Gossip Monkey – 20/6/06


This Week : “MI:3” rants and raves

Greetings from within a larger than monkey life size chocolate Easter egg, Monk lovers. My coordinates at present, in this world, are latitude 36.10 & longitude -79.44. Yep, still very much South and in a place called Burlington, holed up with Princess Lady Monkey. I’m penning some Detective show while here as well as a spot of producing assistance, so despite being in “squeal piggy squeal territory”, I am still in the loop of la la.

Lady Monkey actually just received a ‘package’ in the mail for when I’m not present. Well, I think it’s even when I am present. I thought the pink colored, banana shaped ‘tool’ was a futuristic bottle opener at first and perhaps, on another close inspection, it may just be that. However, upon opening, we both kinda had the expressions of when Slater and Arquette opened the wrong suitcase in ‘True Romance’. A little nervous laughter followed. Some way caught between embarrassment, cute and “you know we’re so gonna get this on right now” moment. Okay, the similarities did pretty much end there and then. I mean, taking off to ask my father for a favor, subsequently getting him killed by Walken and then road-tripping it to LA to sell the damn thing to a Simpson-esque Hollywood Prod which would later involve dramatic gun stand-offs with cops, bodyguards, Italian Mafioso and myself and Lady Monkey in between them all.. well, that just would be insane. C’mon, this is MY life, not Carlos Sheen’s.

At an Easter lunch on Sunday just gone, I met Lady Monkey’s Grandmommy. An elegant, well dressed ‘young’ 80 something whom approved of her Princess’s Monkey beau. Phew, I am so glad at that. I was quite the nervous ape. So much more so than the opening of a Waterproof Rotating Bunny!


So, Suri ‘Princess’ Cruise’s Dad will be in full steam ahead promotion mode for ‘M:I:3’ in the next week. Darabont, Towne, Georgaris, Carnahan, Fincher, Trebilcook, Stone, Ang, JJ and more.. are we to expect from JJ a mish-mash of a love story gone wrong plot with crazed action sequences in various all-around-the-world locale? Well, it was pretty much that from the others, so why not him? I’m looking forward to it. They’re all good writers, (even Dean and Ben!) and when taking on any treatment, I always use Bob’s classic as a template. I always fly the flag of CW, however, I woulda liked to see have seen a human organ trafficking African river boat chase of an exploding wonders of the world love story gone wrong plot though. Who knows huh. (Talking of Carnahan. Have you finished adapting that book yet?)

This one time, at Bond Camp. Perhaps we’re in a new era. Connery was so suave and tough and very 60’s. Lazenby coulda been good if he was told to do another, as OHMSS was a good plot. Moore was cheesy and all so 70’s. Dalton was in the time of the action star and in 80’s-ville. I liked him. Pierce was fantastic and transferred from mid 90’s to the naughties brilliantly and could have gone on. He was up for changing. Becoming a little raw. Going back to basics and leaving that effects nonsense in the minds of Wilson and Purvis and Wade. Hype has kinda eased up a little and good thing too. Are we entering a new era? Did we need to? I’m confused by it all. The retracting statements. The ‘we didn’t really say that about him or this or that.’ Er, yes, yes you did. Both of you. So, Connery may be giving up his acting, but producing? Are Fountainbridge still at ‘it’? I’m hearing that a former Bond may have their own spy to rival those of a certain vegetable name.

Talking of Connery. Is he acting in two final films? Will it be an Indy-non-travelling to any location-studio only affair for a coupla days? A script being tampered as much as a four point zero. A script being tampered like a phone. Talking of McTeirnan. I guess he’s not doing “Thomas Crown 2” or anything else real soon. Well, not for 5 years maybe.

Hanks. Don’t do the ABBA thing. It’s a terribly lame step to take.

Hot word from those involved with ‘Bobby’, the Estevez helmed pic that WILL do well. I’m sure of it. I hope as much. Is Charlie making an uncredited cameo with Rene? Oscar Buzz me thinks. How’s this for a whacky future prediction. Demi gets a best actress nod. Talking of an actress nod. Julia Roberts agreeing to “Oceans 13”? Zeta Jones is a no go and Jolie is an obvious one. Like the first one please guys, not the second.

Did I hear of a De Niro/Hugh Grant team up? I know they want to work together and he did develop the “About A Boy” script for Grant. Also, De Niro related. As musicals seem to be getting the big screen treatment of late, ‘We Will Rock You’, the Queen musical, produced by Bobby D and I hear of a movie, as well as a “it could happen soon” movie with Scorsese. Let’s hope I can confirm some of this back in the Hills next week.

More thoughts this week. Monks.