Gossip Monkey – 22/3/06


Our Hollywood insider with word on “Tomb Raider 3”

The Amazing Monk-O here,

First things first. I went to the airport last week to await an exceptionally ace piece of cargo. Yes indeed, Lady Monkey has arrived. I could clearly see that she was packaged highly well. Upon her crate was a lovely smooth hole, which I put my ape finger into and waggled around, touching her own, with a smile. I was, dare I say, over the moon. She’s brought the movie ‘Rent’ with her, as I have yet to see it and apparently, she likens me to one of the characters. I don’t know what to expect as I’ve only really seen the musicals She-Cargo, Monka Mia, Monk Will Rock You and Monkey Elliot and they were all very much like poo. I am, however, looking forward to watching the movie with Lady Monkey.. She’s back in a day as she’s popped to Spain to see her tail-less, Barbary ape cousin and perhaps we’ll make our own movie upon her swift return.

So, talking of returns.

A little birdie told me…..

So, this horror film called “Sin-Jin Smyth” is getting some good buzz among the blood-beseeching circles. Apparently they showed some folks a rough cut of the film recently in Burbank – I don’t think Master Clint was there, but I’m not quite sure on that one, he could very well have been and could be just holding onto his review – and it went down very well. As someone that’s worked in the genre myself, I can tell you how hard it is to write an effective, crowd-pleasing horror/thriller…it takes a lot more than clichéd ideas and corn syrup, I can tell you that. Anyway, if the guys behind “Smyth” have mastered it – well done. Don’t take my word for it though, go check out the new trailer for the film, it’s at – www.sin-jjinsmyth.com. Looks good.

‘X-Men: The Last Stand’, not really intended to be the last X-Men movie at all, as we have Mr. Ratner eye-balling a ‘Wolverine’ spin-off with Mr. Jackman, but I also heard that a prequel featuring younger versions of Patrick Stewart’s Professor Charles Xavier and Ian McKellen’s Magneto characters will get their own flick too! I was also told that in this third movie, scenes featuring those characters have the actors digitised to make them younger.

‘Batman Vs Superman’ is still very much wanted by Wolfgang Petersen, but will it be a Christian Bale Batman or somebody else? Will it be a Brandon Routh Superman or somebody else? Will it be a battle of Nolan vs Singer vs Petersen or d) Oliver Stone! Yes, I heard his name spouted in the same breath. Anyway, Petersen’s ‘Poseidon’ movie is looking like it could quite cause a Perfect Storm at the Box Office. Ha ha, with Black Eyed Peas’ girl ‘Stacy ‘Fergie’ Ferguson being mentioned for many a part of late. More on her at a future Monkey date.

‘Die Hard 4.0’ or not at all? With a script being tampered with a great deal and sighs a plenty, are those in the money contemplating an ‘is it all worth it’ feeling? It’s by no means a franchise in trouble, but one insider on the Vine tells me it could be if they stick to this particular script. The Jack Mosley character Willis plays in ’16 Blocks’ is more of a preferred role, for some, to return and seeing as it’s really more of an older McClane and that recent Willis affairs such as ‘Hostage’, ‘16 Blocks’ and ‘Tears of the Sun’ are basically ‘Die Hard With A Different Title’ movies, is it necessary for DH4 at all?

This one time, at Bond Camp, I heard Dame Judi Dench is reported to be saying how she urged Daniel Craig to take up the role of James Bond. There really is nothing like a Dame, is there? I do recall the actress saying Mr. Brosnan was definitely on board for his 5th venture. It’s now been said that Mr. Craig is up for a 2nd beating, sorry, outing, after ‘Casino Royale’. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t really. Are you to be a Lazenby with one or a Dalton with two or a firm fave with three plus? If An Owen can be offered a three picture deal, I’m sure a Craig would be too.

Is Jennifer Lopez really going to play Sue Ellen Ewing in the big screen version of ‘Dallas’ or will is she too fixed on writing her own movie for her and Eva Longoria (soon to be seen in Sentinel with Kiefer ‘just brilliant’ Sutherland). I did hear upon my local Vine that casting suggestions are being thrown in by everyone from Bar staff at Beverly Hills’ W hotel to er.. Bar Staff at certain stogie chomping Exec’s offices. Apparently there isn’t even a writer, yet filming is said to be in October. Shirley McLaine has been tipped for Miss. Ellie Ewing, the confirmed name. Until there’s a even decent script and a budget, are you really gonna get some decent goods? Same goes for ‘The A-Team’!

So, with Angelina Jolie expected to break into ‘Sin City 2’, is talk ramping up for her to reprise Lara Croft 3? Media lawyers are rubbing their hands together, with smiles beaming, watching closely the court cases of ‘ The Da Vinci Code’ scribe Dan Brown and also the other Jolie starrer ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith’, as a boiling away Lara Croft suit could well out-do those in terms of publicity and pay-offs. I think holding off a 3rd movie is a wise idea.

Finally, check out the new trailer for “The Omen”. Some friends worked on this film, so, if only once, support the Xerox! (in fact, I hear it’s quite different to the original – and love Schrieber).

That’s all from me for now. I’m off to get some Lady Monkey Love. Monks.