Why Girls like Vampire Diaries and Guys Don’t


Q: Why don’t you watch The Vampire Diaries?

A: Because I’m an adult male

So vampires can rip the heart out of someone’s chest (and on ”Vampire Diaries”, frequently do), and you’d think guys would enjoy that, but generally speaking, this is a show that has a loyal fan base of …mostly females. So there’s a smoking hot young female cast, hearts being ripped out of chests, vampire warriors, werewolves and witches, and yet they stay away like a ”Sex and the City” sequel.

Please find below five potential reasons why guys aren’t tuning into this show:

Male vampires are usually loners, and one of ‘those guys’. He has looks, money, the body, eternal youth, and every girl wants him. Essentially, vampires are tall poppies, someone of (usually genetic) merit who is resented because their talents or achievements (or looks) elevate them above or distinguish them from their peers.

Reason #1 No one likes a tall poppy (especially in Australia)

Vampires talk about their feelings. To people they have feelings for. And to friends. And experience these feelings intently. This can be dull, and also emasculating.

Vampire talking about his girlfriend to a friend: Elena is… Elena’s warm. And she’s… she’s kind and she’s caring and she’s selfless… and it’s real. And… honestly, when I’m around her… I completely forget what I am.

Normal guy talking about his girlfriend to a friend: Yeah…she’s cool.

Reason #2 Not relatable

It has “Diary” in the title, commonly associated with ”The Princess Diaries”, and ”The Nanny Diaries”. Sure Anne Hathaway and Scarlett Johansson have many male fans, but the amount of men going to see these films, however, was probably also pretty low.

Reason #3: Diaries aren’t manly

At the centre of the story is an ongoing love triangle between two brothers and a teenage girl. Perhaps guys don’t like the resolution to take multiple seasons (depending on ratings) when really the answer should be resolved immediately.

Reason #4 Bros before hoes

”The Vampire Diaries” is not the only show on the vampire block (you may have heard of’ ”Twilight” and ”True Blood”) and let’s be honest, if you were a guy and you had to watch a vampire show, you’re probably going to watch the adult version of vampire romance, not the high school version.

Reason #5 More skin in True Blood

This is shame because ”The Vampire Diaries” is a fast moving, slick looking show that will keep you on the edge of your seat. What may take a season to unfold on some shows (“The X-Files”) will be resolved before the second ad break, yet they haven’t burnt out yet and still manage to keep it fresh and interesting.

They also have ads telling people to Catch VD. That’s hot. Right?