Moviehole Mailbag – 29/1/09


If you’ve ever seen a one-trick pony, you’ve seen me. If you’ve ever read the Mailbag, you’ve experienced first-hand smart-arsery – – Clint.

Question: So what’s the deal with “Astro Boy” shutting down? – – John
Caffeinated Clint: If you’d asked me yesterday, I would’ve said to try and get a refund on the pre-booked tickets you’d purchased to the movie. Today, it’s a different story. Imagi Entertainment temporarily suspended production of the CGI/Nicolas Cage (one and the same really, aren’t they!?) flick because funds hadn’t arrived in their savings account when they last checked the ATM. Good ol Private equity to the rescue though! Seems some undisclosed money-men have come forward with the coin to save the movie – knowing too well they’ll get it all back, plus a hefty bonus. Apparently the movie is about fifty per cent done – so hopefully this bit of extra green is enough to pay for the other half to be inked

Question: Do you think Mickey Rourke will accept the $250,000 grand that the producers of “Iron Man 2” are offering him? – – Steve
Caffeinated Clint: This is the same guy that demanded an extra $500 more (he was being paid $1000 a day as it was – big money for a no-name!) for his very-brief turn in “Body Heat” , all those years ago, we’re talking about right? What do you think? Nice to see that those offering Rourke that shitty deal have just been hit with a nice bout of the comeuppance virus described here.

Question: hey clint holden here any way whos doing the cannon ball run remake whos going to do it will be like fast and furious trilogy any way if they do the remake right and make 3 or 4 films i be happy with that clint write let me know about this okay write back okay clint from holden and too your wife wrote about the underworld 3 movie i red it i thought it was really good page she wrote any way write back okay clint and i hope they make underworld 4 and 5 sweet with kate in it any way talk later clint from holden – – Holden
Caffeinated Clint: Man, the readers have sure missed you – I know one of them told me so… or was that a dream!? Whatever the case, I’ve never heard of this “Cannonball Run” remake… maybe you could direct?! You’re probably better equipped for the job than half the hacks out there that’ll be vying for this possibly-real job?

Question: hey clint man holden here any way i saw the new underworld 3 and i think was most coolest story of all time the fight scenes were awsome but the sad part the girl dies in it but i hopeing for underworld 4 and 5 so i really enjoyed this new chapter of the saga any way talk later and put in a good what the fans loved about but me i liked that movie because was old style vision of like the first one any way write me back okay clint from holden your friend and writer partner- – Holden
Caffeinated Clint: Ah yes, I believe my wife enjoyed “Underworld : Rise of the Lycans” too… now what was it she said again? Oh, yes… “Beckinsale or no Beckinsale this thing would’ve still been about as enjoyable as having teeth pulled. It’s the longest 93 minutes of your life I tell ya. And though I don’t doubt the beautiful Beckinsale (whose not a bad actress actually – check out “Laurel Canyon” or “The Aviator”) could’ve probably done a better job in the heroine slot, it’s much more endurable (and maybe shamefully entertaining) seeing someone less gifted get gutted. She’s a smart girl for passing on the third round of this third chapter..’’ Yep, seems she loved it too! Wow!

Question: Weeks has such good taste! Its so wonderful that a man enjoyed “Twilight” as much as he did! – anonymous
Caffeinated Clint: Yes, he’s just reserved his seat in heaven… or hell… one or the other! or maybe he’s a vampire too!!?

Question: Adam Weeks and his Writer’s Perspective column, thankyou! He is in love with “Twilight” and as a consequence we are glad to have him as part of the community! – – Janice
Caffeinated Clint: Does he get a badge, T-Shirt and a pair of plastic fangs for being a member of this community? More to the point, does he get to watch Bella give birth?.

Question: Do you know if any original cast members from “Smokin’ Aces” are returning for the sequel? — Waldrof
Caffeinated Clint: Yes, Nestor Carbonell and Tommy Flanagan are returning. And I believe that’s about as big as it’s gonna get. The Tremor Brothers are mentioned, but they won’t be seen unfortunately (instead, there’s a Tremor sister!) – and you can blame Starfleet.

Question: In response to last week’s question ‘Any idea what Andrew McCarthy is up to?’ I can tell you exactly, I’m currently in the hit series “Lipstick Jungle”, of which I’ve also directed two episodes. Best! — Andrew
Caffeinated Clint: Thanks bro! Loved you in “St. Elmo’s Fire”! – I can still feel your performance ‘burning in me, burning in meeeeeee’!.

Question: Do you know when the criminally-underrated “Licence to Kill” will be on Blu-Ray”? – Jaws
Caffeinated Clint: Um, hello Jaws. I’ve heard rumours that some of the Bond Blu-Ray releases may have been pushed back, and one of them could very well be “License to Kill”, but at this stage several sites still have it listed (here in Australia anyway) for a March release.

Question: One more comeback name : Corey Haim! – Chris
Caffeinated Clint:Is this Showerman playing a prank on me?.

Wrong night to have your special “My Bloody Valentine 3D” Premiere night-thing on dude, that’s the night “Underbelly 2” airs! – – Leigh
Caffeinated Clint: Four letters : T.I.V.O. Four words : No 3D in Underbelly.

Question: I’ve heard it’s been very hot over there!? – – Bianca
Caffeinated Clint: Yeah, I’ve just watched all of this season’s episodes of “The Girls Next Door”… my god, in one episode, they grab Heff, strip off their… oh, that’s not what you meant is it!?

Question: For a ‘wife’, your lady isn’t too bad of a reviewer. Sounds like she’s just as cheeky as you. Maybe get her to fill in more?- – Albert Morrence
Caffeinated Clint: Cheeky? Yes she is, especially in those frilly ones! Sadly, she has a life though .. and the only reason she filled in is because, and this is kinda ironic considering what’s written up in my mission statement, she sees more movies than I do these days.

Question: Is Patrick Swayze in “Point Break 2”?- – Albert Morrence
Caffeinated Clint: His character, Bodhi, was originally in the script (he made an appearance anyway) but due to Patrick’s health, I don’t think they’re going to be bringing him back no. Speaking of, anybody seen his new show “The Beast” yet? Any good?

Question: You bastard! How could you “The Unborn” a poor film!? It was scary as hell! You losers are losers! Losers! Eat it!- – Adam Heppel
Caffeinated Clint: First, I have something for you! Close your eyes. Hold out your hands. And wait for the sting! David Goyer’s sure to suck that out for you, pussy!