Sure, Cena’s muscly, fit and quite a likeable presence on screen – still think ‘The Rock’ might have a little more charisma – but his debut vehicle, a sort-of diet-“Commando” (the one where Schwarzenegger had to blow up the girls who kidnapped his daughter), does little to induce that he’s got a long feature film career ahead of him.
John Cena, Kelly Carlson, Robert Patrick, Jerome Ehlers, Manu Bennett, Anthony Ray Parker, Robert Coleby
“He’s like the Terminator”, one of the villains of “The Marine” utters.
Um, no, he isn’t.
Its hard to say why the line was put in the movie – some may say its an in-joke; what with “Terminator 2” star Robert Patrick playing the film’s villain – but I’m assuming it’s the producers way of saying ‘Look, here’s John Cena – he’s the new Schwazenegger’. It’s a very confident statement, and considering this is Wrestler Cena’s first movie out of the gate – and it isn’t a very good one at that – a premature proclamation, too.
Sure, Cena’s muscly, fit and quite a likable presence on screen – still think ‘The Rock’ might have a little more charisma – but his debut vehicle, a sort-of diet-“Commando” (the one where Schwarzenegger had to blow up the guys who kidnapped his daughter), does little to induce that he’s got a long feature film career ahead of him.
Granted, the faults of the film may lie on its dreadful script. Written by Michell Gallagher and Alan McElroy – yep, it took two writers! – It’s essentially a stale one-note offering about a former Marine (Cena) whose girlfriend is kidnapped at a petrol station by on-the-run mobsters (Robert Patrick leading the charge). The Marine then tracks the bad guys into the jungle, ultimately cornering them at an old shack. And that’s about it.
With smart-ass one liners, the inability to decide whether it’s supposed to playing it serious or playing it for laughs, and some of the most wooden dialogue to ever grace an action movie (and that includes some of Schwarzenegger’s early efforts), it really is, pretty woeful.
The Australian backdrop looks nice on film, but not for a second can you pretend its somewhere in North Carolina. It looks too much like the back roads leading up to Warner Bros Movie World or the strip outside Jupiter’s Casino in Surfers. This isn’t America. (If the dodgy American accents of some of Australia’s most recognizable actors doesn’t tip you off).
Something I did enjoy about the movie though is the direction (John Bonito has a big future ahead of him) but more so, the cinematography. It’s beautiful. The close-ups, the zooms…. Some of the wide-angle shots…they look amazing. In a better movie, the cinematographer’s work wouldn’t go unnoticed. Yet here, it will. Like the film itself.
Reviewer : Clint Morris
- Trailer : It Follows - December 20, 2014
- Trailer : Kill Me Three Times - December 20, 2014
- The Interview sh*storm still spins - December 20, 2014
- Interview promo suggests Christmas day release still on!? - December 19, 2014
- Trailer : True Story - December 19, 2014
- Walt’s got the next Chipmunks sequel - December 19, 2014
- Team America plan f*cked, yeah! - December 19, 2014
- Trailer : A Little Chaos - December 19, 2014
- Trailer : Ana Maria in Novela Land - December 19, 2014
- Trailer : American Sniper - December 19, 2014
Against the Current - the band, not adventures in dangerous swimming 101
Zedd - If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? (Well, answer my question!)
Arrow (Okay, Felicity from Arrow!)
Chrissy Costanza (cat eyes and buttery lyrics!)
Girls (TV) (Okay, Allison Williams!)
Movies - especially when they play in the dark.
Twin Peaks (TV)
Friends (TV) (It had me at "No way are you cool enough to pull Clint"; damn straight, Chandler!)
Traveling - preferably where water is, so I can splash someone!
Star Wars trilogy - no, the other one, fella!
Alex G - far more talented than her younger brother Alex H
Cameron Crowe movies - Say Anything..., Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous
The sign 'Free Wi-Fi'.
Reenacting dance/song scenes from "Grease" with my little girl (hey! Wait till you see my 'Summer Lovin'! - don't judge)
Die Hard - 40 stories of Sheer Adventure!
Alex Goot & Friends (his enemies aren't half as talented!)
Cooking up a nice dish and sitting in the entertainment area, on a cool night, basking in it's greatness.
Inflatable kids pools full of Vodka Lime Crush.
Acidic Email from angry, over passionate teenagers after I trash something "Twilight"-related on the site. Sparkle elsewhere.
My baby girl's big, caring heart.