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Race to Magic Mountain?

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Caffeinated Clint

Clint is the creator, editor and maintainer of Moviehole.

I really like The Rock – both as an actor (he’s got great screen presence) and as a person (he’s one of the nicest guys I’ve ever interviewed) but I’m really starting to question the direction his career is heading. Yes, he’s been quite successful in his endeavours but at the same time he’s alienating and losing some of the fans who’ve struck by him ever since his legendary ‘Do you smell what the rock’s cookin’?’ catchphrase hit the wrestling arena.

I understand Dwayne – yeah, you can’t even call him ‘The Rock’ anymore – doesn’t want to be pigeonholed as an action-movie star, but he didn’t quite even get to prove himself capable of one, after all, he only did two or three action movies before jumping into whatever genre was furthest from the types of films Schwarzenegger or Stallone did in the 80s and 90s. And now, all the big guy seems to be doing now is kids film after kids film. He hasn’t done an out-and-out actioner for two years – 2005’s “Doom”. Seems he works strictly for Disney now. And it’s a pity – he’s got the looks, the stamina and the charm to be cinema’s next big action hero. But he doesn’t want it. Chuck Norris did about fifty actioners before the cheesy family flick “Top Dog” – and that’s how it should be; gives him time to also develop somewhat of an on-screen rep and image… something he can spoof later on… more successfully.

The Rock’s next effort is a remake of Disney’s “Escape to Witch Mountain”. OK, so it could be fun, but that doesn’t make it any more valid a project. It doesn’t need to be. The Rock doesn’t need to be in it. Wouldn’t his skills have been put to better use in say, something like “Terminator Salvation”- where he could’ve played the new Terminator? – or that action-comedy he and Ryan Reynolds were circling? That sounded fun, but it fell apart. No idea why. Rock probably realised there were no cute kids in it.. or something.

Today, Variety reports that The Rock has agreed to star in yet another Disney family flick – this one a film based on the Disneyland area of “Tomorrowland”. Oh boy.

Granted, Disney won’t officially acknowledge that the film is based on the theme-park attraction but Variety seems to think it is…. maybe they’ve seen the treatment? Maybe there’s a bit in the treatment that reads “Rock enters Space Mountain -jumps on rollercoaster ride and smacks out Buzz Lightyear on the way down the alps”? Maybe they’re aware of The Rock’s 5-picture deal to star in a bunch of Disney remakes?

What next? A redo of “Pete’s Dragon” with the big guy as the Dragon?

C’Mon Rock – give us a “Terminator” or “Total Recall” before giving us “Junior” or “Last Action Hero”….. it’s depressing.

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About Caffeinated Clint

Clint is the creator, editor and maintainer of Moviehole.

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Against the Current - the band, not adventures in dangerous swimming 101
Zedd - If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? (Well, answer my question!)
Arrow (Okay, Felicity from Arrow!)
Chrissy Costanza (cat eyes and buttery lyrics!)
Girls (TV) (Okay, Allison Williams!)
Movies - especially when they play in the dark.
Twin Peaks (TV)
Friends (TV) (It had me at "No way are you cool enough to pull Clint"; damn straight, Chandler!)
Traveling - preferably where water is, so I can splash someone!
Star Wars trilogy - no, the other one, fella!
Alex G - far more talented than her younger brother Alex H
Cameron Crowe movies - Say Anything..., Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous
The sign 'Free Wi-Fi'.
Reenacting dance/song scenes from "Grease" with my little girl (hey! Wait till you see my 'Summer Lovin'! - don't judge)
Die Hard - 40 stories of Sheer Adventure!
Alex Goot & Friends (his enemies aren't half as talented!)
Cooking up a nice dish and sitting in the entertainment area, on a cool night, basking in it's greatness.
Inflatable kids pools full of Vodka Lime Crush.
Acidic Email from angry, over passionate teenagers after I trash something "Twilight"-related on the site. Sparkle elsewhere.
My baby girl's big, caring heart.

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