I watched “Showgirls” again this week. Man, what a piece of shit that is!Â – and don’t even try to call it a campy cult masterpiece – shit is shit, no amount of bare breast can change that. The film is an absolute shambles – the characters are all-over-the-place, the script is a Frankensteinien-effort and despite all the nude chicks running around, the film’s about as much of a turn-off as a bloody dildo.
I still can’t work out exactly what went on there. I mean, Joe Eszterhas is usually a pretty slick writer – he penned “Flashdance” and “Basic Instinct” – did he intentionally write this as a way to get a pink slip from Hollywood? Or did someone else butcher it behind-the-scenes? And who? Surely not director Paul Verhoeven – the man’s known to be quite finicky about scripts being watertight before he rolls film, you only have to dig up the screenplays for “RoboCop”, “Starship Troopers”, “Basic Instinct” and “Black Books” to see how well-written some of the past screenplay’s he’s worked from are. Still, that’s no excuse for leaving such dire lines as “Molly, they’re going to see a smiling snatch if you don’t fix this g-string” and “She misses us like that lump on my twat I had taken off last week” in the movie – PV surely could’ve chopped them, and didn’t. Tsk Tsk Paul. Fuck, Tsk Tsk everyone involved in “Showgirls”.
Verhoeven’s been back in Holland the last few years, working on very un-Hollywood like flicks like the abovementioned “Black Books”, but he’s apparently set to rear his head in Tinseltown again… hoping everyone’s forgotten about “Showgirls” by now. In addition to the “Thomas Crown Affair” sequel he’s attached to direct, Verhoeven is also now in talks to helm an untitled Wendy Miller thriller for Relativity Media.
According to Variety, the story centers on a college intern who finds himself trapped in a dangerous affair with the boss’s wife. The project is described as “Risky Business” meets “Fatal Attraction.”
Let’s hope it’s ‘So Bad It’s Good’.
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Against the Current - the band, not adventures in dangerous swimming 101
Zedd - If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? (Well, answer my question!)
Arrow (Okay, Felicity from Arrow!)
Chrissy Costanza (cat eyes and buttery lyrics!)
Girls (TV) (Okay, Allison Williams!)
Movies - especially when they play in the dark.
Twin Peaks (TV)
Friends (TV) (It had me at "No way are you cool enough to pull Clint"; damn straight, Chandler!)
Traveling - preferably where water is, so I can splash someone!
Star Wars trilogy - no, the other one, fella!
Alex G - far more talented than her younger brother Alex H
Cameron Crowe movies - Say Anything..., Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous
The sign 'Free Wi-Fi'.
Reenacting dance/song scenes from "Grease" with my little girl (hey! Wait till you see my 'Summer Lovin'! - don't judge)
Die Hard - 40 stories of Sheer Adventure!
Alex Goot & Friends (his enemies aren't half as talented!)
Cooking up a nice dish and sitting in the entertainment area, on a cool night, basking in it's greatness.
Inflatable kids pools full of Vodka Lime Crush.
Acidic Email from angry, over passionate teenagers after I trash something "Twilight"-related on the site. Sparkle elsewhere.
My baby girl's big, caring heart.