Dirty Dozen Reloaded?


“Matrix” Producer redoing Marvin classic

Apologizes for the tardy update today folks, I’ve been out trying to find answers as to how “Failure to Launch” got to number.1 this weekend…surely it wasn’t you guys, was it?

Nah, I’ve actually been out taking swings at the punching bag – looked at me the wrong way again, fool! – When I should’ve been submitting ‘hole items…whatever, we’re back, we’re here and we’re ready to spew out today’s filmish news.

Um…. heck, I’m going back to the bag…. surely this report’s wrong, right? Hollywood wouldn’t dare remake “The Dirty Dozen”, would they?!!

Pinching yourself when you’re awake actually hurts, can you believe that?

So anyway, Joel Silver is the man with the plan. He’s enticed both Warner and Village Roadshow to pour money into a remake of the 1967 classic, which featured the legendary Lee Marvin as a major who enlists twelve jailbirds to carry out a dangerous mission in WWII.

If it wasn’t bad enough that writers Andre Nemec and Josh Appelbaum had been hired last year to pen a remake of an 80’s flop – Mark Harmon starrer “Let’s Get Harry” – but now, they’ve been commissioned to contemporize a film that might be better off just bloody well left alone. OK, so I may indeed end up swallowing my words, and the film might be very well be entertaining, but nothing’s going to change the fact that it’s the most unnecessary redo since “Psycho”.

Geez, “Dirty Dozen” Mach II. That’s enough to drive a man to drink. Heck, that’s enough to force a man into a vat of Whiskey, or at the very least, entice him into a shallow dip in an open-keg.

Time to slog that bag again, me thinks…