Caffeinated Clint – 11/9/06


A licky boom boom down, Informer

Caffeinated Clint
A weekly editorial Grande with a double shot
With Clint Morris

Did you know that Sam Worthington – he’s the rising Aussie actor, currently starring in “Macbeth”, that’s rumoured for a role in James Cameron’s next pic “Avatar” – was actually JUST pipped at the post by Daniel Craig for the role of Bond? Yep, Worthington was deep into weapons training, brushing up on his British-isms, perfecting his coolness, and essentially gearing up for the role… until he was informed, at the 11th hour no less, that he would no longer be needed and that they’re going with Daniel Craig. OK, I don’t think Worthington is Bond. I just don’t. I think the guy is awesome, but I just don’t see him as a suave – heck, I don’t see him in a suit! – Super spy ordering up a martini. But you know what? It would’ve been damn interesting to see what he would’ve done with the role. Based purely on his looks, he might have looked the part – he is, after all, quite dark [haired]. Maybe it would’ve worked? I dunno. But that’s some news that’s come to light this week – that Worthington near had the role. He would’ve been the first AUSSIE Bond since George Lazenby to play Ian Flemming’s iconic Mi6 agent. But, maybe it was a good thing that it didn’t work out for Worthington, because he’s in final talks to star in, as I mentioned above, the new James Cameron film, “Avatar”. He’d be playing the role of Jake (not Josh, as recently reported), the main character, who’s an ex-marine controller whose now paralysed and lost all meaning for life.

Here’s the character description:
[JAKE (FORMERLY YOUNG MALE LEAD)] Early- mid 20’s. Caucasian. Angry and jaded, he harbors a grudge against the world and his current situation. Highly intelligent and creative, he hides his softer side behind a thick wall of issues. Having suffered great tragedy, he is scarred both emotionally and physically. His encounters with the local indigenous culture changes his life.

It’s the kind of role that could really break Worthington – and have Hollywood banging down his door from here on out. Cameron, after all, turned mostly unknown-stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton and Michael Biehn into stars didn’t he? Rick Rossovi….Ok, maybe not him….(Speaking of which, sorry AB, I hear the good word is that Schwarzenegger won’t be involved in either “Avatar” or “Battle Angel Alita” – but you can always keep your fingers crossed that the “T4” cameo comes off). Just one thing, Early-Mid 20’s? Um, Worthington might wanna make a quick amendment to his D.O.B on his resume….. scrub off a few years mate. Whatever the case, Sam rocks – watch out America!

Quarter way through coffee

Was just having a conversation with Adam ‘Mr Mandy Moore’ Weeks about the trials and tribulations of my young cat, Louis Vuitton (don’t ask). The poor little wide-eyed – that’s literal, by the way, he looks like E.T post crack party – bugger has had quite the ordeal the past couple of years. He got crystals you see, or in simpler terms, blocked – kitty couldn’t go pee pee. Anyway, it kept happening. He was back and forward to the vet nearly each and every week. It became quite a costly exercise. You’d hand over cash, they’d do another fix-up on him, and then the circle of crap would begin again. More maddening than signing up to part-finance “Lightning Jack” while inebriated, I tell ya. Anyway, the latest is…. That he’s had the ultimate operation of operations to fix him (we hope). A SEX CHANGE (or as Weeksy calls it a ‘Wachowski’). Louis is now Louise. You see, he’s always going to have crystals in his bladder, but if he’s got a bigger pee hole – hence, the inclusion of a vagina – he should be able to whiz them out easier. So quite a story – and a costly one of that. We’ve come to the conclusion that the little sod has probably cost us about $5000 all up – if he weren’t a pure-breed, he’d be rap-dancing on a street corner – or flogging himself on YouTube – to pay it off. Anyway, the good news is, he’s doing OK. Just one thing – what’s with the Peter Allen songs coming from his kitty house? I don’t have to pay extra for that do I?
Medical explanation on the above: “Struvite crystals in cats may be sterile or associated with urinary tract infection. Sterile uroliths appear to be more common and are usually diet related. Struvite stones secondary to infection in cats tend to be associated with congenital urinary tract disorders or other primary urinary tract disturbances. Resolution and prevention revolves around the provision of a low Mg++ acidifying diet, controlling urinary tract infection and promotion of diuresis” –
Just in case your cat needs to get the ‘Wachowski’ one day.

Half-way through coffee

As I mentioned on my MySpace earlier in the week, the passing of Steve Irwin has affected people a lot more than, well, they ever expected it would. OK, say what you will – we knew he’d probably go sooner than the guy up the road that sits in his caravan watching “Empty Nest” tapes on loop, because he did live so much on the edge, but he was a guy that seemed….well, almost immortal. So much life in the dude. Where the heck does all that energy go? (Yep, when someone dies, their energy transports to someone else….usually someone close. I’ve got Jack Warden’s at the moment). I’m guessing Bindi, Steve’s daughter. Say she’ll also be the one to take over – I mean, she’s already doing her own show – as the face of the Zoo, and the empire he left….. Whatever the case, a big loss for Australia. The biggest stake through the heart since Kennedy left us, I reckon.

Here are 10 legendary ‘Steve Irwin’ Crocodile Hunter-isms, to end this bit on…

1. Because when they strike it can be that quick that if they’re within range, you’re dead, you’re dead in your tracks. And his head weighs more than my body so it’s WHACK!

2. But I put my life on the line to save animals.

3. Crikey means gee whiz, wow!

4. Crikey, mate. You’re far safer dealing with crocodiles and western diamondback rattlesnakes than the executives and the producers and all those sharks in the big MGM building.

5. Every cent we earn from Crocodile Hunter goes straight back into conservation. Every single cent.

6. Herein lies our problem. If we level that much land to grow rice and whatever, then no other animal could live there except for some insect pest species. Which is very unfortunate.

7. I am optimistic globally. So many scientists are working frantically on the reparation of our planet.

8. I believe our biggest issue is the same biggest issue that the whole world is facing, and that’s habitat destruction.

9. I bled a lot. I got hit across the face. We couldn’t film for seven days. I got hit, whacked, underwater, across the face. I finished the shot, got into the boat and blood started coming out.

10. I have no fear of losing my life – if I have to save a koala or a crocodile or a kangaroo or a snake, mate, I will save it.

Three quarters the way through coffee
Do I hear rumblings of a former “Twin Peaks” favourite joining the already-immense cast of “Lost”? Another ‘Other’ they say? I do, I do. It’s early days, but that’s the word flittering about ABC. Who is it? Well, here are a couple of clues: Domino, Eveleth Mines, The Seed, and Obsessive Fans. More on this when, and if, it comes off – but one thing’s for sure, the show is looking for some fresh blood. Preferably actors who don’t drink.
You don’t see a lot of the “Twin Peaks” cast anymore, do you? I mean, even Kyle MacLachlan – who had a bit of a career resurgence thanks to “Sex and the City” – seems to have disappeared off the map again. And I so can’t understand why Michael Ontkean didn’t get more work after the series? He was good, but he’s been delegated to Hallmark hell. Sure, Sherilyn Fenn, Madchen Amick and Sheryl Lee have all had their fare-share of TV guest-spots and pooped pilots, but no one much from the show has been able to top their experience in Lynch-Frost land (with the exception of Heather Graham, who was really only ever a guest-star on the show, anyway). Lets look at James Marshall. He’s the saddest example. Just received a preview tape for a new film called “Alien Lockdown”. He’s in it. He’s the star. And it is dire. Just terrible. Worse than unexpected diarrhoea. It’s a real pity too, because the guy was good. Thought he might go places after doing “A Few Good Men” – he played one of the two guys on trial – and “Gladiator” (not the Russell Crowe one), in which he had the lead role of a boxer that beats the beetroot out of Brian Dennehy’s belly. Don’t know what happened, though. He just seemed to disappear. Gotta admit though, Ray Wise had a good role on “24” last season – it wasn’t quite Leland, but it was a good spot for him. (Speaking of “24”, the ‘Monkey’ tells me that Kim Basinger may have been asked to guest-star next season, at the request of star/producer Kiefer Sutherland – they worked on that piece of shit called “The Sentinel” together).

Speaking of TV stars you don’t see a helluva lot of these days, good ol’ Dustin Nguyen – yep, Harry Truman Ioki himself! – of “21 Jump Street” fame (and no folks, he’s not going to be in the movie. They’ve decided against having the original players cameo in it, apparently), dropped me a line to see what I think of the trailer for his new movie, “The Rebel”. I have to say, this looks cool. Heck, why don’t guys have a look for yourself….

Granted, things are only going to get even bigger – and better – for Dustin, thanks to his turn in the Australian film “Little Fish”, but “Rebel” still looks like it’ll be a good addition to his resume. Hope you’re well ol’ friend.

One sip to go

Jeff Goldblum loves his Griddle. As in, the restaurant on Sunset. Heck, I do too – it’s one of Los Angeles’ best places to eat. I swear, you pay a little, you get a lot. I dare anyone to try and finish his or her meal. Anyway, The Fly himself was picking up his usual order there a coupla weeks back. The word on “Jurassic Park 4”? He’s not in. Sam Niell mightn’t be either. BUT, It is happening. So what gives huh?
Sounds like they’re going to try and breathe some new life into the franchise – hard, I reckon, it’s as done as charcoaled chips – and cast the thing with some spunky, new talent. The word is Lexie, who was the granddaughter of Sir Richard Attenborough’s character in the first film, might be one of the main characters. She’ll have grown up quite a bit since the events of the first film, apparently. Spielberg has apparently spoken to actress (though she doesn’t do a lot of acting anymore, she mainly paints – you can check out some of her stuff here) Ariana Richards, who played the character as a tyke in the first film, about coming back for this new one. I’d like to see her do it too – I always like to see the original actor return to the role they originated (in some respects, I would’ve liked to have seen Furlong back as John Connor too). Do I think they’ll go with her? No, I don’t. That’s just a personal feeling. If she is indeed one of – or the – main characters in the new film, then they’ll want a bigger name. Simple as that. Joe Johnston is apparently going to make the final decision on who gets the role – at the moment; he’s the director of the film. Attenborough has committed to returning for it. He’s back as John Hammond. And the script apparently has him – and Lexie – taking on the dinosaurs that have now invaded the mainland. Told the studio has the option on Alessandra Nivola (Billy Brennan) still, too. Whether they decide to include him or not is another matter. Whatever the case, this new “Jurassic Park” flick will be out in 2008.

DVD of the week
Prison Break : Season 1 – Granted, I haven’t even got the DVD yet, and I’m not even sure whether we will receive it, but the show was just wonderful that it’s one of those offerings that I dare say I’ll end up buying, if not given. Apparently there are some great extras on the disc, including information on how Wentworth Miller got the role. Did you know that Brett Ratner discovered Miller when he auditioned for the role of Superman? True. He apparently gave such a good audition, that when the time came to cast the role of Michael on PB, Ratner immediately remembered the lanky Kryptonian wannabe.

Theatrical release of the week
Last Train to Freo – “The Breakfast Club on a train” – but with a killer sting under it’s bonnet – if you will, the film is set in Western Australia, over the course of a hot Summers night, where two ex-con friends (Steve Le Marquand & Tom Budge) are taking the train to Fremantle. Pretty much only interested in causing trouble and mucking a ruckus, they start to get under the skin of the few – who enter the picture, and therefore the train, at different times – passengers who enter their carriage. Things take a surprising, and rather tense, turn when an intriguing link is exposed between a couple of the passengers. Granted, the film does take a slightly cocky turn – seemingly seeing just how much it can get away with – at the early end of it’s third act, and there are a few obvious shifts in tone that might put some off, but they’re small beefs. Overall, it’s a quality production. All aboard for the best Australian film of the year – book yourself a seat on the “Last Train to Freo”.

This Week’s Useless bit of Advice
Don’t book a lawnmower man for a weekend that rain has been forecast for.

Missing Career Alert
Susan Ursitti – With “Teen Wolf” as big a success – and somewhat of a, I ashamed to say, cult favourite these days – as it was, it’s surprising that the film’s female lead didn’t go anywhere….much. Ursitti played Lisa ‘Boof’ Marconi in the 1985 hit, the girl-next-door who secretly harboured feelings for her increasingly hairy best friend (played by Michael J.Fox). Her career stalled after the film, with her follow-up credits getting no better than guest turns on TV sitcoms like “Charles in Charge” and “21 Jump Street”. She actually hasn’t done a lot of acting at all in the past decade – her last film was 1997’s “976-WISH” – which makes me wonder whether she hasn’t given up the gig and opted for a career in retail or fashion. If anyone knows the whereabouts of – talented – Ms Ursitti let us know. It’s due time they did an anniversary edition of “Teen Wolf”, and we want her involved!

5 things you didn’t know about…… “The Player” (1992)
1. Jeff Daniels and Patrick Swayze were both cut from the film – despite filming scenes.
2. In the original novel, June’s second name is Mercator, not Gudmundsdottir.
3. The celebrity cameos were not written into the script. Robert Altman added them later.
4. The lot that Griffin works on was the former site of Francis Ford Coppola’s Zoetrope Studios.
5. A young Jeremy Piven appears in the movie. You’d say the film shares many similarities with Piven’s series, “Entourage”.