Moviehole MailBag – 11/10/06


Always happy to ‘unstick’ anything you send.

(did I mention I’m at MySpace now?)

Life’s greatest questions are again answered by the webbly, Clint Morris – or, some of them are, and he just waits for a few ‘illiterate silly-ass’ ones to come into the inbox so to replace the others with.

Q.hi! I’ve been reading about a lot of great-sounding films, and I’d really like to know when “Pans labyrinth” and the follow up to “Ong-bak” (“Warrior king”, “Protector” – what have you) is coming out in Melbourne…. nowhere seems to know! Thanks! Love the site! – Kane
A. ‘Coming out in Melbourne’ – now there’s a sentence you do hear offered round these parts. Anyway, “Pan’s Labyrinth” will be released – on limited screens – on November 30, but there’s still no date for “The Protector”.

Q.Does Tom Cruise have anything in the works? – Greg
A. Yep, a potion that he’ll leak into the earth’s water system to trick us all into liking him again…. Oh, and yeah, a couple of new films, one being a comedy with Danny DeVito called “I married a Witch”.

Q. Putting aside Holden’s comments, could you tell me what the current status of the new “Dukes of Hazard” movie? In his ramblings, Holden mentions the trailer for the new movie and I was just hoping that there might be some truth to it. – Mike
A. “Dukes of Hazzard : The Beginning” is wrapped and is headed for a video store near you. You can check out the trailer here. I’ve got to say, I like the look of this one a lot better than that first film – Daisy looks more like Babs from the original, Rosco is back to his dumb ways, and Christopher McDonald’s Boss Hogg looks much, much better than Burt Reynolds’ take on the character. The trailer ends with a “premiering on DVD next Spring”…. I know someone that’ll need a change of underpants around then….

Q. hey clint when do you think men in black 3 it,s been 5 year,s since we seen the last one do think tommy lee jones and will smith do you think they,ll team up again one last time we need another sic fi comedy any think about it from holden – Holden
A. Missed you more than Shannon Tweed’s movie career, man. Um, probably write to Sony and ask…. they’re sure to reply! Sony Pictures, 10202 West Washington Blvd, Culver City, California 90232-3195

Q. hey clint what,s up with somkey and bandit 4 are still planing to make sequel i hope we need to see the badit again on the bigscreen when do you think they will make another one soon i hope we need another car movie man from holden – Holden
A. I believe they’re on the hunt for a new ‘face’ for Burt, as we speak. Until then.

Q. hey clint i had idea the rember old cartoon series voltorn just came season 1 i was thinking volt tron on the bigscreen thse teen,s comander,s saveing the future that would put on the big screen the tenn,s contorl the lion,s zord this is one the best cartoon,s ever made i was wondering if there going to big screen soon from holden – Holden
A. Slapping to the thought my friend.

Q. hey clint i got some idea,s for ya nick stahl the one play in terminator3 the who played as john conner should be new michel knight from holden – Holden
A. Not a bad idea. And Schwarzenegger as the voice of K.I.T.T.? Creamy excitement indeed.

Q.Read your review of “BoyTown”. It sounds good – – was it? – Andrew
A. No, I just give the thumbs up to films if I’m guaranteed a night on the piss from the studio afterwards…. Yes, it was good. Not “Klute” good, but good. Speaking of which, I hear Travolta’s going to…. Oh, hang on, wrong Boy Town.

I saw “BoyTown” in Queensland in August. I liked it, but I don’t understand why they used the British actress to play Glenn Robins wife in the film? – Daniel
A. Sally Phillips, best known for her role as ‘Shazz’ in the “Bridget Jones’ Diary”, is a bit more of an international drawcard – especially in England – so that’s a large part of the reason why she was used. And also, because Tony Martin refused to don a dress.

Q. You’ve seen it on TV, you’ve heard about it… – Melanie
A. Stop right there. I’ve enough spermicide. No need for more.

Q.Who do you think will star in the “Knight Rider” movie? – Lancelot
A. Anyone but Hasselhoff. Maybe even Brandon Call…. Before he’s fired halfway through and replaced by Jeremy Jackson.

Q.Where’s The ‘Weeksly Late Edition’ gone? I use to like the TV chat! – Michael
A. I dunno. We’ve hired a private investigator to look into it. The column was last seen in court, sitting opposite Anna Nicole Smith and a paternity test.

Q.I heard you on the radio last week. I didn’t realise you did a radio show, too? Funny bugger…. You said something about John Jarratt being dropped by “Grind House”. Is that true? – Matt
A. Sure is. Tarantino never contacted the poor guy again. We were actually hoping Jarratt might call into the show, so that we could make it up to him… offer him a coupon for Krispy Kreme, or something. Thanks for listening to the radio spot. From next week, I’ll be the traffic reporter, too – I’ve a talent for pinpointing drug zones.
Ok, lets make that the last question for this week…. I have a ‘very’ early morning tomorrow morning – I tell ya, the owls will be still hooting at the blackened sky, when I arise – so I best call it a day. Talk next week. And remember, I’m always happy to ‘unstick’ anything you send.