Gossip Monkey – 22/9/06


Our Insider on the happenings of Mr & Mrs Smith

Arv gotta luvlee buncha coca nuts. Morning Monkey fans,

Ah, the English are a breed of their own, aren’t they? Mind you, so is Princess. Here’s an analogy metaphor type thing.. Imagine Princess and I strolling through a beautiful forest, about to set up a tasty picnic. I trip on a few sticks laying in my path and casually mention it’s perhaps a little too woody. The next day, we go for a picnic and it’s just an open field, which has been mowed. No lush trees or grass. Princess mentioned her ‘previous’ had a forest of his own, which he chopped and mowed down and – well, to cut a long story short, I now feel like a shorn sheep and not a monkey. Maybe it’s being in London.

Surprisingly, it’s hot here. Winter is the new Summer here in the UK. Seriously, it’s mid September and it’s hot. Princess Lady Monkey and I met up with some pals on Saturday. Jimmy’s birthday had us in the Old Street and Angel area drinking from 2pm until 2am. Princess has a tendency to wander after a few drinks and I don’t mean just her mind. Her little legs too. It’s a rarity that she’s abusive, but after calling me an asshole for no apparent reason, during our over priced Indian meal and me finding her in the gent’s toilets searching for me to apologise several minute’s later, she’s off again. On a Star Trek mission to seek out fresh air from the evil Drink Monsters of Planet Indian Restaurant. There was still two thirds of a bottle of red wine on the table and so I took that and headed out to the street. I find Lady Monks sat down the end of the street, at a table in another restaurant, just outside. We were approached by a homeless guy and so to encourage his alcoholism, I gave him the bottle of wine. Somehow, we ended up at G-Monk and Princess’s base, crashing out.

Anyway, since being here, we’ve kinda been hooked on Beauty & The Geek. The US version. Princess reckons she’s worked out the order of elimination by studying the opening credits. It appears that the last couple shown, in the line up of contestants, were the first to be ejected from the show. The ones stood next to them were offed last week and the ones next to that couple were kicked off this week. We’ll see if her theory works next week, my monkey chums and chumettes. What else has occurred this past week? I’ve worked on a new sketch show pitched at Fox’s FX. I think my pilot was too offensive to uh.. the world.

As well as all that, we have all this:

Angelina Jolie has joined “Atlas Shrugged”. Hey, I’m shrugging too. No wonder Pittster balked at this. The not so thrilling story has Jolie playing a railroad Exec who battles society as her company dwindles.

Meanwhile, as I wrote this week, in the London ‘press’ it stated Pittster as taking over from the Cruiser in the Mission movies. I don’t think so. More chance of Brad moving to Namibia and giving up smoking with Kiefer. “M:I:4” is Tom’s damnit.

Bennett Miller of ‘Capote’ fame will helm ‘The Immortalist’ about a not so glossy take on anti aging. I could list a few tight faced guys and gals lining up for part.

This one time, at Bond Camp. So, the song is terrible. Kylie shoulda been asked. Actually, why doesn’t she do my soundtrack? I’m getting on the phone. Clive Owen, a not so good choice for Bond has defended Craig as being a good choice. Hmm, which is why he passed, right?

Great script title of the week which I’ve heard is in the works is entitled ‘Treasure of the Bruce Willis Madre’. Details are being kept tightly under wraps just now, though I’ve unearthed a ‘Being John Malkovich’ feel and a kidnap plot of King B. I’ll dig deeper on this one.

George Clooney is directing and writing and starring again. After the coolness of ‘Goodnight, Good Luck’, he’ll take on sporty romance Leatherheads. Been knocking around for a bit, with touches from uh, lots of good scribes and moderately okay directing talent, I’m sure Clooney will be right home for the 20’s set Pro Football flick.

Who’s Hot and Who’s Not?
On the up: Samuel L. Jackson, Eric Stoltz, Zooey Deschanel. Brittany Murphy, Colin Firth. Tom Cruise, Emilio Estevez (again, I know, but mark my words!)
Standing still: The Rock (c’mon, man, write the Hawaiian masterpiece you were planning to do) Johnny Depp.
On the downhill slope: Lindsay Lohan.

Until next time. Hey, where are my friends at myspace!!
Gossip Monkey at MYSPACE