Well, one has to eat.

Unprepared to lick the plates clean in the Subway kitchen, the soon-to-be unemployed Kate Walsh, star of the recently cancelled “Private Practice”, has signed up to play a role in… “Scary Movie 5″.

Heather Locklear, whose also relatively short of work these days (following the premature axing of guilty-pleasure “Melrose Place” 2.0), is also onboard, according to Deadline.

Walsh, who played McDreamy’s ex-Mrs on “Private Practice (and before that, “Grey’s Anatomy”), apparently only has a cameo in the film. But cameos pay – sometimes cash-in-hand (ask Sean Connery, who is still laughing all the way to the bank for doing the guest ‘hello!’ in “Memories of Me” back in the ’80s).

“Scary Movie 5″ is essentially a spoof of one of today’s finest horror movies…. er, um, “Black Swan”.

Locklear is playing the mother of a ballet dancer, played by Ashley Tisdale. So, in other words, the former “Spin City” sexpot is channeling Barbara Hershey’s role from the Aronofsky movie.

Molly Shannon is in the movie too – she’s playing the Winona Ryder character from “Black Swan”.

Charlie Sheen and Linsday Lohan play the opening ‘kills’ of the movie.

Malcolm Lee, of “Undercover Brother” fame, is directing – he’s a fun filmmaker, knows what makes a good gag, but this is “Scary Movie 5″… not “Bridesmaids”, so I won’t be lining up outside Mann’s to see it.