Ask Clint, May 6


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Ask Clint replaces the section previously known as ‘Moviehole Mailbag‘ (and frequented by the ever-popular ‘Holden’; we hope – or do we? – he makes a return appearance here).

Instead of just offering up huffy-nostriled smart-arse answers, I’ll try and actually come up with some sort of half-intelligent retort or answer for you. Try and stay on the topic of film and entertainment please but if you must, I will accept the odd question regarding hard-to-move grime from shower screens.

Some of the mail I’ve received over the past week.

so if Scott Adkins is the hero of “Universal Soldier 4”, then where does Van Damme fit in?

You’ve probably heard in recent times that Jean-Claude is now willing to play villains, right? (Villains that haven’t a good twin) And when it comes to Universal Soldiers, you know that they can be pretty much programmed to do whatever the corrupt owners require of it, right? And as you can imagine, the UniSol’s don’t have much of a say when they’re asked to say murder someone’s family.

“Universal Soldier : Next Dimension” or whatever… it’s basically “TimeCop”?’

It’s true that they both have time-traveling elements but I’d say “US4” is much closer in tone to say, “Source Code” or “The Jacket” than a straight-up zapped-through-time movie. It’s actually a pretty clever libretto they’re working from.

Hey guys,
Know anything about the other “Snow White” movie? The one with Julia Roberts?

Not a lot, though I do know it’s much, much lighter than the other umpteen “Snow White” projects in development – namely, “Snow White and the Huntsman”. Julia Roberts’ evil Queen character will be providing many of the laughs – she’s broke, you see, so she’s trying to think of things she can pawn off (like livestock and her dresses). Things just get progressively worse for her, particularly as Snow White inches closer to re-inheriting the kingdom, so ‘happy place, happy place, happy place’ becomes the Queen’s oft-repeated mantra. As for Snow White, she goes from forlorn damsel to a bit of an ass-kicking Charlie’s Angel-type and the Dwarfs? Chimneys, in that they’re a packet-a-day smokers. I think it’ll be fun – and different enough to the other “Snow White” films that it won’t feel like we’ve seen it before.

Good work on all the “American Pie 4” scoops of late – anything else you can tell us, without being too much of a spoiler whore?

Spoiler whore? Are my initials JS? Never mind.. here’s one bit : When we meet Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) again – at the reunion – he’s just returned from an eventful trip around the world; he got into “some troubles” in Beijing, moved to Dubai (and became a Baccarat champion), and for the past couple of years has served as an official tribesman for an African tribe -with no contact with the outside world.

so Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) is only in “AP4” for a cameo?
Chris Leane

No, far from a cameo – in fact they’ve just added more scenes for her (we’re probably waiting to see how long they’d have Hannigan for before deciding how much of Michelle to have in the film). Michelle’s not feeling very sexy in this one – she’s a mother now, and Jim, the scoundrel, is off giving the young neighbour the cheeky wink – so she’s on a mission to Get her Groove Back. Like Stella. Oh, and yes… she does tell a few “One time at Band Camp…” stories.

I don’t know why you keep referring to “Breaking Dawn” as the final Twilight movie. Despite us all, you just know they’re going to do more of that shit.
Daniel Creighton

We refer to “Breaking Dawn” as the final “Twilight” movie because, quite simply, it is the last “Twilight” movie – at least as far as Stephenie Meyer’s literary series goes. Will there be “Twilight”-related movies after “Breaking Dawn”? Hell, I don’t know….Quite possibly… you can imagine the studio will want to keep it going.. somehow. I’ve heard rumours – one of them, concerning a “The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner” film (based on the vampire youngling character played by in “Eclipse”), seems to be gathering steam – but again, nothing definite until Summit writes Meyer another cheque.

Hey Clint,
Love the site. Always have. And it rocks. Holden returns! LOL Hey Isaac Florentine, that did Undisputed 2 and 3 and 4, is he doing another more?

If he wants to eat, yep; he’s actually in pre-production on another film with his go-to guy Scott Adkins (the “Undisputed” sequels, “Ninja”) called “Blood Hostage”, it’s shooting in Israel in September.

Hey Clint, Alicia…
What’s that drug-addicted, wife-beating c*nt Tom Sizemore doing now? Dude should have had his cock biten off by Heidie Fleiss and flushed down toilet along with his career and that shit red planet movie dvd.
Linklater’s Juice

Linklater’s Juice (!)
Um, we seem to attract all sorts here, don’t we? Quite frankly, I don’t know whether to answer your question OR ask you ‘what’s with that fucking name, man!?’ Secondly, why do you want to know about the future endeavours of an actor you so clearly despise? Does Tom owe you money or something? For what it’s worth, Tom (who, despite his rough history, I think is a brilliant, brilliant actor) is doing great guns; heck, might even go so far as to say he’s on the comeback trail. He’s starring opposite Ethan Hawke in one of the most buzzed about new TV shows of the year, “Exit Strategy”, and film wise, he’s gearing up to star in a new film actor Thomas Jane (“The Punisher”) is directing called “An Honest Thief”. Jane’s also committed to a spy film called “Vauxhall Crossed” with Tanit Phoenix, The Frank Darabont written “Fahrenheit 451” and “Snuff”, based on the racy novel of the same name. Do you feel even angrier now, Linklater’s Juice? Or just… Dazed and Confused?

STALLONE’s new movie HEADSHOT is gonna kick-ass! Very cool concept and storyline! Agree?
Michael Leech

Ya know, I’m not entirely sold yet. From the outset, any film co-starring Thomas Jane doesn’t yell ‘big-screen blockbuster’ to me (well, it has been a few years between drinks for TJ) but Walter Hill’s appointment as director is kinda exciting. The storyline itself – cop and hitman teaming up to catch a common enemy – is, contrary to it being ‘very cool’, ripped straight from the Orion vaults though… “Best Seller” ring a bell?. Was a terrific little thriller, released in 1987, with Brian Dennehy as the cop and James Woods as the killer.
This might refresh your memory :

There’s this movie that I kinda remember bits of but I can’t for life of me think what it was called. It was about a captured friend and they go out after him. It was set in Colombia and I think it had Robert Duval in it.
Ray Base

Sounds like you’re thinking of “Let’s Get Harry”. Mark Harmon was the American engineer kidnapped by Colombians, and Duvall (two L’s) played the Chuck Norris type, leading a group of the kidnapped man’s friends and family – Gary Busey was one – on a rescue mission. There was talk of a remake a few years ago; I dropped the then-attached producer of the redo a line to see if it’s still happening but have yet to hear back.

don’t know if you heard but Jackie Cooper died today (5/5)

Yeah I did hear, and I really should type up a piece on his sad passing. Loved Jackie Cooper. To most of us he was and will always be Perry White from the “Superman” movies (“Now look. The Post: “It Flies!” The News: “Look, Ma, No Wires!” The Times: “Blue Bomb Buzzes Metropolis!” The Planet. We’re sitting on top of the story of the century here! I want the name of this flying whatchamacallit to go with the Daily Planet like bacon and eggs, franks and beans, death and taxes, politics and corruption!”) but he was also known for his varied TV work (“The People’s Choice”, “Hennesey”, “Police Story”) and flicks like “Journey into Fear” (1975) and “Surrender” (1987) – which reunited him with ‘Clark’ himself, Christopher Reeve. Great, great actor. Dare say they’ll never be a Perry White as good in our lifetime.