Caffeinated Clint – 15/10/07


When Good TV Goes Bad

– The Source – really rubbed me up the wrong way. Yeah, sure, the “Highlander” sequels have always been pretty mediocre… but mediocre’s a good thing compared to the tacky shitswirl that this latest thing is swimming in. (read my review of it here).

I really hate it when good films or series’ go down hill – it almost ruins your love for the previous films, or episodes, in the series. Thanks to “X-Men : The Last Stand” I no longer think of that series as flawless and epic filmmaking (I know, it’s not fair – but that’s the truth) and Sam Raimi really cheesed me off with his all-over-the-place “Spider-Man 3”. Don’t even get me started on “The Matrix” sequels or “Star Wars” prequels – I’d be likely to throw my mobile phone through my monitor!

But to TV…

…Hasn’t “Prison Break” gone to shit? What the heck is going on over there? Has Brett Ratner taken over directing duties on it? Did they get a fake tip-off that the writers strike had already started?

My god, to see such a good show go down the tube so darn quickly is disconcerting. It’s unfathomable. I guess the show was always going to have its work cut out for it as it progressed, because of the storyline (which might’ve been better suited to a mini-series), but you’d think they’d be able to come up with something a little bit better than what this third season is serving up? It’s like “The Longest Yard with Tacos” at the moment. There doesn’t seem to be anything happening at all in it, nothing interesting anyway. And Dominic Purcell looks about as bored as a hooker in a gangbang.

I think the biggest blow to the series – maybe if the writing were better it wouldn’t have been as noticeable – is the departure of Sarah Wayne Callies as Michael’s love interest. Now what happened there (Michael Ausiello tells us) is that the actress wanted a full season commitment from the producers and they weren’t prepared to give it –apparently they planned to write her out this season anyway (I’m sure money was also a factor) – so they killed her off rather remarkably, and sooner than planned. It’s disappointing because Sara was one of the most interesting characters on the show – her character arc was terrific; and her chemistry with Wentworth Miller (Michael) was good. And did you see her final moments? A head in a box. How unoriginal is that? Oh, and when you cast someone to play a body double – you should probably at least make sure they look a little like the actress they’re supposed to be replacing, m’kay?

As much as I love the actress, and think she’s quite a good actor (I know someone that worked on her movie “Whisper” and said she’s quite good in it), is she getting a case of the Vin Diesel’s too early? I know someone that recently offered her a role in a film – but could they get management to return their phone calls or emails? Nope. So if it isn’t a case of Ms Wayne Callies holding out for the ‘big stuff’, it’s her management…. They’re blocking the offers. Seems strange – her career is still in its infancy stages and she’s already giving the perception she thinks she’s Sandra Bullock. I’d really like to know what’s going on there. I dunno, maybe she’s just being very careful as to what her next step is – another TV gig would probably be best – before jumping onboard anything else, but its not being handled right. As it turns out, the guy I know couldn’t even get the ‘script’ to the actress though…. So she might’ve missed out on playing a great part in a great movie. I tell ya, some of these gatekeepers do more to harm their clients’ careers than help. (“Sorry sir, Mr Furlong will only star in the next ‘Terminator’ movie if it’s $3 million dollars; not $2 million. Otherwise we’ll be passing on his behalf).

There’s nothing worse than a talent manager who blocks their talent from good old-fashioned work. I don’t know what these people think they’re holding out for – on behalf of their client – but when a reasonably well-paid gig in a reasonable film comes along, you should take it – especially if nobody knows your name yet. If you’re Hanks or Cruise, yes, you should hold out for the best script you can get, but if you’re Sarah Wayne Callies (or Edward Furlong or Christian Slater or James Marsters or Charisma Carpenter – examples of people whose gatekeepers, I hear, have blocked scripts from) you should hop on as much ‘good’ stuff as you can, you’ve got a career to build. Let your manager ‘build their ego’ but you, ‘build your career’. Heck, come see me… I’ll rep ya.

(Weeksy here – I’ll have a more in-depth look at some of the shows struggling this season in this Friday’s “Late Edition” (I’m looking at you “Bionic Woman”, you little audience dropper, you.” But can I just say how glad I am that this background, pedestrian, bland as dry white toast character is gone from “Prison Break” finally? I couldn’t disagree with the boss more – you know how people are complaining about this South American brother/sister duo on “Heroes” bringing the show to a screeching halt? Sarah Wayne Callies has been doing it for two years, baby. Buh-Bye.)


Hmm, so what else is getting my goat this week?

Drivers. Yeah, drivers. I’m talking about the P-platers. Just because you have a license to drive now, and a stereo five times as expensive as the car its in, it doesn’t give you the right to go three times as fast as everyone else on the road. And yes, we hear your fuckin’ ooosh-ooosh music… is that the plan? Oh yeah, we’re impressed. Heh. I dunno whether its because I have a baby daughter in the back seat now, or I’m just plain sick of coming too close to crashing with you fucks, but you’ve gotta stop driving around like your fuckin’ Michael Knight on acid. And yes, one day you will all be complaining like I am now, too.

Blu-Ray and HD-DVD. I mean, did I build up a mega DVD library just to replace them all in two or three years time – with another friggin’ format? If you wanted to do this blu-ray or HD bullshit why didn’t you do that first time around,…Wasn’t DVD supposed to be the be all and end all? … funny how things change so darn quickly. How many copies of “The Matrix” or “The Terminator” am I supposed to own? So, what, I’ll have the BETA, the VHS, the laserdisc, the bare-bones DVD, the extras-laden DVD, the ultimate-edition DVD, the definitive edition DVD, the anniversary edition DVD and now, the Blu-Ray version? Yeah, you got me – I’m only complaining because my wife won’t let me buy a Blu-Ray player.

Having to keep the channel set to ‘Boomerang’ – the ‘old cartoons’ channel, that shows stuff like “Scooby Doo” and “Captain Caveman” – 24/7 because it’s the only thing that’ll calm Charisma down when she’s waiting for her milk or just plain ‘crackin it’ for crackin’ sake’.

Oh, and after re-watching some of “Back to the Future Part II” on TV Saturday night, I’ve gotta say – whoever wished Parkinson’s disease on Michael J.Fox is an out-and-out cocksucker. The guy is so talented, and so likeable, that he didn’t deserve to be struck down so early with such a debilitating disease. I want my little girl to know Michael J.Fox, the actor. He’s too good to lose. So please Santa, make Martin McFly better for Christmas. We need him. And while you’re at it, go find John Hughes – I think he leaves in a cabin somewhere in the woods near Chicago. But don’t you all agree? Fox was the bomb? I’m sure we’d all love to see him back on our screens. Here’s hoping it happens. Get well, man.


And finally, for those that are interested I’ll be a guest – via satellite – on G4’s ‘Attack of the Show’ sometime this week. It’s being teed up as I speak. I’ll be the one pretending to be funny…. That doesn’t AT ALL look like Ilan-Michael Smith from “Weird Science”! Sheesh.

The Final Word this week comes from a reader named ‘Paul’ : Having just read the latest Caffinated Clint, just thought i’d drop you a line saying that i agree with your Mrs stance on lending out dvds. As i too have found out it can cost you an arm and a leg with having to replace it. I myself used to lend out many dvds at a time, but i stopped once i had too many that either did not get returned, or were given back but damaged. Because of how much i’ve spent to increase my dvd collection, i shouldn”t have to stress over having to replace them in the end.

Here, Here! thanks man. Hoipefully my VHS copy of “Caravan of Courage” will be back in my hands before the end of the week.