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About these Angelina Jolie starring in, directing 50 Shades of Grey rumours

Online reports suggest Jolie is starring as Anastasia Steele in the movie

Who would be the perfect Anastasia Steele in the upcoming feature version of “50 Shades of Grey”?

Further more, who better to direct the many acrobatic tricks Steele performs in said movie?

I’d give the same answer – if it were 2002.

If we were having a dinner conversation in 2002 about who should play the college-aged recruit at the nymphet academy I’d have said, without chewing my food first because it would be such an instant response, Angelina Jolie. At the time, Jolie could have easily passed for college-aged (well, with the help of Revlon) and more so, I’m thinking she wouldn’t have had to do as much research int the world of dirty sex, sodomy, and leather-studded outfits as another actress would.

But with Jolie now pushing 40, and Steele said to be a Clearasil commercial ready 21-year-old in the book, I don’t think anyone in their sane mind would – and I wish I could find a better word here – swallow it.

Which makes this rampant online rumour, popping up in such places as here and here, a little laughable.

Those quoted say Jolie has been spotted reading the book on the set of her new film “Maleficent” which, of course, means she’s playing Anastasia – at least in the world of tabloid journalism. But if that were the case, and If I wasn’t in the habit of closing my blinds back home in Hoppers Crossing, then one might say I too were once in the mix to play the part.

If Jolie was reading the book on the set of her new film, it’s because she’s either a) interested in knowing what all the fuss is about or b) interested in directing the project; considering it’s already out there that the “Tomb Raider” actress wants to helm the movie, I’d say that’s more likely than the ‘playing Anastasia’ rumour.

Emma Watson of “Harry Potter” fame has also been linked to the role; more appropriate a choice I think (and she did spend quite a bit of time around Harry Potter’s wand, so would likely know what she’s doing).

While there’s been no names mentioned in relation to the Christian Gray role, online reports suggest Ian Somerhalder (“The Vampire Diaries”) and former Batman Christian Bale are fan favourites to play the cocksure man-whore. I also think – and especially if photos do surface of me reading the book, ultimately resulting in myself being pegged to play Anastasia – that Clint Morris should be in the mix too, though he did earlier tell me that he has a “no bot-bot exposed on screen” clause in his contracts, so they mightn’t be too keen on that since the movie will all about exposed bot-bots.

I will check out “Where Did I Come From?” at my local library today just in case I get the call, too.

In all seriousness, I don’t mind the idea of teaming Christian Bale with Emma Watson – they would make for a perfectly surprising, hot couple (both British too! And we all know fireworks erupt when two Brit’s get together on screen!)

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