If you hear a strange sound outside… have sex.
“Cabin in the Woods.” Think “Evil Dead” meets “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” meets, well… to say anything else would be a crime, and I do mean that in the literal sense of the word. Joss Whedon would have me sentenced to a torturous (yet inspired) death were I to spoil any of the fun awaiting you. Well, I will say this… a girl makes out with a wolf, so there’s that.
Written by Whedon (“The Avengers”) and Drew Goddard (“Cloverfield), who also makes his directorial debut, “Cabin in the Woods” is the ULTIMATE horror film. And when I say ULTIMATE I mean the true definition of the word, as in ‘what comes after penultimate,” as in FINAL.
That’s it folks, we’re all done here. It was a good while it lasted. Why bother making a horror flick after this one? Whedon and Goddard have given birth to a subversive, spirited deconstruction of the genre that will leave audiences exhausted from bouts of laughter and fits of terror.
The plot, or at least what I’ll reveal to you, is archetypal: five friends visit a remote cabin in the woods, where they get more than they bargained for.
There’s the jock, the slut, the nerd, the virgin, the stoner – all your old pals are there, and they’re in for some serious shit. For people like myself who have a deep and abiding passion for horror films, “Cabin in the Woods” is something of a masterwork – a holy text of horror. It’s bad-ass, plain and simple.
During the Q&A after the screening, Whedon and Goddard were asked how they could expect us NOT to talk about such a fucking awesome movie, to which Whedon replied: “Awesome is good! Timeless classic also works.”
So there you have it. “Cabin in the Woods” is an awesome, side-splitting, blood-splattered classic – a movie that will go on to be appreciated at Midnight screenings by movie nerds for years to come.
If you enjoyed films like “Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil” and “Grindhouse,” you’re going to LOVE this.
As the opening film of the SXSW film festival, “Cabin in the Woods” completely redeemed a day spent trudging through torrential rain and freezing my ass off in one long line after another. I can’t wait to see it again and pick out all the subtle touches and obscure references I missed the first time around.
Bottom Line: Go see this movie in theaters, preferably a late showing on opening night with a packed house of bloodthirsty horror enthusiasts!