By Brian Orndorf
Over the course of the last year, Elizabeth Banks has starred in five motion pictures (six if you open up the range a few months). A talented, appealing actress, Banks has dominated the multiplex with a successful range of genres and tempos, but I worry that suspense just isnâ€™t her weapon of choice. â€œThe Uninvitedâ€ is a slapdash offering of chills hinged on Banksâ€™s tenuous ability to channel her inner Hannibal Lecter. She canâ€™t manage the workload, and â€œUninvitedâ€ doesnâ€™t clutch a strong enough premise to overcome her lack of juicy depravity.
Released from a mental hospital after surviving a suicide attempt months earlier, Anne (Emily Browning) returns to her lakeside home to spend time with her father (David Strathairn, making a boat payment) and beloved sister Alex (Ariel Kebbel). Standing in the way of happiness is Rachael (Elizabeth Banks), a former hospice nurse who lived in the house when Anneâ€™s terminally ill mother brutally died in a fire. Resenting Rachel, Anne and Alex try to restore order to their lives, only to stumble upon clues that suggest their future stepmother was responsible for the murder. Fighting demonic signs from the dream world, Anne works to prove Rachelâ€™s guilt, finding the accused ready to strike back with even further malice.
A remake of the South Korean smash hit, â€œA Tale of Two Sisters,â€ â€œThe Uninvitedâ€ has been sent through the Americanization car wash, coming out the other side as a mild nail-biter, ideal for sufficiently pooped slumber party audiences who wonâ€™t demand too much of the first-time filmmakers, billed here as The Guard Brothers (Charles and Thomas). The Guards are on autopilot with â€œUninvited,â€ hurriedly working through the exhausted suspense motions to survive their first big screen job, and the deer-in-headlights vibe pervades the entire feature.
Lacking any sort of tension, â€œUninvitedâ€ is an entire serving of routine, especially to any Asian horror devotee. While Iâ€™m impressed the picture doesnâ€™t explicitly chase terror tangents (the scares are almost an afterthought), the Guards fill the void with splashes of stupidity instead of encouraging ingenuity. Working with an unsophisticated screenplay that has a devil of a time planning out the tight double-dutch game of exposition, the Guards rely on the staples of the genre to survive the night: creepy ghost kids, PG-13 approved ghoulish visuals, and the all-important twist ending. I understand that the directors are working uphill to make these rusted elements tickle the viewer, but I would have more sympathy for the movie if these guys actually tried to scare the audience. Instead, the Guards seem more consumed with getting Browning and Kebbel into swimwear/underwear over staging a legitimate instant of fright.
With the filmmakers off trying to figure out the perfect panty hue, the cast is left to their own devices, exemplified by Banks, who is way out of her league as the potential force of evil. Banks appears baffled by the script, assuming a semi-campy, soap opera stance for her character thatâ€™s all wrong for the tone of the film. Banks isnâ€™t funny or threatening, removing the desired tempo of fear the Guards are blindly stumbling around for. Thatâ€™s not to say Banks isnâ€™t ready for the horror genre, she just needs more than what two guys with a few Xbox commercials to their name can provide in the guidance department.
â€œThe Uninvitedâ€ might appeal to the â€œTale of Two Sistersâ€ curious, but even then thereâ€™s little reason to stay invested in what quickly becomes a grueling 80-minute-long journey into the easily telegraphed and roughly acted.
Blu-Ray Details and Extras
The disc offers a Dolby TrueHD 5.1 lossless soundtrack, and it’s right on the money. Considering the score, as well as those ‘creaky’ sound effects, are such an important part of the movie it might even mean more to have a terrific audio track than video track… which is just as well because the video presentation isn’t quite as good. The 1080p, 1.78:1-framed transfer is strong enough, but it isn’t very clear or detailed -something we’ve become to expect from Blu-Ray. Still, it’s a considerable notch above DVD.
Extras-wise there’s (not much actually) a making-of, a few deleted scenes, and an alternate ending.
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Against the Current - the band, not adventures in dangerous swimming 101
Zedd - If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? (Well, answer my question!)
Arrow (Okay, Felicity from Arrow!)
Chrissy Costanza (cat eyes and buttery lyrics!)
Girls (TV) (Okay, Allison Williams!)
Movies - especially when they play in the dark.
Twin Peaks (TV)
Friends (TV) (It had me at "No way are you cool enough to pull Clint"; damn straight, Chandler!)
Traveling - preferably where water is, so I can splash someone!
Star Wars trilogy - no, the other one, fella!
Alex G - far more talented than her younger brother Alex H
Cameron Crowe movies - Say Anything..., Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous
The sign 'Free Wi-Fi'.
Reenacting dance/song scenes from "Grease" with my little girl (hey! Wait till you see my 'Summer Lovin'! - don't judge)
Die Hard - 40 stories of Sheer Adventure!
Alex Goot & Friends (his enemies aren't half as talented!)
Cooking up a nice dish and sitting in the entertainment area, on a cool night, basking in it's greatness.
Inflatable kids pools full of Vodka Lime Crush.
Acidic Email from angry, over passionate teenagers after I trash something "Twilight"-related on the site. Sparkle elsewhere.
My baby girl's big, caring heart.