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Update! Caffeinated Clint : Lone Star Dead

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Update! : Fox has confirmed they’re dumping the show. Fucking sucks!

You want to continue watching shows about uninteresting people dropping pounds!?

You want to see whether a celeb can rub two sticks together and make a fire!?

Want to continue the ultimate noggin-switch-off that “Two-and-a-Half-Men” enables one to do?

Keen for more Snookie!? (No, that apparently isn’t some new sexual position; it’s a wild gal on a reality series that the kids are going crazy for… for some reason).

Well presto – you got your wish!

After last night’s disastrous ratings for – what’s undoubtedly one of the best pilots of the season – “Lone Star”, free-to-air networks won’t be taking chances on any shows that aren’t cookie-cutter slop from here on out. The End. Roll on the reality and laugh-track…

It seems nobody is much interested in watching a well-written, compelling series that doesn’t end with someone being voted off an island, Bret Michaels or pogo stick (could’ve sworn I saw something on E! pertaining to such a show). And last night’s numbers for “Lone Star”, a terrific new series about a conman juggling two separate lives/women, is evidence.

“No one in TV should be happy about this,” one agent who reps a writer on “Star”, tells THR. “This is going to have a chilling effect on networks taking chances on anything but cookie-cutter shows.”

It might sound like a lot, but “Lone Star” had 4.1 million viewers. That’s nothing. That’s shit. The lead-in was “House” and even it had 68% more viewers.

What did everyone watch instead? A Reality series (“Dancing with the Stars”) or Sitcom (“Two-and-a-Half-Men”) of course.

Why? Shit, I dunno.

Is it because a show like “Lone Star” wouldn’t appeal to TVs biggest demographic, teenagers and twenty-somethings? Too old?

Are esteemed actors like Jon Voight not the magnet they use to be? They got no pull now?

Do audiences intentionally stay away from anything us toffee-nosed critics say is ‘shit hot’? (Which, by the way, we did. Near every critic gave it a rave review).

Some say “Lone Star” was ‘too original’. People liked to know what they’re getting. They like ‘the same old’. I don’t doubt that.

Others say the series lead, James Wolk, wasn’t enough of a drawcard – despite already being tagged ‘the next Clooney’?

Maybe it’s the Texas setting? We know “Friday Night Lights” doesn’t rate (another show I love). Could shows set ‘out in the west’ be off-putting to viewers? They want city-set shows?

Maybe what the character is “all about” on the show doesn’t sit well with some? (Cos Charlie Sheen’s character on “Two-and-a-Half Men” has high morals!)

Did people expect to see Kris Kristofferson? (Joke only a few of you will get).

Insiders now predict that “Lone Star” will be taken off the air – and as soon as next week.

That old saying, “It’s out with the old and with the new” just got expunged from Google’s Cache. Weird.

Thank God someone’s still watching “Parenthood”.

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About Caffeinated Clint

Clint is the creator, editor and maintainer of Moviehole.

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