Gossip Monkey – 29/6/06

This Week : “A-Team” movie cranking up




Worn with pain, and weak from the prolonged hardships which I had undergone, I was removed, with a great train of wounded sufferers, to the base hospital at Peshawar. Here I rallied, and had already improved so far as to be able to walk about the wards, and even to bask a little upon the verandah, when I was struck down by enteric fever, that curse of our Indian possessions. Ah, if only I was as literary as Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Or even Conan, the talk show guy. (Not the Governating Repub Conan!) It was Doyle’s birthday on May 22nd. You may have seen it on Google the other day. They’re a good bunch, those Google folks.

I turned into Shermonk Holmes this week, investigating and inspecting, quite closely, Princess Lady Monkey’s very own google. She had set me a challenge. I felt as though my eyes were blind and my monkey paws bound. Okay, okay they were! However, what I was instructed to seek was clearly right there, in my face!

Lady Monkey was being aided by her Mother the other day, in the unpacking business. You know, crockery and whatnot. My Princess widened her eyes with embarrassment shock in a ‘did she see it or not?’ kinda way, when Mommy dearest uncovered the box containing her pink banana tick tocker!

So, we’ve finally acquired another residence someplace. A nice comfortable abode for the two of us to rustle around in. She can ride on my tire and I can play with her pink banana tick tocker. Lady Monkey, being the Princess she is, has not only requested I make her tea each morning, but play find the google too, whilst being Shermonk Holmes! She insists, when I do something correct, that she is the one who yells “Elementary, my dear Monkton. Elementary!”

Willis and Besson re-teaming?
Talking of Elements.. Are Bruce Willis and Luc Besson teaming up for something again or was it just Cannes whispers? Sure he said to some journos before getting splashed by a surprising wave, that “Die Hard 4″ is closer than ever, but won’t be called “Die Hard 4″. Mr. Rifkin, Mr. Wiat, that former stuntman at Fox who was dealing with it all yesteryear.. Don’t “Casino Royale” this up, guys! You’ve had some good scripts and the top writers and even “Die Hard” fanatics who are good scribes, penning stuff for this. If you think you’re ready to roll with this, well, there are people on the Vine who doubt that very much. Anyway, I digress. The Besson connection. I’ll swing round some Vines and listen some more on that.

I would’ve liked Wolverine
This one time, at Bond Camp. Dougray Scott has said he was offered Bond at the “Die Another Day” stage and then Brosnan decided he’d do it. I’m sure I’m correct in thinking that was Pierce’s ‘option to do a fourth’. Hey, write to me if you so wish, but I seriously believe this new addition to the neighborhood here, Robbie Williams, would have made a good Bond. “How can you say that without seeing him act!?” Most will say. “He’s a ******* pop star!” He acts all the time! Anyway, didn’t some casting chick allegedly say he will never be Bond because she had the hots for him and he told the press? Anyways, those Bondians are stating more snooping pictures have appeared on the net of various sets and scenes. Damn those ‘snooping’ paps. I know this pop star who has her own pap guy who snaps her ‘unaware’ and sells the pics to those certain magazines. It just reminded me. Not saying that happens at all! Actually, forget the Robbie thing. Hugh Jackman all the way. Sigh.. So, what else? I hear Tom Stoppard is now penning the 22nd official Bond movie. Now, Stoppard is also on board the “Bourne Ultimatum”. Those Broccoli folk just don’t give up, do they? They’re going more and more down the “Hey didn’t we tell you to do this?” said Brosnan path than ever!

More 80s TV shows turning movies!
So I hear the “A-Team” is cranking up a pace. Cranking up a pace-maker, but still a pace at that, with their former Bond writer doing something or other on it. What with “Knight Rider” also stepping up on the development front and word that CHIPS is also in line for a movie, I’m getting excited. Bruce whatsit Bond scribe has tackled the “A-Team” script, damnit. I wanna get my paws on that one, I can tell you. See if I don’t! (cue echoed evil laughter). It’s a real 80’s comeback show here right now and we’re set to turn animated favorites into live action movies. “Transformers” is sounding good. “He-Man” and “Thunder Cats” are still in the works too. Warners have “Thunder Cats” I believe, though two or three separate producers and managers with very different Treatments and screenplays are having their own battle. One is set up like a real “X-Men”, leaving the Thunder Cat’s home planet as it is destroyed by those crazy ass Mutants. Another has the birth of Lion-O.. yawwwn and a ‘how Jaga’ got to be Jaga crud.

Up Ramsay’s Street
What a surprise! The BBC has inked a deal with director Lynne Ramsay. She’ll helm a movie of the book ‘We need to talk about Kevin’. It’s about a Mom who raises a kid she never really wanted.

Stone for President
I hear Oliver Stone is getting back to what he should be doing. (You know if I get started on 9/11, I wont stop), so I won’t.) Anyway, Stoner – hehe – is doing a movie on Hugo Chavez, the Venezuelan President, who seems to be getting all too close to the Mayor in London, UK, right now. Don’t get me started on that guy!

Vote 1 ‘Borat’
Sacha Baron Cohen’s ‘Borat’ movie is gonna be a hoot! It’s my must see comedy of the year and a much needed break from the now out-of-steam Ali G character. Kazakhstani TV journo Borat travels the US in search of what can make Kazakhstan er.. great! A scene which features Borat wrestling his best pal, naked, from a room to a hotel elevator and so on is gonna be a classic. Those who are unfamiliar with this character, get out there and buy a DVD of Cohen’s now damnit!

Da Stupidity
Da Vinci Code made money then. It had to, didn’t it? Did people really think it would bomb? (I hear Tom Hanks is playing hardball and might not return for “Angels and Demons” – they might be casting ‘younger’, doing an Affleck/Jack Ryan move).

OK, this Shermonk is getting his investigative ass outta here.

Elementary Morris. Elementary