By Phil Weidner
I just can’t bring myself to hate Paul W.S. Anderson films.
I don’t love them in the same way I love ‘classics’ like say ”Roadhouse”, ”Kick Boxer” or ”Highlander”.
But I don’t hate them either.
I think it’s cause they never try to take themselves to seriously. Unlike Uwe Boll – I think Anderson’s films, as a whole, come across as unpretentious good old fashioned no-brain action movies.
”Three Musketeers” is like that. A level PG sexy and action adventure with a weak script.
Encompassing an all-star cast (including, of course, Anderson’s real-life missus Milla Jovovich), the Alex Litvak and Andrew Davies scripted “Muskeeters” sees the plucky juvenile D’Artagnan (Logan Lerman, at one stage one of the contenders for the titular web-shooter in the “Amazing Spider-Man”) teaming with the titular trio (Matthew Macfadyen, Luke Evans and Ray Stevenson) in an effort to stop the evil Richlieu (an aptly-cast Christoph Waltz). Orlando ‘here only to put bums on seats’ Bloom plays Musketeer-opponent Buckingham, while the aforesaid Jovovich is the treacherous Milady.
I guess you’d say the latest take on Dumas’ classic ”The Three Musketeers” is a swashbuckler with a hint of steampunk.
3D swords, beautiful scenery, fun steampunk gadgets, bullet time battles, and Milla Jovovich’s endless array of corsets make this by the numbers action adventure fun to watch.
Although the dialogue and acting may be a little one-dimensional for adults to really enjoy, an abundance of action sequences and pretty cinematography make it a good one for the kids.
However, the numerous heist scenes and even a battle between two airship galleons seem simple rather than suspenseful.
Which may be a problem for some?
However, if you’re familiar with the rest of Paul W.S. Anderson’s work – including the ”Resident Evil” and ”Mortal Kombat” films – then the lack of character and story depth really won’t be much of a surprise.
In fact, elements of Dumas’ story and each of the famous characters are there. Porthos, Athos, Aramis and D’Artagnan joke their way from fight to fight out of loyalty to the King, while Machiavellian Richelieu attempts to use his agents – the sexy Milady and sinister Rochefort – to disgrace the Queen, take France to war, and seize power for himself.
Never trying to take itself too seriously, ”The Three Musketeers” is light, easy and action packed. It was a fun two hour movie for an adult, and could be forty hours of DVD re-watches for the kids.
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Against the Current - the band, not adventures in dangerous swimming 101
Zedd - If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? (Well, answer my question!)
Arrow (Okay, Felicity from Arrow!)
Chrissy Costanza (cat eyes and buttery lyrics!)
Girls (TV) (Okay, Allison Williams!)
Movies - especially when they play in the dark.
Twin Peaks (TV)
Friends (TV) (It had me at "No way are you cool enough to pull Clint"; damn straight, Chandler!)
Traveling - preferably where water is, so I can splash someone!
Star Wars trilogy - no, the other one, fella!
Alex G - far more talented than her younger brother Alex H
Cameron Crowe movies - Say Anything..., Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous
The sign 'Free Wi-Fi'.
Reenacting dance/song scenes from "Grease" with my little girl (hey! Wait till you see my 'Summer Lovin'! - don't judge)
Die Hard - 40 stories of Sheer Adventure!
Alex Goot & Friends (his enemies aren't half as talented!)
Cooking up a nice dish and sitting in the entertainment area, on a cool night, basking in it's greatness.
Inflatable kids pools full of Vodka Lime Crush.
Acidic Email from angry, over passionate teenagers after I trash something "Twilight"-related on the site. Sparkle elsewhere.
My baby girl's big, caring heart.