Look out Olympics! Battle Royale coming to TV!?


Cross that multiplex bosses can now dry-hump bags of paper-cutting cash before using the notes to wipe their nose (or something else), something those at most nets have hankered to do again since the golden days of “Seinfeld”, the Television Networks are looking for their own small-screen answer to cash-cow kid-killer film franchise “The Hunger Games”.

And they’ve found it in “Junior Masterchef”.

No. That doesn’t sound right.

I’ll try again.

The CW thinks they might have lucked upon a gold-mine of an idea – turn Japanese kid v. kid flick “Battle Royale” into a small screen series.
Perfect, actually, considering “Royale” is seen as not only a precursor to the “Hunger Games” novels and subsequent films, but an unashamed inspiration for them.

The film, released alongside such other greats as “The Ladies Man” and “Digimon : The Movie” in the year 2000, told of a group of Japanese students who are forced to fight to the death (as opposed to swapping lunches if one student loses a game of handball or hopscotch, which was what happened in my school. One day I shall my revenge, nobody takes my YoGo and swaps it for a lettuce roll, nobody!). And it was violent. Bloody violent.

The L.A Times says there’s no deal in place for a “Battle Royale” TV series yet, but with the property fairly easy to acquire and, more so, Sarah Michelle Gellar’s current career idleness, you can pretty much guarantee it’ll happen if the network wants it to.

What I haven’t mentioned yet is the viability of such a show. Ya see, being on the CW the small-screen “Battle Royale” will likely only be able to play out as violently as episode of “Hangin’ with Mr Cooper”. But hey, if they replace the fighting with some good pop tunes and have Blake Lively pop in for a three-episode arc to play the Swedish exchange student who is good with knives, it’s sure to be just as entertaining as the film.