A League Of Their Own
Man, what a web this weave weavesâ€¦.
Last week I received what I believed to be several pages from the â€œJustice Leagueâ€ script.
This is the original report, that I yanked about an hour after it went onlineâ€¦.
Just returned from doing a TV interview â€“ hope you yankies understand my brash, strong Aussie accent â€“ to find a fat envelope on the dusty doormat. Inside? Several pages from the â€œJustice Leagueâ€ script â€“ clearly marked [removed]. Yep, this here tree was cut down so [removed] effects guys would know what theyâ€™re working with.
So what are they working with? Well, not a lot. Not to say the film reads terrible, it doesnâ€™t, itâ€™s just that it reads more like a Saturday Morning â€˜Superfriendsâ€™ cartoon than anything else â€“ like, say, something thatâ€™ll appeal to the over twenties crowd – and basically, WETA need only look at the old cartoons to seek inspiration for their whizbang dressings. Having said that, maybe thatâ€™s exactly what theyâ€™re going for â€“ a family-friendly toon-esque romp; like say â€œThe Rocketeerâ€ or â€œSky Highâ€.
The film introduces the main characters very quickly â€“ as if theyâ€™re a 42-minute TV show and have to get it done quickly. You donâ€™t get to know much about any of our central heroes before they all unite.
The film opens with John Stewart/The Green Lantern leaving space for the beachy surroundings of whatâ€™s described in the brief as being a â€œSan Diegoâ€ like town â€“ its there that heâ€™ll have to rescue a Submarine crew (I donâ€™t think Iâ€™ll give away the finer aspects of the sequences â€“ just to say they could look impressive) from something with â€œa lot of armsâ€. Weâ€™re next introduced to Aquaman, who spots the leviathan battering a lighthouse. A large-scale skirmish occurs between the sea hero and the sea villain. Then, Wonder Woman is introduced â€“ but not before Superman, in a mid-air fight, crashes her scene. Next, The Flash gets his big intro sceneâ€¦. Rescuing plainclothes detective Ben Chyre from a â€˜tickingâ€™ bear â€“ something â€˜the Tricksterâ€™ has cooked up. The Flash has a bit of fun with a news crew â€“ says something so fast that theyâ€™re unable to use it on air â€“ which might evoke a laugh or two.
Weâ€™re introduced to our villain, Max Lord, as he watches a monitor where[what appears to be] Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman etc are â€˜â€™terrorizing a building full of homeless people. Destroying the arches and pulling the supports downâ€¦â€ We then learn that Lord has captured a team of superheroes already â€“ â€œULTRAMAN, SUPERWOMAN, OWLMAN, JOHNNY QUICK and POWER RING…â€ â€“ who he plans to use for his own devious mission : pit them against the â€œJustice Leagueâ€.
We see the â€œHall of Justiceâ€ being built â€“ on the outskirts of space â€“ by the team themselves; as well as many â€œconstruction robotsâ€. Seems Wayne Industries is footing the bill for it.
Within a couple of minutes, alarm bells ring and the team er, suit up for action. The alarm bells have signalled for a visitor from Marsâ€¦. Martian Manhunter, who naturally the team presume is evil at first. The visitor informs the gang that their world is â€œat an endâ€ and so begins their plight to destroy Lord and the OMACs.
Look, the film seems pretty underwhelming, sure, but what I think mightâ€™ve been their motivation here is to distance themselves from any of the â€œSupermanâ€ or â€œBatmanâ€ films already in existence â€“ which is something the fans will be thankful for â€“ and as this is merely light and fluffy cartoon adventure-stuff, without any of the dark undertones of those other films (largely â€œBatmanâ€), theyâ€™ve definitely succeeded in that. This will definitely appeal to a much younger crowd than those that say, loved â€œBatman Beginsâ€ â€“ itâ€™ll be one the twelve-years-olds go ga-ga for. In fact, Batman doesnâ€™t even seem to have much of a part to play here â€“ not the pages I read anyway; itâ€™s almost as if heâ€™s a secondary character or Warner have told the producers they can only use a â€œbit of himâ€ â€“ and definitely isnâ€™t the same Caped Crusader weâ€™ve seen on the screens for the past couple of years. In fact, if this is anyoneâ€™s movie itâ€™s The Flashâ€™sâ€¦ he gets most of the gags, a lot of the action, and seems to have quite a few more scenes- again, in the pages I read â€“ than the others. If the character is cast right â€“ I believe Adam Brody (â€œthe OCâ€) is the favourite at this stage â€“ he could be the break-out character hereâ€¦. the one the twelve-year olds want on a T-Shirt.
So all-in-all, â€œJustice Leagueâ€ wonâ€™t be our film â€“ and when I say â€˜ourâ€™ I mean, commonly anyone considered of adult age â€“ but it will probably be right up the kidsâ€™ alley. Itâ€™s essentially a live-action version of â€œSuperfriendsâ€ â€“ in terms of pace, story and set-up.
So anywayâ€¦. Mr â€œJustice Leagueâ€ himself, Robert from IESB did some checking around and discovered that it was fake â€“ or rather, that his sources believed it to be fake. A contact at Warner bros told us he wasnâ€™t sure either. And both suggested we just take it down â€“ before we were thrown in movie-site jail. So we did.
Then, overnight, we received word â€“ as did IESB â€“ that the pages may have indeed been legit â€“ according to some, the pages are fresh; new re-write notes that the effects guys are doing some conceptual stuff off of. So after wiping egg from my face for a day, believing Iâ€™d been well and truly duped, I apologised to the original scooper â€“ who, mind you, we still havenâ€™t been able to really check out â€“ and promised him weâ€™d run it againâ€¦ if even here, with an explanation why it was originally taken down.
Hereâ€™s some of the emails we received :
â€˜â€™Just to let you know that Movie Hole’s Justice League of America report that IESB.com said was FAKE… isn’t. Well, not entirely – it may be a bit out of date but its indeed part of an earlier draft of the film that some of the effects companies have been using to do preliminary conceptual shots. I don’t know whether you took it down at the request of IESB, or Warner Bros – but if itâ€™s the former, there was no need, it sounds like the real document to me. Also, you’re right, The Flash is the star of the show. I think he’ll be the spin-off they go with first.â€
â€œfrighteningly similar to some recent sides Iâ€™ve seen â€“ and it too mentioned some of those more obscure characters that you mentioned other sites didnâ€™t believe weâ€™re in the film. I think you had something there Clint â€“ sorry to say you just missed out on a couple of hundred hits baby. And theyâ€™re saying Batman might have already been cast so that might explain why [name removed] couldnâ€™t get an auditionâ€.
â€˜â€™Clint, you yanked your article down â€“ because IESB debunked it, but then they went ahead and ran their script review anyway? Did your source even allow you to pass the script on? Did you agree to let IESB steal your thunder? Youâ€™re way too trusting by the soundsâ€¦. And because of that, this script could be fake too. Maybeâ€.
â€œClint. It could be real â€“ if only because someone I know has read it [name removed] and says it is pretty lame and, as you described, just like a cartoonâ€.
So there it is. Is it bullshit? I dunno â€“ and if it is, someone really needs to remove their hand from it and get a life because theyâ€™ve just typed up a fifth of a film script for kicksâ€¦ and thatâ€™s rather sad. On the other hand, if it is realâ€¦. Itâ€™s pretty shitty stuff.
But you know what? I could not give really give a shit. Iâ€™m about as interested in comic books movies as the guy that dresses up as a Ghostbuster every year for Comic Con is about sex.
I have no idea who is who in the comic world, nor did any of the secondary characters in this supposed â€œJLAâ€ script mean anything to me. I just couldnâ€™t care less. I enjoy superhero moviesâ€¦. But I definitely do run my life around them, or spend my weekly wage on comics, thatâ€™s for sure. In fact, I donâ€™t believe Iâ€™ve ever bought a comic.
I hear all those people claiming that so-and-so is in the script and that ainâ€™t right, or that so-and-so should be in the script, but it means nothing to me. I know that I should probably be more of a nerd than I am, running a website and all, but the truth is fellasâ€¦ Iâ€™d rather sink a few beers on the weekend than invade the DC Comics stand at my local comic book. So in other words, Iâ€™m not the best person to tell you whether or not this script is any good or notâ€¦. Or rather, whether itâ€™s loyal to the â€œJustice Leagueâ€ series. I kinda remember the cartoon show as a kid, but I couldnâ€™t tell you much about it â€“ it was a big white building, right?
So there you have it. A â€œJustice Leagueâ€ script â€“ or part of â€“ floated our way this week. Is it fan-fiction? I dunno. Is it real? I dunno. Do I give a shit? Does Paris Hilton go in for a regular AIDS check?
Seriously folks, get outâ€¦. Enjoy the sunshineâ€¦. Stop worrying about a film thatâ€™s still months away from being in front of the cameras. And if the colour of Supermanâ€™s undies is lighter than it would usually beâ€¦ who gives a fuck?
Josh at CinemaBlend.com nailed it on the head when he said the â€œMaybe the script will be brilliant, maybe the cast will be stacked with completely unknown (and very cheap) but incredibly talented actors. Great. But this is a superhero movie and if weâ€™re going to throw all these great, iconic characters into a pot then fans are going to expect something massive.Letâ€™s get something straight: Justice League is not some complicated, Shakespearean superhero allegory. Itâ€™s not a deep, relationship movie about the bonds of brotherhood and family. Thatâ€™s just not a part of this property. Thereâ€™s one reason and one reason only for it to exist: To deliver an orgy of incredible superpowers. Thereâ€™s no other reason for anyone to buy a ticket for it. We want to watch The Flash racing Superman! Wonder Woman deflecting bullets! Aquaman calling the creatures of the deep into battle! I want to see Martian Manhunter levitate Aquamanâ€™s whales and throw them at his enemies like giant, squirting torpedoes!! If we canâ€™t really get all of that, then whatâ€™s the point in doing it? JLA should be a superhero, superpower orgasmâ€¦ or why bother?â€
But for those that are interested â€“ a few spotty kids just sat up! â€“ hereâ€™s what we know about the film so far.
1. Batman and Superman wonâ€™t be played by Christian Bale or Brandon Routh as this film is going to be set in a different universe.
Gregory Noveck, of DC Comics, tells VoicesfromKrypton.com that â€œI think part of it is that the character is larger than the actor. If you look at Batman, Superman and Justice League as separate franchises, if all of a sudden you have Brandon in it but you donâ€™t have Christian, then what movie is it? I think you have to have it stand on its own. Iâ€™m just speculating, but if Iâ€™m the director of this movie, I donâ€™t want to have to be too careful of another directorâ€™s iteration of a character. If I use his actor, then Iâ€™m kind of beholden to it. What if George Miller hired Brandon and Christian, but he wanted Brandon to really play Superman tougher and wanted Christian to show more humanity, then all of a sudden youâ€™re entering very strange creative territory. The same is true of using Tom Welling. I think ultimately itâ€™s a better movie if you have different actors to keep the iterations of the characters distinct. The example Iâ€™ve been using is, is it the Mike Mignolia Batman versus the Frank Miller Batman? Itâ€™s still Batman, theyâ€™re just different versions of it. I think when we start to open up the films with that kind of lens, where you can say, â€œThese are all Superman, but theyâ€™re different versionsâ€ â€“ even from Tom Welling to Brandon Routh, right? â€“ thatâ€™s pretty cool.â€
2. That George Miller is directing. Which is a dead-on indication, if you ask me, that the film is going to be aimed at littlies. His last film? Warners â€œHappy Feetâ€.
3. That a number of actors tested for roles over the weekend â€“ they include Theresa Palmer (and why the fuck did they use â€œWolf Creekâ€ as the title sheâ€™s most known for? She merely did a walk-on part in it; she had a bigger part in â€œThe Grudge 2â€ and â€œDecember Boysâ€; she had a lead role in â€œ2:37â€); Joseph Cross (â€œRunning with Scissorsâ€), Adam Brody (â€œThe OCâ€) and half the cast of â€œFriday Night Lightsâ€. Interestingly enough, Aint it Cool says that they were all testing for the parts of The Flash and Wonder Woman. Does this mean Superman and Batman have already been cast?
4. That whoever is cast in the parts will be young â€“ young enough so that they can age over three pictures.
5. Itâ€™ll film in Sydney next February.
6. That Clint doesnâ€™t have a frigginâ€™ clue how Owlman is.
As of October 20, 2008, that’s all we know. And until we know more, there is NO NEED TO COMPLAIN.
And listen, when it comes to printing rumours or could-be-real/might-be-not scripts….
Its an interesting game trying to pick whatâ€™s legit and whatâ€™s fake in terms of rumours â€“ but its all part of the game of running a movie â€˜news and rumoursâ€™ siteâ€¦ you have to expect that some of those rumours are going to be bogus. I mean, we could simply be a â€˜movie newsâ€™ sites and only run whatever the trades have confirmedâ€¦ but what would be the use of that? Wouldnâ€™t you people rather read some rumours too?
OK, so most online rumours don’t pan out…
– remember Eric Bana being up for 007?
– Natalie Portman as Indy’s daughter in “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”?
– Steven Seagal playing Genghis Khan
– The Rock stepping in for Schwarzenegger in a “Predator 3”
– Val Kilmer having a cameo in “Mission : Impossible 3”
– Joss Whedon directing a “Sailor Moon” movie
– Katie Holmes, the frontrunner for “Wonder Woman”?
– Jason Biggs being part of the “Kill Bill” cast
– Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis teaming up for Quentin Tarantino’s “Inglorious Bastards”?
– “Jaws 5” a direct-to-DVD sequel?
But some do…
– remember Christian Bale being touted as Batman?
– Karl Urban as ‘Bones’ in “Star Trek”
– George Miller to direct “Justice League” movie
– Warner doing a direct-to-video “Lost Boys 2”
– Ian Holm rumoured for Bilbo in “Lord of the Rings”
– Anthony Michael Hall being in “The Dark Knight”
– Len Wiseman leaving “Escape from New York”
– Justin Long as McClane’s sidekick in “Die Hard 4”?
– Keith Richards doing a cameo in “Pirates” sequel
– Edward Norton up for WIll Graham in “Red Dragon”
If not for â€˜rumoursâ€™, the film community of the web would be a pretty uninteresting place to hang outâ€¦. Donâ€™t ya think? And heck, it’s fun reading!
Anyway, whatever does happen with â€œJustice Leagueâ€ just try and enjoy it! And if you do find yourself complaining about the casting decisions to the point where you canâ€™t sleepâ€¦. Try and get yourself laid. Iâ€™m sure some Chinese massage parlour chickie can help peel you out of your Spider-man costume for the 2 minutes itâ€™s going to take to launch your rocket.