Caffeinated Clint – 12/11/06


Belinda Emmett (1974 – 2006)

Caffeinated Clint
A weekly editorial Grande with a double shot
With Clint Morris

When leaving an irate message on an answering machine just isn’t enough…. Get caffeinated.

Quarter way through coffee

First things first, it’s with great sadness to report (though I’m a few hours late; if only because I didn’t know where to actually place my tribute) that Australian actress Belinda Emmett, best known for her role on TVs “Home and Away”, and more recently, as Eric Bana’s wife in “The Nugget”, has sadly passed away. She was only 32. Yes, 32. I can go on a whole tangent now, questioning our God’s tactics here and so forth, but I won’t…. I’ll just say it sucks to lose such a wonderful person. Belinda was not only a trooper – she had been struck down with cancer twice – but she was the type of girl that could light up a room… or a film premiere, as I’ve discovered…. On any day. Even when she wasn’t her best – and you could tell; she just looked frail – she’d always put on a happy face, smile and always stop to say hi. I’m truly sad for her passing… and just want to let Rove know we’re all thinking of him. Rove and Belinda’s relationship was a true O’Neal/McGraw love story, it really was. It’ll be a big loss for him. Rest in Peace Bell.

Half-way through coffee
Now it’s time to rip some folks a new asshole. If there’s one thing I hate about this business – actually, it’s the case in most trades – it’s the self-interest.

You know exactly what I mean:

– Waiting for an email to be returned. Something you consider important, but the person (or bee-yatch) on the other end doesn’t – so you’ll probably be waiting about as long as it takes Corey Feldman to have a hit movie again for a reply. OK, a lot of people are busy (and I’ve actually been quite tardy myself with regards to replying to people lately) but within six-months, you’d think they could shoot someone back a reply. A friend at a major Australian newspaper told me recently that he/she couldn’t get one particular studio publicist to return his emails at all – even when its usually something to do with his/her films; like a feature story they were going to write or something. The excuse? ‘Too busy to return emails… if you want images for a story, do a google’. Someone needs to read their fuckin’ job description, huh? The person just shot themselves in the foot! A major Aussie newspaper wants to do a big story on one of your films, and you’re too busy to return their email or shoot them across some images? Fuck me drunk.

– Expecting you to scrub their back, but not doing the same for you. Run this, Do this, Do us a favour here, Plug this, Drop everything and attend to our film/DVD/music release/new-brand of beer…. But then, well, not returning your email when you want something, or for that matter, not finding it within themselves to help you out when you need something. This game of journalist/publicist is supposed to be part-and-parcel/meet-half-way ya, know? My advice : Treat ‘em how they treat you. Kim Basinger did it to Alec Baldwin nightly… and he still bares the scars.

– People throwing their weight around because well, they have the weight and they have the power (or so they think). What gets me is that half these people aren’t in any position to be doing that… I mean, and as I mentioned last week, some people just don’t belong in their job. Most of us can see that; and that’s probably part of the reason why they use their standoffishness to block themselves.

As a former film publicist myself, I think I have an idea of how to deal with the media. I use to believe – still do – that the better terms you’re on, the better deal you’re going to get with the media. You help them out; they’ll help you out. It always seemed to me that we needed each other. And honesty I find, also goes a long way too. If I didn’t like a film, I would tell that person (should they ask). The media can see right through you. You’re better to be up-front with them. They’ll help a loyal, straight-forward publicist, believe me – – it worked all the time. I can’t tell you how many feature articles for a Leslie Nielsen shitpiece I got out of merely ‘being nice to the media I worked with’.
To those wonderful studio publicists who I deal with day in – day out, thankyou! Well done! You’ll be looked after here…. Those others, well, they can continue having twenties flung into their knickers night after night. (and after they’ve washed, they might wanna click here)

Three quarters the way through coffee

I’m always going on about karma… and how burning bridges with someone will eventually come back to haunt you (something Wesley Snipes knows too much about). Found this rather amusing: it’s John Leguizamo attacking Steven Seagal in his new book, “Pimps, Hos, Players, Haters & All The Rest Of My Hollywood Friends.” “I did a movie with him before and he was friendly… then I go and do Executive Decision with him and I’m supposed to be his right-hand man in the flick. We do our first rehearsal and he comes in and… he’s like, ‘OK, I’m the commander…’ He charges at me… knocks me against the wall and knocks all the wind out of me. I wanted to say, ‘You run like a fat girl.’ It wasn’t even in the script”, said the “Moulin Rouge” midget. “He had to die early in the movie and it wasn’t his movie and he hated me. He didn’t wanna come out of his trailer the day he was supposed to die… I was there very early because I wanted to see that scene. It was 6am, he was supposed to die… and we shot his death at 8 p.m.”
Hey, speaking of Seagal, I’ve got wind (wait for the next bit before you start spraying air-freshener around) that one of the guys that worked on “M:I” might be penning a new “Under Siege” movie for the former pony-tailed actor. I don’t know much more than that, but between drinks with another, I discovered that there’s a pretty spiffy spec doing the rounds – one that might salvage Seagal’s career. There’s another film I’m thinking might do something for him too – if only because it’s much, much different to everything he’s done before – and it’s a thing that Joe Halpin wrote called “Prince of Pistols”. It’s being made in New Orleans, and is going to feature a horde of jazz musicians. Action and New Orleans usually seems to work…. Check out “Live & Let Die” for Christs Sake… so if this one’s handled well, ya never know.

One sip to go

If you’re a rapper and you can remember a page or two of dialogue, you’re pretty much guaranteed a movie role or two – unless, of course, you’re Coolio and you’re so weak that even Joel Schumacher doesn’t want you in “Batman & Robin” – just ask Tone Loc, Ice-T, Ice Cube, Snoop Dogg, MC Hammer – OK, don’t ask MC, he’s busy washing windows at the curb so no time to talk. The latest rapper to make the transition to the big (or small) screen is Anthony ‘Treach’ Criss. He’s already appeared in pics like “Feast”, but “Art of War 2” – a sequel to the Wesley Snipes starrer of the same name – is his first lead. Now what I think is amusing about this, is that Snipes could easily have done this film – if he hadn’t fucked his own career. By going around playing egotistical knob, and burning every bridge he could, Snipes can’t seem to get any major movie studio interested in him anymore – let alone a low-budget DTV’er. OK, so “Art of War 2” is, as I said, only going to go direct to DVD – but so is everything else Snipes has done in the last year or so, so what difference would it make? In some respects, hooking onto another franchise (something he did have with “Blade”) would be the smartest thing he can do right now. But Snipes’s loss is Treach’s gain. Not that the filmmakers probably wanted Snipes anyway, he’d a) have the IRS hanging around all the time b ) demand a Cruise-like budget c) over-prepare and analyse the material he’s given d) flee to Africa when he realises he doesn’t enjoy doing the film. Yep, probably better they got the new guy.

The Weekly Rap Sheet

Movie of the Week :
The Departed (Yep, still)

DVD of the Week
: Near Dark

Watched the following 5 films this week… :
1) Wes Craven’s New Nightmare 2 ) Mission : Impossible III 3 ) Totally Awesome 4) Saw 3 5) Talladega Nights

Favourite Adam Sandler movie :
The Wedding Singer

Clint’s least Favourite Adam Sandler movie :
The Waterboy

been listening to…. :
The Very Best of Legends II (Nothing like a bit of Mondo Rock, I say)

Happy that…. :
“The OC” seems to have reemployed its writers again

Not Happy that… :
I can’t get onto IESB to see the “Fanboys” trailer (its just too busy)

Predicting… :
We’ll never see the deleted scenes from “Fire Walk With Me”

Retro Pick of the Week :
: Eddie Murphy RAW

Thinking that…. :
Miko Hughes may have been our best child actor since, well, Ronny Howard

Star Nut of the week :
: See here

Confession of the week… :
I was a huge fan of Wes Craven’s “Deadly Friend”

This Week’s Useless bit of Advice
Get caller I.D on your phone. Trust me, it’s worth the effort.

This Week We Salute :

Who? : Heather Langenkamp
What do I know him/her from? : “A Nightmare On Elm Street”, in which she played virginal heroine, Nancy.
What would you say is their best film? : “Wes Craven’s New Nightmare” – though I’m sure some will disagree.
What did you see him/her first in? “A Nightmare on Elm Street”.
What have they been in lately? : Not a lot. She actually worked as part of the ‘production crew’ on “Dawn of the Dead”.
They done anything dire? : She hasn’t done enough to have done anything dire.
They like anyone else? : I guess you could say she’s a tad like Rachel McAdams (and well, Nancy Kerrigan – since she played her in the telemovie and looked frighteningly like her).
They still in work? : Yes – but not necessarily as an actress. She runs the Malibu Gum Company, which sells chewing gum packaged with trading cards depicting local surfing stars
Is their career freezing, cold, lukewarm, warm, hot or sizzling at the moment? : Her acting seems to have dried up, which is a pity, because she was actually quite good. Hopefully we’ll see her break-out of the ‘cold’ waters real soon.

5 Things You Didn’t Know About…….

“The Rules of Attraction” (2002)

1. Christian Bale rejected an offer to reprise his role – even briefly – of Patrick Bateman from “American Psycho” for the film.
2. Casper Van Dien ended up playing Bateman for a couple of scenes, but his scenes were cut.
3. Christina Ricci turned down the role of Lauren.
4. In the hospital, a “Dr. Shapiro” is paged over the intercom. Greg Shapiro is the movie’s producer.
5. Eric Stoltz also appeared in director Roger Avary’s “Killing Zoe” (and, “Pulp Fiction”).
Movie Rating :

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