I wasn’t one of them (being too young) but those that walked out on “RoboCop 3″ all those years ago (1993?) after catching the lead character do some kid-friendly superheroish things that saw the once-intelligent franchise turn into a cinematic cartoon, might want to sit down for this news.
It ain’t good.
According to Drew McWeeny of HitFix, the remake of Paul Verhoeven’s film – starring “The Killing”‘s Joel Kinnaman in the title part – includes elements that one might say are just as preposterous.
The script for the film, to be directed by Jose Padhila, apparently sees RoboCop going the way of Optimus Prime – yep, transforming. And worse, numerous times.
*** SPOILER ALERT ***
Here’s a summary of McWeeny’s quotes on the script, thanks to Comic Book Movie :
In the film, when Murphy is turned into Robocop 1.0, it’s described “a high-tech version of the ’80s suit.” Then they show a focus group scene where criminals laugh at the design. “He looks like a toy from the ’80s!” So they redesign him to look “meaner” as Robocop 2.0, who passes focus group approval. So they not only make sure to include the original design, they also point out it’s dated and stupid.
Hold onto your sides for more hilarious “Robocop” details. They outsource his construction to China. #seriously
And we meet the ED-209s in the field in Iran, where they’re used to subdue suicide bombers.
Ahhh… now they just dropped Robocop 3.0 onto an Al Queda training camp to see what he does. “He should be programmed to incapacitate in all scenarios.” “Agreed. Let’s keep him PG-13, Dr. Norton.” No. No. No. No.
By page 54, they are already onto Robocop 4.0, who looks like a “cop on steroids painted metallic blue.” Oh, god… oh dear god… Robocop is a Transformer. He goes from “social mode” to “combat mode” and back. Full transformation.
It’s tough to determine tone on the page, but “satire” seems low on their list of priorities.
Okay… the two “best” lines in the script. First up is at the unveiling ceremony for Robocop in Detroit, from a TV reporter covering it. “I think it’s safe to say that Alex Murphy is now part man, part machine, ALL COP!” Yes, I too remember the original poster, asshat.
Second, after the traumatic first meeting with his father, Alex’s son retreats to the apartment of Lewis, Murphy’s male partner. The scene ends with the action line “David sits, catatonic, looks at the TV — MGM REMAKE TBD.” It means “to be determined.” They haven’t decided which of their other movies to plug with that clip.
Someone shows Pope, head of the OCP project, some mock-ups for Robocop action figures. “Are you kidding? I wouldn’t buy that for a dollar!”
I’ll say this: once the script stops all the winky-winky crap and just starts telling a story, it’s not terrible. But it’s way too late.If you can get past Robocop The Transformer, there are some interesting action beats. And I’m sure Padilha will direct the hell out of it.
Oh. Wow. So is it too late for Joel Kinnaman to save himself? And further, is Robert J.Burke still going to be fit into the suit?
- People Like Us / Now is Good - April 30, 2013
- Celeste & Jesse Forever/Won’t Back Down - April 30, 2013
- Warm Bodies - April 6, 2013
- Pitch Perfect - April 3, 2013
- Jurassic Park 3D - March 20, 2013
- Smash : Season One - November 18, 2012
- Lola Versus - November 18, 2012
- Friends with Kids - November 18, 2012
- The Twilight Saga : Breaking Dawn Part 2 - November 12, 2012
- Nitro Circus: The Movie 3D - November 8, 2012