Universal planning another American Pie?


Universal might be about to stick their schlong in the sweets, again.

In an article blowing the trumpet for all the big Summer success stories of 2012, THR mentions that Universal will likely announce sequel plans for “American Reunion” soon.

Like “Snow White and the Huntsman” and “Ted”, the tardy “American Pie” sequel was one of the studio’s biggest hits of the Season. Naturally, they’ll want to head back to East Great Falls High again.

And soon. I’m guessing. If only because the suits will be sweating just how ‘crusty’ (wrong word; where’s my Thesaurus..? Flintstone!!) the cast might get if they hold off a couple more years. Though worst case scenario, they just bring Eugene Levy back and make it in 15 years – because he doesn’t age.

No idea on what an “American Reunion” sequel might be, but one idea would be to have Jim and Michelle take over a Band Camp somewhere, where their offspring gets the chance to show off his skills in a crowd-filled auditorium full of chicken-fillet donning 8-year-olds. Potential title? “American Bandstand”.
Or shit! Listen… just have Jim continue on his plight to have sexy college chicks ditch their tops in his car, and call it.. “American Gigolo”.
Or maybe there’s a new love interest introduced into the fold for Stifler, a transsexual tattooist who gives ol’ Steve a run for his money… “American Graffiti”, anyone!?

Whatever they do, I think it’s fairy vital they retain the services of writer/director’s Jon Hurtwitz and Hayden Schlossberg, whose cinnamon sauce really gave that last “Pie” flick taste. “Reunion” was undoubtedly the best installment in the long-running franchise since the original. I cried twice, I think – once during the moment that Jason Biggs’s pecker was spotted through the clear bit of pottery.

I’m also hearing that Universal’s home entertainment department might be looking to continue their series of “American Pie Presents…” series of direct-to-video spin’-off’s – ya know, “Band Camp”, “Naked Mile”, “Beta House”, “Pecker in a Pot” and so on? – so chances are there might be some kind of healthy compete between the new big-screen “Pie” flick and a new DTV “Pie” spin-off. May the winner get to pin a ribbon on Ali Cobrin.