A short opening sequence involving 6 bowling pins falling towards the polished floor of a lane isn’t, unfortunately, symbolic of what’s ahead in “Rapture-Palooza” – unless, of course, the pre-credits bowling score is suggestive of director Paul Middleditch striking out big time!
The latest in a string of end-of-times flicks – a roster that also includes flashier, more expensive studio fare like “This is the End” and “World War Z” – “Rapture-Palooza” takes a wink in the mickey urinal, satirizing the ‘Rapture’ in the same way 2010’s “Zombieland” made funny of the undead movies. Unlike Ruben Fleischer’s ingenious coffin dodgers cack, “Rapture-Palooza” doesn’t seem to have much of an idea how a good lampooning works.
A religious apocalypse has hit, resulting in the removal of many from Earth (relocated to Heaven), the transformation of others into hellish rogues, and quite a few who’ve simply stayed put.
Lindsey (Anna Kendrick) is one of the survivors, still on Earth – but dodging flaming boulders, blood showers and demons on a daily basis.
One thing leads to another and Lindsey catches the eye of the sleaziest scoundrel in town, also the anti-Christ (Craig Robinson), who immediately sets up a night of sex (the dude mentions his keenness to get up into the woman’s ‘vagina’ about twenty times throughout the movie; sick bucket not included in the price of admission, you may wish to bring one from home) – for them.
But, of course, when Lindsey turns up at the anti-Christ’s mansion that evening, she – and her accomplices, boyfriend Ben (John Francis Daley), his father (Rob Corddry) and others – isn’t there to cave into the bad man’s wishes, but kill him.
The always-engaging Anna Kendrick – but I gotta ask, ‘Oscar Nominated’ Anna Kendrick, what are you doing in this!?- cleans up this fairly smeared windscreen of a film with a likeable, engaging and I gotta say, sexy performance. The stout support cast, which also includes actor (and writer) John Francis Daley (“Bones”) , Tom Lennon (as a possessed neighbour with a lawn-mowing fetish), John Michael Higgins (of all the Christopher Guest flicks) and Craig Robinson (also in “This is the End”, funnily enough), also do their best to squeeze laughs out of a dried-up sponge of a comedy. Sadly, the ramshackle, unfunny script – by “Bill & Ted” alum Chris Matheson (“Bill & Ted” writer Ed Solomon serves as a producer, too) – undoes the good work of the cast.
The shoddy effects (they’re truly woeful!) suggest a budget on the lower side, but even that’s no excuse for a plot that lacks satisfying silliness, thought and smart social satire. A good screenplay can always make up for a lack of pennies.
Not the end of the world, though. These things happen… I guess it’s just…wait! What is that!? Is that a thundercloud full of red rain about to pounder down upon the weathered office, here!?*
* Sorry, that line’s about as unfunny as the ones you’ll find in the movie.
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Against the Current - the band, not adventures in dangerous swimming 101
Zedd - If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? (Well, answer my question!)
Arrow (Okay, Felicity from Arrow!)
Chrissy Costanza (cat eyes and buttery lyrics!)
Girls (TV) (Okay, Allison Williams!)
Movies - especially when they play in the dark.
Twin Peaks (TV)
Friends (TV) (It had me at "No way are you cool enough to pull Clint"; damn straight, Chandler!)
Traveling - preferably where water is, so I can splash someone!
Star Wars trilogy - no, the other one, fella!
Alex G - far more talented than her younger brother Alex H
Cameron Crowe movies - Say Anything..., Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous
The sign 'Free Wi-Fi'.
Reenacting dance/song scenes from "Grease" with my little girl (hey! Wait till you see my 'Summer Lovin'! - don't judge)
Die Hard - 40 stories of Sheer Adventure!
Alex Goot & Friends (his enemies aren't half as talented!)
Cooking up a nice dish and sitting in the entertainment area, on a cool night, basking in it's greatness.
Inflatable kids pools full of Vodka Lime Crush.
Acidic Email from angry, over passionate teenagers after I trash something "Twilight"-related on the site. Sparkle elsewhere.
My baby girl's big, caring heart.