Art of Nothing : Movie Theater Blues


Lately, I’ve been in a film rut, what to watch, what to see, what looks good? After several trips to the movie theater, I found the answer…Nothing. And I wouldn’t exactly call myself a cynic either. At this point, I’m not even looking for great art; just some mindless entertainment would fit the bill. (The likes of which ”Iron Man 2” and ”Sex and the City 2” weren’t able to provide) At this sad state I’ve taken matters into my own hands and decided to seek comfort for my film fix, elsewhere. And that’s exactly what I’ve done. In lieu of the theater slump, I’ve started a revival of the oldies but goodies! I like to call this list:

Films to Watch When Nothing Released is Worth the Lint in Your Pockets

Dirty Violence: Need I say more than Quentin Tarantino. Check out ”Pulp Fiction” or ”Reservoir Dogs” if you’re in the mood for something nitty and gritty. If Quentin isn’t your thing (then you should be ashamed of yourself) ”American Psycho” or ”Natural Born Killers” should seal the deal.

Romance: Subgenres play an important role in this selection for us sappy romantics. If it’s comedy you want, I suggest ”When Harry Met Sally”, ”My Best Friend’s Wedding”, ”Love, Actually”, ”Four Weddings and a Funeral”, ”As Good As It Gets”, and ”It Happened One Night”. If it’s the dramatic, slit your wrists love you want, ”Dangerous Liaisons”, ”Casablanca”, ”Moulin Rougue”, and ”Atonement” all provide tears for years.

Adventure: What could be more fun than a childhood classic or dinosaurs eating people?! Have some fun with Indiana Jones, ”Star Wars”, or ”Jurassic Park”!

Drama: Time to get serious? ”Blow”, ”Punch Drunk Love”, ”The Godfather”, ”Aviator”, ”Wonder Boys”, ”Wall Street”, ”Beautiful Girls”, ”Closer” and ”The Weather Man”. All serious greatness.

Sci-Fi/Futuristic: What more do you need in life? ”Blade Runner”. ”Alien”. ”Aliens”. ”Star Trek”.

Comedy: Depending on your brand of hilarity, these selections should provide a giggle for every sense of humor. ”Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”,”Arsenic and Old Lace”, ”Dumb and Dumber”, ”Knocked Up”, ”Monty Python and the Holy Grail”, ”This is Spinal Tap”, ”But I’m a Cheerleader”, ”I Heart Huckabees” and ”Royal Tenebaums”. If none of these work for you, quicken your wit by laughing at a really bad film frame by frame with some friends. Who knows, you may end up loving the movie because of the great time you had cracking jokes at it. (Its happened to me several occasions.)

Oh the Horror: If you wish to spend the night curled up in a tight little ball with all the lights on, shaking furiously and twitching in paranoia every time you hear a peep or creak, watch: ”The Shining”, ”Halloween”, ”Rosemary’s Baby”,”The Ring” or ”Dawn of the Dead”.

Action Jackson: Watch shit explode with ”True Lies”, ”Die Hard”, and ”Mission:Impossible”.

Thriller/Suspense/Crime: So rarely is this genre perfected.These picks guarantee edge of your seat tension: ”Seven”, ”Fargo”, ”Marnie”, ”The History of Violence”, ”Collateral”, ”The Man Who Wasn’t There”.

Animated: Rather you’re feeling the need for some neato animation, a flashback from your childhood or just plain silliness; these can all provide that great warm, animated fuzzy feeling: ”Howl’s Moving Castle”, ”The Emperor’s New Groove”, ”Peter Pan”, ”Robin Hood”, ”Tiny Toons: How I Spent My Summer Vacation,” ”The Lion King”, ”Anastasia”, ”Spirited Away”, ”Who Framed Roger Rabbit”, ”The Brave Little Toaster” and of course any ”Charlie Brown” Special.

Movies I’ve Watched This Week:

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: After plowing through the books and then watching the film based on many recommendations of the adaptation, I have to say, it’s probably one of the shittiest adaptations of a book I’ve ever watched. If you love the novels, forget it even exists! And hope that David Fincher does a better job with his adaptation, like creating a story with characters instead of two hours watching guys do research. Boooo!

Sex and the City 2: New York. Abu Dhahbi. New York. There, you’ve seen the movie. No plot, no emotion and couture in the desert. There’s a difference between fun and distracting the audience from how bad the script is.

The Lion King: I’d forgotten how great this Disney feature is! It’s structured like a great drama!Hakuna Matada!

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Katie Crocker - Associate Editor
One of the longest-serving employees of the Moviehole gang, Katie's love of film, television and celebrity is clearly evident in any and each item she writes.