By Ashley Hillard
Does it really matter what the next few paragraphs say? If you lust after R Patz or Taylor Lautner (needs a curtailed epithet, quick!), then I could write just about anything… much like Bart Simpson does at the start of every episode of The Simpsons on that blackboard… and it wouldn’t keep you from waiting in a tent (I mean, seriously guys!? A Tent!?) for hours outside of your local theater.
This review then, is for those who don’t bow at the temple of Stephenie Meyer and are simply wondering whether “The Twilight Saga : Eclipse” is worth wasting a couple of hours on this weekend.
It’s better than the last two, I’ll say that.
In Stephenie Meyer’s latest screen adaptation of her bestselling books chronicling a forbidden vampire-mortal love (how can they really end happily for anyone? Seriously!?), Edward and Bella are faced with graduation, engagement, werewolf fury and an army of thirsty “baby” vampires that threaten their lives.
With a bigger budget (Summit can afford it – the last two films in the series produced more mint than a candy factory!) comes better visual effects, but sadly, the CGI werewolves still look bad. Real bad. Better though is the direction – David Slade (“30 Days of Night”) does a nice job with a script penned by ‘’Dexter” writer Melissa Rosenberg. Meyer was reportedly on set to oversee the story so that TwiHards would not be disappointed – and they definitely won’t be, it’s exactly what they want. I imagine.
In addition to a more proficient sense of direction, the film’s action sequences are far more gripping this time around. Some of the scenes, in fact, are quite intense.
Also good – the witty moments of dialogue where the characters are more self aware; Stewart – less breathy/fidgety this time, and gives a performance that makes her more sympathetic and seemingly stronger.
The overly melodramatic tone that’s inherent with this series remains though (and I don’t think it’s going anywhere fast) as Bella and Edward continue their romance, though give the audience little to go off of as far as why they love each other. Why does this girl like this guy!? Does he have anything to offer but continuous hickies!?
As I said, it’s an entertaining flick – though one that’s only going to appeal to fans of the series.
Team Jacob fans will love it that Lautner spends half the film topless.
Team Edward fans will love that Pattinson – who we know can act after seeing his bravura turn in “Remember Me” earlier this year – shows a little more color (bad choice of word) as the sullen vampire.
Other familiar faces that return are Bella’s friend Jessica (”Up In The Air”’s Anna Kendrick), Bella’s caring father Charlie Swan (Billy Burke), Edward’s family members Alice Cullen (Ashley Greene), Jasper Hale (Jackson Rathbone), Emmet Cullen (Kellan Lutz) and my favorite character of the bunch, Dr. Carlisle Cullen (Peter Facinelli).
My favourite sequences in the film were the flashbacks to the Cullens’ and werewolves’ origin stories, shedding some light on the characters back-stories and breaking up the theatrical monotony of the focus on Bella and Edward.
Fans of the books won’t be disappointed – this is the “Eclipse” they want. As a whole, the film isn’t bad, all the right elements are there, it just isn’t very compelling for an outsider.
Same bag as the previous ”Twilight” DVDs, couple of commentaries, extensive sectioned-off featurette, deleted and extended scenes, music videos, and photos. Fans will have no complaints.
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Against the Current - the band, not adventures in dangerous swimming 101
Zedd - If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? (Well, answer my question!)
Arrow (Okay, Felicity from Arrow!)
Chrissy Costanza (cat eyes and buttery lyrics!)
Girls (TV) (Okay, Allison Williams!)
Movies - especially when they play in the dark.
Twin Peaks (TV)
Friends (TV) (It had me at "No way are you cool enough to pull Clint"; damn straight, Chandler!)
Traveling - preferably where water is, so I can splash someone!
Star Wars trilogy - no, the other one, fella!
Alex G - far more talented than her younger brother Alex H
Cameron Crowe movies - Say Anything..., Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous
The sign 'Free Wi-Fi'.
Reenacting dance/song scenes from "Grease" with my little girl (hey! Wait till you see my 'Summer Lovin'! - don't judge)
Die Hard - 40 stories of Sheer Adventure!
Alex Goot & Friends (his enemies aren't half as talented!)
Cooking up a nice dish and sitting in the entertainment area, on a cool night, basking in it's greatness.
Inflatable kids pools full of Vodka Lime Crush.
Acidic Email from angry, over passionate teenagers after I trash something "Twilight"-related on the site. Sparkle elsewhere.
My baby girl's big, caring heart.