I watched “Showgirls” again this week. Man, what a piece of shit that is!Â – and don’t even try to call it a campy cult masterpiece – shit is shit, no amount of bare breast can change that. The film is an absolute shambles – the characters are all-over-the-place, the script is a Frankensteinien-effort and despite all the nude chicks running around, the film’s about as much of a turn-off as a bloody dildo.
I still can’t work out exactly what went on there. I mean, Joe Eszterhas is usually a pretty slick writer – he penned “Flashdance” and “Basic Instinct” – did he intentionally write this as a way to get a pink slip from Hollywood? Or did someone else butcher it behind-the-scenes? And who? Surely not director Paul Verhoeven – the man’s known to be quite finicky about scripts being watertight before he rolls film, you only have to dig up the screenplays for “RoboCop”, “Starship Troopers”, “Basic Instinct” and “Black Books” to see how well-written some of the past screenplay’s he’s worked from are. Still, that’s no excuse for leaving such dire lines as “Molly, they’re going to see a smiling snatch if you don’t fix this g-string” and “She misses us like that lump on my twat I had taken off last week” in the movie – PV surely could’ve chopped them, and didn’t. Tsk Tsk Paul. Fuck, Tsk Tsk everyone involved in “Showgirls”.
Verhoeven’s been back in Holland the last few years, working on very un-Hollywood like flicks like the abovementioned “Black Books”, but he’s apparently set to rear his head in Tinseltown again… hoping everyone’s forgotten about “Showgirls” by now. In addition to the “Thomas Crown Affair” sequel he’s attached to direct, Verhoeven is also now in talks to helm an untitled Wendy Miller thriller for Relativity Media.
According to Variety, the story centers on a college intern who finds himself trapped in a dangerous affair with the boss’s wife. The project is described as “Risky Business” meets “Fatal Attraction.”
Let’s hope it’s ‘So Bad It’s Good’.