Guilty Pleasures that we enjoyed â€“ even though we donâ€™t quite know why.
Movie Title : Psycho III
Starring Anthony Perkins, Diana Scarwid, Jeff Fahey, Roberta Maxwell
Directed By Anthony Perkins
What is it? : The horrendously plotted and uber-ridiculous second sequel to Alfred Hitchcockâ€™s timeless masterpiece â€œPsychoâ€. Anthony Perkins not only returns as closet nut Norman Bates, but as the filmâ€™s new director! With Perkins initially reluctant to reprise his role as Bates for Richard Franklinâ€™s superior â€œPsycho IIâ€ (and only agreeing to once he got wind of the â€˜Christopher Walken for Batesâ€™ rumours) it probably goes without saying that the vet no doubt needed further convincing to do a third film in the series (especially one of that isnâ€™t a shade on the previous sequel, and doesnâ€™t even deserve to be related to the original). Iâ€™m also certain the directorâ€™s appointment was Universalâ€™s way of getting him to sign on. Pity it had to come to that, because Perkins, as good an actor as he may be (though in this heâ€™s a little, er, off), doesnâ€™t deserve to be in charge of a film production. Heâ€™s as useless a director as Paris Hilton is a movie star.
Charles Edward Pogueâ€™s script picks up shortly after the events of â€œPsycho IIâ€, with the community of Fairview still on the hunt for Ms Spool â€“ whoâ€™s since retired to a room with a window view at the Bates house.
The motel is back open for business. One of Batesâ€™ guests is a young girl, Maureen (Diana Scarwid), who has left the convent where she lived after accidentally knocking a nun off some steps to her death. Unfortunately for Maureen, sheâ€™s a dead-ringer for one of Batesâ€™ previous victims, Marion Crane.
Other new characters include a womanizing Wildman (Jeff Fahey) who Bates employs as the new assistant manager, and a nosey journalist (Roberta Maxwell) who comes to see the, er, Psycho about a story sheâ€™s writing on newly rehabilitated murderers.
Whatâ€™s wrong with it? : What isnâ€™t wrong with it!? The plot is a mess, not to mention absolutely ludicrous, the performances are taut, wooden and forced (in fact, dead Mrs Bates/Spool may give the most credible performance in the film â€“ and sheâ€™s not even breathing!), and the direction is far, far less inspired and imaginative than Franklinâ€™s and, of course, Hitchcockâ€™s. Perkins, excellent in the previous two movies, is also rather terrible here. He pauses too much, is too stiff, and seemingly only has one dead expression for most of the movie. He really needs direction â€“ pity he was the one giving it this time around. In addition, though the first hour is fun, the second is mind-numbingly boringâ€¦ it sorta becomes â€œPsycho the 13thâ€. Too over-the-top too.
Whatâ€™s right about it? Itâ€™s Perkins as Norman Bates. Itâ€™s the Bates Motel. Itâ€™s the wonky old house on the hill. And then thereâ€™s the awesome Jeff Fahey (who younger viewers will no doubt recognize as the chopper pilot on TVs â€œLostâ€, though we 80s nerds grew up watching him in such genre classics as â€œBody Partsâ€, â€œThe Lawnmower Manâ€ and â€œParker Kaneâ€) as the scumbag new assistant manager of the motel. Thereâ€™s also a great soundtrack of lyricless beats playing constantly. Thereâ€™s also a couple of sensationally fun scenes â€“ one is a near shot-for-shot recreation of the Marion Crane/Shower Scene from the first film, only this time set in a phone box (!), the other is a really inspired moment where the filmâ€™s token Marion Crane-look-a-like beats Bates to the punch andâ€¦ well, see it for yourself. Two great moments that really help the film play that much better.
Why is it so bad itâ€™s good? : Think of it this way, itâ€™s the â€œStar Trek 5â€ of â€œPsychoâ€ series â€“ an ill-fitting chapter thatâ€™s laughable and exasperating, but still entertaining. Perkinsâ€™ original idea for the film was to film it in black-and-white, and have Duane (Jeff Faheyâ€™s character) be the villain â€“ a nut copying Bates murders from the original film. Maybe that wouldâ€™ve worked better.
– CLINT MORRIS
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Against the Current - the band, not adventures in dangerous swimming 101
Zedd - If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? (Well, answer my question!)
Arrow (Okay, Felicity from Arrow!)
Chrissy Costanza (cat eyes and buttery lyrics!)
Girls (TV) (Okay, Allison Williams!)
Movies - especially when they play in the dark.
Twin Peaks (TV)
Friends (TV) (It had me at "No way are you cool enough to pull Clint"; damn straight, Chandler!)
Traveling - preferably where water is, so I can splash someone!
Star Wars trilogy - no, the other one, fella!
Alex G - far more talented than her younger brother Alex H
Cameron Crowe movies - Say Anything..., Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous
The sign 'Free Wi-Fi'.
Reenacting dance/song scenes from "Grease" with my little girl (hey! Wait till you see my 'Summer Lovin'! - don't judge)
Die Hard - 40 stories of Sheer Adventure!
Alex Goot & Friends (his enemies aren't half as talented!)
Cooking up a nice dish and sitting in the entertainment area, on a cool night, basking in it's greatness.
Inflatable kids pools full of Vodka Lime Crush.
Acidic Email from angry, over passionate teenagers after I trash something "Twilight"-related on the site. Sparkle elsewhere.
My baby girl's big, caring heart.