Howdy folks â€“
Whatâ€™s cooking? Hope you folks in the states are keeping warm. Hope you folks down under are swimming under a slushie machine at your local 7-Eleven. Hope you guys everywhere else have heard of slushie machines.
You know Iâ€™m not a fan of remakes, right? You know that, right? Bar a couple (I thought the â€œHitcherâ€ and â€œHalloweenâ€ remakes had their moments â€“ if only because they tried something new) theyâ€™ve all been about as fun as having sex with an Omega Moo.
My wife is a huge fan of Freddy Kruegerâ€¦. Huge fan. Every time I want a reaction out of her I mention that â€œtheyâ€™re going to remake A Nightmare on Elm Street nextâ€. I tell ya, I always make sure Iâ€™m not in the kitchen when I tell her â€“ of anywhere else we keep knives, plates or tools that could wound.
But tonight when she returns home from work Iâ€™m going to have to tell her that it is a possibility â€“ for real. â€œA Nightmare on Elm Streetâ€ could be getting the 2.0 treatment, at least it sounds the way.
But this is the worst partâ€¦. You wouldnâ€™t believe whoâ€™s championing it?!
Someone rip a bit of Robert Englundâ€™s skin off please! I want to see whatâ€™s under there! Is it alien? I betcha it frigginâ€™ is (that was my â€œV : The Final Battleâ€ reference for the day)â€¦. Itâ€™d have to be, a human would never knock back a gig, but more so, money.
In an interview with FEARnet, the man behind Freddy Kruegerâ€™s telephone tongue says he thinks the powers-that-be should remake the original â€œA Nightmare on Elm Streetâ€. Er, what?!
What that means is that Englund would not â€“ I doubt it anyway; most remakes never use the same cast â€“ be reprising his role as the sleep-slaughterer! Can you imagine it? A Freddy film without Englund? – - – -Without Englundâ€™s devilish laugh? Iâ€™d rather stick a transformer up my rear end than sit through that. Itâ€™d be like watching an â€œEvil Deadâ€ movie without Bruce Campâ€¦.oh, yeah, forgot. Ahem.
Englund, whose barely had a success outside of the â€œElm Streetâ€ series, tells the site that from what heâ€™s heard, the next â€˜Elm Streetâ€™ could be a remake. It isnâ€™t â€œa bad ideaâ€ says the actor, â€œespecially with the success of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Halloween-and get some new director to breathe new life into it.â€
Yes, it is a bad idea â€“ the first â€œElm Streetâ€ still holds up. Itâ€™s a classic. Iâ€™ve said it before, and Iâ€™ll say it again â€“ if you want to make some more money out of a classic like that, just touch it up and re-issue the bitch!
Tell me this isn’t still a GOLD film?!
â€œI donâ€™t know if youâ€™d want to remake it but it all happens sooner or laterâ€, Englund says.
It doesnâ€™t have to though. Englund would be the one to convince Wes â€˜Iâ€™ll do anything if the price is rightâ€™ Craven not to sign away on an â€œElm Streetâ€ remakeâ€¦ would he not?!
Thankfully, Englund quickly turned the conversation towards the long-gestating â€œElm Streetâ€ prequel movie â€“ which would chronicle the early years of young Fred Krueger.
â€œI always thought there was room for a prequel. I would be interested in being in that!â€
I agree. Thatâ€™d be a great story to tell. Thereâ€™s actually somewhere to go there.
Englund has always waved a flag for the film â€“ but mentions heâ€™s still yet to see the script (I believe there is one â€“ I think itâ€™s called â€œElm Street : The First Killsâ€) for the film.
â€˜â€™I havenâ€™t read that script but I heard things about it that John McNaughton the director of Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer might direct it. That was kind of interesting. Thatâ€™s the one I would be interested in being involved withâ€™â€™
â€˜â€™Iâ€™d obviously get to do it without the make up. Even though Iâ€™m getting old Iâ€™m not getting too old to play Freddy. I always figured by the time he was all burned and everything I figured he was in his 40â€™s anyway. I could pull that off. Itâ€™s going to be interesting to see what they do with it.â€™â€™
Hell, I hope Bob Shaye didnâ€™t see this interviewâ€¦.. it mightâ€™ve just gave him a few ideas (hopefully he skipped over the â€˜remakeâ€™ part and went straight to the â€˜prequelâ€™ discussion though).
Iâ€™d much rather see a sequel â€“ yes, a mother-fuckinâ€™ â€œNightmare on Elm Street 50â€ â€“ than a remake starring Brittany Snow as Nancy, and Gerard Butler as Fred Krueger. What about you?
Speaking of remakes, itâ€™s sounding less and less likely that those â€œSupermanâ€ rumours of last week were legit. Well, some of it was legit â€“ Bryan Singer might not be involved in the next one â€“ but the bit about a â€˜rebootâ€™ and a â€˜Newâ€™ actor as Superman was a bit premature. Apparently Brandon Routh still has the gig. Which is just as good for himâ€¦ because his sexy Mrs wants some new panties, and if Routh wants to see her in themâ€¦ he best keep his job.
Oh, and by the way, you few that havenâ€™t returned my SMSâ€™s yet â€“ do it. I donâ€™t send you messages for nothing, ya know! I donâ€™t exercise my typing finger because itâ€™s entering the Beijing Olympicsâ€¦ I want you to answer my question. And before next New Years Eve! I understand that you have to have a free hand to text me backâ€¦ but surely youâ€™ve got to get sore eventually, right?
Anyway, too hot to stick around here any longerâ€¦. And with the potatoes, roast lamb and apple pie in here, itâ€™s getting too crowded anyway.