Movie News

The Cynical Optimist : An Open Letter to Peter Vincent

The Cynical Optimist : An Open Letter to Peter Vincent

Dear Peter Vincent,

I’m sure you remember the time you told a young Charley Brewster, “Apparently your generation doesn’t want to see vampire killers anymore, nor vampires either. All they want to see are slashers running around in ski masks, hacking up young virgins.”

In 1985, that statement was gospel. The monsters of old – the vampires and werewolves and mad scientists – were replaced with slashers like Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers.

In the ’90s, those classic monsters were dusted off and re-packaged in big budget Hollywood films like Francis Ford Coppola’s Dracula and Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. Films like Interview with the Vampire kept Gothic horror alive after audiences grew tired of being bombarded with slasher films.

In 2010, however, the current generation is absolutely obsessed with vampire killers and vampires – and yet, I wonder if you would be thrilled by that fact, or disgusted. A show like ”Fright Night” would probably get lost in the mix between ”Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, ”True Blood”, ”Twilight”, ”Vampire Diaries”, ”The Gates”, ”Let The Right One In”, ”30 Days of Night” — I could literally go on for pages just listing films and television shows about vampires, Mr. Vincent.

I suppose in the late ’90s and early 2000s there was a Zombie boom – films like ”28 Days Later” and Zack Snyder’s remake of ”Dawn of the Dead” paved the way for new films about the undead, but this whole vampire craze is getting out of hand. In fact, it’s about time a vampire killer (such as yourself) came to save us from this plague upon pop culture.

Mr. Vincent, If you receive this letter, please take my offer into serious consideration. These new guys – the Edwards and Damons of this world – are nothing compared to Jerry Dandridge. They should be of little challenge, then again, they don’t exhibit the characteristics of the vampire you’ve come to know and hunt and slay.

These vampires walk in sunlight, in fact, their skin sparkles. They’re unmoved by garlic or a crucifix – they often cast shadows and mirrors catch their reflection, which makes them rather hard to track down. Some of them don’t even hunt humans or drink blood – and yet there is a generation fascinated with these watered-down pathetic creatures.

I’ve got a $500 bank bond I would gladly give you in exchange for your services. Please, Mr. Vincent, I’m begging you…

Adam

Share this story!Share on FacebookShare on TumblrShare on StumbleUponTweet about this on TwitterEmail this to someoneShare on Google+Pin on PinterestDigg thisBuffer this pagePrint this pageShare on LinkedIn
(Visited 1 times, 1 visits today)
Click to add a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment Login

Leave a Reply

Movie News

More in Movie News

Wes Craven attends Magnolia Pictures' Los Angeles Premiere of "Life Itself" at the ArcLight Hollywood on Thursday, June 26, 2014 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Todd Williamson/Invision for Magnolia/AP Images)

Wes Craven (1939 – 2015)

Editorial StaffAug 31, 2015
downton-abbey-season-6-edit-mary-crawley

Teaser Trailer: Downton Abbey season six

AshAug 31, 2015
chris-Messina

Chris Messina joins Ben Affleck crime drama

AshAug 29, 2015
ryan-simpkins

Ryan Simpkins moves into Will Ferrell & Amy Poehler’s House

AshAug 29, 2015
borderlands

Video game Borderlands gets silver screen treatment

AshAug 29, 2015
stevenpasquale

Rescue Me alum in Doubt

ClintAug 29, 2015
franensteincode

Fox’s Frankenstein Code undergoes a name change!

Brooke CampbellAug 29, 2015
armiehammer

Armie Hammer coupled with Amy Adams for Nocturnal Animals

Brooke CampbellAug 29, 2015
OH HEAVENLY DOG, from left: Chevy Chase, Jane Seymour, Benji the dog, 1980, TM & Copyright ©20th Century Fox Film Corp. All rights reserved.

Chevy Chase & Benji classic being remade

Brooke CampbellAug 29, 2015