Gossip Monkey – 8/3/06


This Week : Did Monkey’s magic work for the Oscars?

The Monk Machine here…

I feel as though I have just woken from a surreal, slightly damp dream. The dampness of course, my monkey chums, came from tears, flowing from the tear ducts of adorable female acting talents. Talking of adorable female talent, my Lady Monkey is to be with me in 11 days for a hot banana sharing visit from where she currently dwells to popping over to my cage. Not particularly interested by the oddities that is moviedom, Lady Monkey is more in the area of head doctors than Hollywood Script Doctor. Shame, as I think we coulda won for best Film at the Golden Banana Awards. Best Short Film, sure, but, I’ll get there. I’ve just been stressed lately, OK!

So, previously, at the Surreal and Slightly Damp Dream Ranch, my predictions for Oscar night were, well, a little off, but I’ve not been more pleased at being slightly wrong since that time I thought a good friend was peeing out of a window from a student hostel in Paris, thus telling the Gorilla teacher in charge and getting my pal practically kicked out of college. He was simply pouring water into a plant by the window in his room, with some of it splashing out.. Ah mistakes..

Talking of mistakes, was it as mistake that Ole Jack made by calling out ‘Crash’ for Best Picture? Hell no! What a surprise that was! Fantastic. I’d like to now see a spin off movie where Matt Dillon meets a coupla cowboys riding their darn horses on the freeway and he pulls ‘em over and – well, let’s not give the Wayans brothers any spoofy ideas now.

Talking of Freeway, Best Actress for Reese Witherspoon. From ‘Legally Blonde’ to a fully legal Academy Award Winning actress for ‘Walk The Line’, who’s now commanding $30m a picture! (the nightmare part of my dream)

I was right on Mr. Clooney nabbing Best Supporting Actor. Totally justified for his ‘Syriana’ performance. Go George! Go George! He’s done well and it’s exactly what he needs now to start some proper Hollywood Power Play.

Best Actor for Philip Seymour Hoffman was pretty much a done deal.

Best Supporting Actress was Rachel Weisz. I’m still unsure of her really. Was it really an award winning performance for ‘The Constant Gardener’? I wasn’t a fan of the film either. It was, to me, the type of picture Bob Geldoff and Bono would make if they donated their own money instead of asking for the kind public instead.

Ang Lee taking home a little golden man for his directing duties for ‘Brokeback Mountain’ was a little predictable. I still say he should have continued pressing for ‘M:I:3’. Perhaps next should be ‘Brokeback to the Future of Witch Cold Mountain’. Now that’s a movie idea!

The Golden haired Tamarind of next door wanted Audrey Hepburn to win something, but I said to her that she’s dead and unless the Academy bring forth an Award for Best Diseased Actress, she could have a good chance.
Until the end of the week. Keep safe. Monks