decline: Van Damme. Angelina Jolie, Madonna, dogs in handbags, adopting children from nations other than your own.

I thought I’d copy my Master Clint and letcha know what I’ve been listening to. The bands Razorlight and The Feeling. There, an insight. Keep on trucking.