Episode : The One with “Gossip Monkey” hosting!
THIS WEEK : WITH “GOSSIP MONKEY”!
Monks here! Here I am, being lavatory trained, at Clint’s place. C’mon, I’m a well-kept ape and am used to the best, but I don’t think much of the quality of toilet tissue in his place. One, it’s all big loose leaf and not very soft at all and two, it’s kept in a bag marked ‘mail’. Sitting here waiting to poop, I found a new game. It’s obvious Clint has novelty toilet tissue as there are movie related questions printed upon it. I thought it fun to answer the questions before I carefully wipe. There’s a few names with the questions too, so the manufacturers are more geeky than most. Enjoy.
OK, I’ll – literally – cut the crap. This is the anonymous filmmaker behind the “Gossip Monkey” column. Clint has been roped into doing some kind of work this week – probably shaking his bootie on a street corner, again! – so I’ve volunteered to answer “his” mail this week. Let’s see how I go…
Q.Can you tell me the latest on the “A-Team” movie? Any casting rumors? – Trevor Parnell
A. Firstly, Trevor, I’d like to tell you that I went to scouts with a boy whose last name’s Parnell. He threw a stone at another boy and got him straight where it hurts! Why is this relevant, you may ask? Well, being a fan of the A-Team and having been CLOSE to the project in various ways, I know what it’s like to be hit where it hurts. When the Glimmer Man was hired! I know that Dirk Eggs Benedict read a script and it was littered with four letter words. Is that really A-Team? Casting rumors? They’ve always wanted Mad Mel as Hannibal. I personally wanted Anthony Hopkins or Leslie Nielson. It was really a you say potato they say potarto’ situation. Vietnam or Bosnia. Gulf War or what is it now? If you have a problem and no-one else can help, maybe you need a Script Doctor!
Q.Hey guys! Two quick questions for ya today. First, will we ever get the BBC comedy “peep show” season 2 on DVD here in the states? And second, what is up with the long promised “Phantasm” set/special editions that have already been released in region 2? – John
A. John, two quick answers. First. Everything BBC does comes to the States at some point. If you book them, they will come. And second, I don’t care. Sorry.
Q.Hi there. Great news I read on your site recently that Dirty Harry will be gracing the screen once again. I can’t wait to get the game and play it for my X-box, I wonder who they’ll cast as the killer? I think Jack Black would be great. Anyway enough with that, I was wondering if there has been any more development on the Snake Plissken TV series? I read an article way back in 2001 that Kurt Russell was in talks to reprise the iconic character and that there would be a third film in the franchise called ‘Escape from Earth.’ For the Bond casting of Daniel Craig, I think the producers have made a wise move. He has the rugged looks and the acting abilty to pull it off. From Prison Break’s, LJ! – LJ
A. There were rumours that Dirty Harry was gonna be Dwayne Johnson at some stage, but that was BS apparently, or so I remember Clint saying on the site. There’s rumours that a new “Dirty Harry” movie, with Eastwood, might be coming to fruition though. A Swansong, if you will. Snake Plisken. With “Poseidon” doing badly, we may get to see Kurt doing TV! Doubtful, I know. I do like Kurt Russell. I love “Big Trouble in Little China”! And, Daniel Craig as Bond! What a crazy idea, LJ! You’re crazy, fool. Lazenby, Dalton and Craig were pushed out of a plane. Which one had a parachute?
Q.Hey Clint, awesome site, my questions are ‘What’s the latest on the “Silence of the Lambs” prequel’? And the other question is ‘What’s up with Adam Sandler – haven’t heard much about him, or Jim Carrey, lately’? Thanks -Sami
A. Sami, it’s Monks! Clint’s too busy mixing it up in the coke-fuelled world of film producers and egos to answer the Mailbag this week, so he’s roped in a filmmaker to do his job. Ironic.
Firstly, “Silence of the Lambs” prequel, let me think. Last I heard Sir Anthony was doing a voice over, but that could be off again, but mostly, it’s fresh faces, fresh meat. Gong Li is in it, so it might be worth a look.
As for Adam Sandler. Congrats are in order buddy! Heard, this week, that he may have got himself reattached to Quentin Tarantino’s long-gestating WWII pic “Inglorious Bastards” with Nicholson and Madsen.
Oh, Jim Carrey shouldn’t have been in, let alone produced, “Dick and Jane” – that was the most f%^ked up movie of the year, wasn’t it?!. Do another “Ventura” movie is what I say! Heck, I’d even write it! They’re pants-wetters!
Q.When is “Roses are Red” going to be put into work. It is one of my favourite books and I was so excited when I read that they were planning on writing the script for it, but it seems like it has been put on the back burner. Why? I really want it to become a movie!!! – Emily
A. Em, I think Hollywood are waiting on directors who aren’t connected to wire tapping and dressing up as ladies, so until they’ve gone through the list of various names, there may just be light at the end of the Alex Cross tunnel. I think Greengrass shoulda done the duty on that instead of deciding to pen what should never have been greenlighted.
Q.Will Katie Holmes be back for Batman 2?
I do want her to return. Her performance and character is such an empowering and inspiring moment for us women. Just found this site and its kick ass. All my very best,
A. Yes, she’ll be back. She can be back for anything she damn well pleases and it’s KATE now, not Katie! They’re working on the script for the sequel, as we speak, and her character, Rachel Dawes, is in it….but I’m not saying for how long. You just discovered the site? Where ya been gal? Clint’s been here for like 6 years or something….and getting greyer by the day.
Q.Do you know what Patty Duke has been up to lately? – Cliff
A. Who’s Patty Duke? Is she related to Bill Duke? Lots of TV. Why Cliff? You’re getting all Cocoon on me, man. Ewwww.
Q.Hey Clint, Any word on producer Jerry Weintraubs’ “Westworld” remake and who might star? Last word on the project was that director Tarsem Singh had signed on and was developing it. There was mention Schwarzenegger could still be looked at but who knows.
A. You have AB negative blood. That’s pretty rare. That’s from Van the man’s “Death Warrant”. You’re a great guy AB…. thanks for your mail, the past couple of weeks. Don’t bank on The Oak – sorry! – being in this flick. I heard Nic Cage, Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson’s name being banded about. “T4” I reckon so, but not “Westworld”. He still has a huge amount of projects on his bicep of a shelf. Who knows, we may even see Will Smith as he seems to be collecting former Arnie stuff too.
Q.Hello Clint how are you doing? I love this site, it freaking rocks dude (Freaking Awesome!). I wanted to ask you a couple of questions since you know everything… (1) Are they ever going to make a “Super Mario Bros” sequel? (2) Any news on a new “Gremlins” movie and (3) Wassup with “Charlie’s Angels 3”? I just want to say I log on everyday as you are my primary source of information (You’re hot dude), if you ever need anything let me now…Holla! -G Man
A. Hola, G man! Clint’s doing fine – not that anyone here would know, we haven’t seen him in the better part of a week. Anyway, “Charlies Angels 3” is coming, so I hear, and Cameron Diaz is involved in it’s development. She’s also circling some spy movie, like, you know, James Bond or something. As for “Super Mario Bros 2”, I’m sure Urine Bowl has just been given an idea!
Q.Do you know where I can find a movie that was made in 1950 called “Paid in Full”?
A. Email IMDB, doesn’t Amazon own them?
Q.Dear Clint, My question is do you know how far along about “The Green Lantern” movie they are? Because I would love to know some details if I could. I have had an idea for a fantastic trilogy based on the comics for years, and even sent something of an outline of it to Warner Bros both through their message boards and to the studio. So I am curious to know anything about it just to see what they’ve decided to do.
A. Not very far along at all. Are they, Clint? Find that out when you’re in la la.
Q. This makes me real happy. Whether he’s under contract, or not, he sounds interested. I guess Marvel getting the project back and giving it a big budget (per Zak Penn) really helps. It also sounds like he’s on the same page as Avi as far as making this an emotionally lighter tone for the audience to handle. Sounds like a fun popcorn flick is what we’re gonna get. After all what else should a ‘Hulk’ film be? Have you heard from Eric? – CoronaRealtor
A. I believe Clint has spoken to Bana recently, but I don’t believe they discussed the Hulk. I think, as he states in the article, the studio has yet to contact Bana about the movie. Good to hear he’s interested though, and will probably be back, because he made a good Banner – even if the film was a bit so-so.
Q.Any idea when all us “Commando” Fans can expect to see a Special Edition DVD? Fox has already missed the 20th anniversary window; tell me we don’t have to wait for the 40th! P.S. Any more info on the possible, but highly unlikely, “Commando II”? Have you ever seen any scripts? – The Vigilante
A. There isn’t a “Commando 2” script to see, so no, haven’t. I also don’t think it’ll happen, I’m sorry to say – put it down to rumors. As for a SE DVD, it could happen…..but again, nothing on the radar. That could change though.
Q.No “Buffyverse” movies?!?!?! To me that is equally as
bad as hearing “Ya know, James Cameron was writing Alien 5, but Fox chose to do AvP instead!” Very disappointing news indeed. Gunn as the villain would have been an excellent twist too (not to mention it would have given him more to do). How else am I going to feed my Buffyverse habits! – Rimone
A. Yeah, Clint’s been sobbing all week about it. Whedon was apparently talking to Alyson Hannigan about doing a “Willow” telemovie, too, which would’ve been great – because she’s a doll – but sadly, that sounds like it’ll never come to fruition now either. Maybe they can get that animated series off-the-ground, now?
Q.Hey there, Any word on whether any Oz networks are going to pick up the new NBC dramedy “’Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip”’? Considering Aaron Sorkin’s other TV ventures were given short shrift here, I don’t hold out much hope but you never know I guess. Cheers, – Stuart
A. I’d say it’s too early to tell. I’d say it’ll find a spot there in Australia though…. hopefully. (By the way, heard the pilot wasn’t much chop – just not funny, they say).
Q.I think the movie is “Deterrence” (1999) starring Kevin Pollack and Timothy Hutton. – Charles Murphy
A. Oh, the ‘what is this movie?’ question from last week? Cheers!
Q.They’re remaking “Robocop”? – Han
A. Indeed they (Sony Screen Gems) are. I believe most of the original team are involved though – including producer Jon Davison – so we’re in safe hands. Just don’t expect to see Peter Weller back behind the mask though. So yes, it’s in the works.
Q.Dear Clint, Any idea when the second series of Foxtel’s “Love My Way” will be available on DVD? I don’t have ‘pay tv’ and loved series one. Regards Lea – Lea
A. Hi Lea, the DVD distributor says they haven’t got a date for it yet. Maybe you should go around to Clint’s place and ask him if you can watch his Pay TV?
Q.Do you know who the villain of the next “Superman” movie will be? – Robert
A. How could I? They haven’t written the script yet. One of them, definitely, is Lex Luthor though – Kevin Spacey is contracted to return. I’d be keen to see Braniac on the big screen though, that would be cool. James Marsters is doing an excellent job of playing the character on TVs “Smallville”. Not that they’ll want to use him – wanting to keep the series and the films separate, of course.
Q.What is Ethan Phillips from “Star Trek” doing these days? – Guy
A. Saw Ethan not long ago. He’s about to start work on “The Transformers Movie” (which I believe has the title ‘Prime Directive’) with Jon Voight and Josh Duhamel. Ethan worked with Michael Bay on “The Island”, so was one of the first to get involved in this one.
Q.Will Halle Berry really be doing another “Catwoman” movie? – Craig
A. Look. It’s like this. I believe they’re writing another “Catwoman” movie, but I assumed it was being written as a DVD Exclusive, so I think it’s doubtful that Halle Berry would want to return. But, you never know. Money talks, I guess. I think they should restart the franchise, don’t you?
Q.Can you find out if Ben Affleck is involved in “Star Trek XI”? The rumor is starting to scare me! – Phlox
A. Phlox. I was over at Paramount last week, and I can tell you that – unless my contact is out of the loop, which I don’t believe he is – Ben Affleck will not be in “Star Trek XI”. Neither will Tom Cruise, neither will Jennifer Garner. Expect fresh-faces, and maybe a more recognizable actor playing the villain (I’ve heard Philip Seymour Hoffman may be in talks to play a small role, but it’s not the villain, unfortunately). Not even J.J Abrams would let Ben Affleck near “Trek” – and he’s best buddies with his wife. Ha.
Q.Will there be any more “Twin Peaks” movies? – Brandon
A. I believe there might have been a few hush-hush talks about doing a new Cooper mini-series/telemovies, but I don’t think Kyle MacLachlan has signed for anything. You’ll know when he does…you’ll hear Clint’s scream echo through fifty counties!
Q.Why did Adam Weeks give “MI:3” five stars? – Benji
A. Short Answer: He’s sleeping with Keri Russell. Long Answer: He’s sleeping with Keri Russell and Greg Grunberg. (For the record, I loved it too, and so did Clint – so on behalf of everyone here at Scientology headquarters, scoot! – ‘Adelaide’ Adam (that’s what Clint calls him) is one of the most honest writers I’ve read actually. Good to see.)
Q.Is Jason Behr really playing “Daredevil” in the sequel? – Jack A.
A. Does the A. stand for ‘Ass’ by any chance? No. In fact, Clint could give you a better answer than I can about this one….but I believe Behr’s agents have denied the report that the actor is playing Daredevil. Heck, I don’t believe there’s even a “Daredevil” sequel happening.
Q.I just read your review of “X-Men 3”. I saw it this week too, did he see the same movie? I thought it was sloppily shot and well, boring!! – Bryan Powder
A. Yes, of course he did. I saw it a week or so back too, and I tell ya, I didn’t mind it. Not great, and not a shade on the first two, but didn’t mind it. Jackman was great, and loved what they did with Angel. I’m aware that some folks haven’t enjoyed it as much as the first two though…. But they probably set out to hate it too, everyone being so anti-Ratner, and all. I’d probably give it 3 stars for Famke Janssen’s legs alone.
Q.Awesome! “X-Men” gets four stars! – Dribbelnator
A. And you get four minutes of close-up action on Famke Janssen’s legs.
Q.Is “X-Men 3″ really that good?! – Tucker
A. I believe 4 stars = very good, at this site, yup?
Q.Just wondering, when is “The Matador” opening in Australia? – Cassie
A. My master Clint says “it’s going direct to video”. That’s just wrong, have the studio seen the film? It’s great!
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Against the Current - the band, not adventures in dangerous swimming 101
Zedd - If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? (Well, answer my question!)
Arrow (Okay, Felicity from Arrow!)
Chrissy Costanza (cat eyes and buttery lyrics!)
Girls (TV) (Okay, Allison Williams!)
Movies - especially when they play in the dark.
Twin Peaks (TV)
Friends (TV) (It had me at "No way are you cool enough to pull Clint"; damn straight, Chandler!)
Traveling - preferably where water is, so I can splash someone!
Star Wars trilogy - no, the other one, fella!
Alex G - far more talented than her younger brother Alex H
Cameron Crowe movies - Say Anything..., Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous
The sign 'Free Wi-Fi'.
Reenacting dance/song scenes from "Grease" with my little girl (hey! Wait till you see my 'Summer Lovin'! - don't judge)
Die Hard - 40 stories of Sheer Adventure!
Alex Goot & Friends (his enemies aren't half as talented!)
Cooking up a nice dish and sitting in the entertainment area, on a cool night, basking in it's greatness.
Inflatable kids pools full of Vodka Lime Crush.
Acidic Email from angry, over passionate teenagers after I trash something "Twilight"-related on the site. Sparkle elsewhere.
My baby girl's big, caring heart.