If you’re only just dry from the in-theater orgasm “G.I Jane” gave us all a decade or so back, there’s bad new s: “G.I Joe : Retaliation” might just have you yelping to an usher for a mop-and-bucket again!

Forgetting the thing has a plot, a barrage of special effects, and likely, big-ass guns, this is a film encrusted with candy – candy of the eye variety. For us lads, there’s Adrianne Palicki, in skimpy war gear; for you ladies, there’s a Rock, a Bruce, and a, erm, Channing.

In 2013, we’ll all be up for a cup of Joe.

Here lies the new trailer.