By Clint Morris
As far as teen comedies go itâ€™s not â€œthe most beautiful of allâ€ but â€œSydney Whiteâ€ leaves a much better taste in your mouth than a poisonous apple, so it canâ€™t all be bad.
Literary classics getting the contemporary rework were all the rage a few years back â€“ there was â€œOâ€, a modern-day version of â€œOthelloâ€; the Shakespeare-inspired teen pic â€œTen Things I Hate About Youâ€; and â€œEmmaâ€-inspired â€œCluelessâ€ â€“ but like a crying baby at night, they seemed to have ultimately quieted down. Until now.
â€œSydney Whiteâ€ could be compared to going to a family Christmas party â€“ doesnâ€™t sound that exciting, and ultimately isnâ€™t that eventful, but thanks to that one â€˜funnyâ€™ and â€˜charmingâ€™ guest it ends up a lot more tolerable than you expected. In this case, the element that perks proceedings is teenage comedienne Amanda Bynes.
Though sheâ€™s yet to really score a major hit, or prove herself outside of fluffy family films, Bynes is always on target in the movies she does do. The girl seems to know her audience â€“ bubble-gum chewing I-pod listening 14-year-old girls â€“ and seems quite content with what sheâ€™s in; her films are what they are and fit nicely into the â€˜if itâ€™s not broke, donâ€™t fix itâ€™ box. But, theyâ€™re not for anyone over the age of 15.
Ms Bynesâ€™ films are usually thinly-written teen comedies with pretty girls, pretty boys, oodles of pop music, cutesy romance and a young spunky lead making cutesy jokesâ€¦ and â€œSydney Whiteâ€ is pretty much the same â€“ except for the â€˜thinly-writtenâ€™ part.
Chad Gomez Creaseyâ€™s â€“ who penned the pic in college â€“ screenplay for â€œSydney Whiteâ€ is actually rather cleverâ€¦ it plonks â€˜Snow Whiteâ€™ or Sydney White (Bynes) into college where she has a run-in with the head of her new fraternity (Sara Paxton) and has no other option but to bunk with the Seven â€˜Dorksâ€™ down the road. Meantime, sheâ€™s being courted by the local Prince Charming (Matt Long of Tvs â€œJack and Bobbyâ€) much to the disgust of Whiteâ€™s nemesis. Thereâ€™s some inspired moments in the film â€“ has obviously thought long and hard about how heâ€™s going to fit in all the â€˜Snow Whiteâ€™ references into the film, but does so, and effectively (The â€˜Hi Hoâ€™ gag is a highlight).
Bynes is her usual bubbly, entertaining-self in â€œSydney Whiteâ€ and quite frankly, with not much else that â€˜specialâ€™ in tow, she is the main ingredient of the pie. Itâ€™s a dish thatâ€™ll undoubtedly be too sugary for some, and too bland for others, but the target market will slurp up â€œSydney Whiteâ€ with a large ladle.
See it before your acne disappears.
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Against the Current - the band, not adventures in dangerous swimming 101
Zedd - If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? (Well, answer my question!)
Arrow (Okay, Felicity from Arrow!)
Chrissy Costanza (cat eyes and buttery lyrics!)
Girls (TV) (Okay, Allison Williams!)
Movies - especially when they play in the dark.
Twin Peaks (TV)
Friends (TV) (It had me at "No way are you cool enough to pull Clint"; damn straight, Chandler!)
Traveling - preferably where water is, so I can splash someone!
Star Wars trilogy - no, the other one, fella!
Alex G - far more talented than her younger brother Alex H
Cameron Crowe movies - Say Anything..., Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous
The sign 'Free Wi-Fi'.
Reenacting dance/song scenes from "Grease" with my little girl (hey! Wait till you see my 'Summer Lovin'! - don't judge)
Die Hard - 40 stories of Sheer Adventure!
Alex Goot & Friends (his enemies aren't half as talented!)
Cooking up a nice dish and sitting in the entertainment area, on a cool night, basking in it's greatness.
Inflatable kids pools full of Vodka Lime Crush.
Acidic Email from angry, over passionate teenagers after I trash something "Twilight"-related on the site. Sparkle elsewhere.
My baby girl's big, caring heart.