I haven’t done one of these for about 18 months. They’re words you’ll never hear coming out of Lindsay Lohan’s mouth.
(Having said that, Linds and I do have a lot in common – we’ve both been known to wear, I buy quite a bit of Coke too, and some nights I also feel a little tender)
Mailbag is back. I know, it’s due time. And you guys have been on me for a while to do it again. But, guys, you endure what I’ve just had to go through the last 18 months, and you wouldn’t much feel like reading aloud emails that begin with “Dukes of Hazzard meets Batman in a A-Team movie. That be cool. Make it happen”. OK?
But in recent months, I’ve been told I’m back. I’m sexy back (I added that bit; modesty made me).
I’ve also been told “I’m just like the Clint of 2010!- though without the same expectations for as you once did” / “clearly not the same guy you were 6 months ago – the fact you’re shamelessly doing ‘Pink’ duets at the traffic lights, with the girl in the car next to you, is proof enough of that”/ “Strangely like Lindsay Lohan in The Parent Trap – both of ‘em”/ and “Very Sexy” (thanks).
But also, you guys keep asking for the Mailbag. And I pretty much do whatever I’m told. Which could explain why I’m currently on my knees, strapped into a rocking leather device, while my assistant whips me like Mola Ram in the Temple. Not easy to type with a stiletto on your cheek.
I’ll try and do a ‘Mailbag’ each week, depending on the amount of mail that comes in, and if you’d like to ask me something or merely send feedback – drop us a line here, or in the message section of our Facebook page. Also, I like fruit platters. And when it’s cold, I like a good warm rub on the tum-tum – like a pussy cat. Oh, and blue.. if I have to pick a colour, yes, probably blue.
Geez, we’re off to a good start here. Is that you Holden? It’s been a while man.. obviously quite a while. The answer is maybe. And blue.
What is happening with the ‘Lethal Weapon’ reboot, announced a while back? – Ryan, via Facebook
Like the Mailbag, it’s going nowhere pretty fast. But for all I know, they announce Tom Hardy and Rhianna as Riggs and Martaugh tomorrow.
Why the hate on Twilight so much? – Sharon, via Facebook
I have no words. Let my friend Kanye respond : WHO YOU MADE IT CLEAR TO ME WASN’T YOUR FAMILY WHEN I WAS ON THEN PHONE WITH YOU 5 MINUTES AGO, YOU MANIPULATIVE MEDIA MUTHERFUCKER.
So if the Mailbag is coming back, does that mean Holden is too? – Paul, via Email
How should I know? Do you think I keep him sealed in an air-tight bag, which I carry around in a suitcase? He’s not something Jim Henson studios built ya know? Guess we’ll just have to wait and see. Mahna Mahna.
You’re like this big-time celeb agent these days, looking after movie stars and things, and you still run Moviehole on the side. Why man?- Brendan, via Email
While Gotham is still overrun by scum, a positive force for the people must remain. People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy and I can’t do that as Clint of PR. As a man, I’m flesh and blood, I can be ignored, I can be destroyed; but as a symbol… as a symbol I can be incorruptible, I can be everlasting. As long as it takes. I’m gonna show the people of Gotham their city doesn’t belong to the remakes, reboots and the Weinstein family.
Think there will be a Back to the Future 4? – Loomis, via Email
The day there is, Brendan takes over the website.
Clint, you’re an amazing dude! a real inspiration – I think everyone knows what’s happened to you, and can’t believe how strong and positive you are, and got through it. That would change anyone for life. And to see you back kicking ass like this it’s cool! What’s the secret? How did you beat it all? - Adam Kazanijian, via Email
Thermal underwear – with the Hulk on them. And a really motivational music track, that I’d play every morning – it got me fuelled for the day!
What movie are you most looking forward to next year? - Leon V, via Email
Do you think “Star Wars Episode VII” will be the film to beat in 2015? – Ackbar, via Email
Depends on an “Angry Birds” sequel.
Saw your at the Smurfs . Who was the cute blonde? is that Brooke from the website? Wow! Share brother!!! – Stephen M, via Email.
That was me. I’d come fresh from auditioning as Woody Harrelson’s character n a spoof the Indiana film making community are putting together called “The Tunga Games”.
I know you’ll full up with your big companies, the PR and movie one, but is there anything at Moviehole I’d be good for? – Gabby
Full-up for the next couple of years by the looks. But there is a loophole – send seductive shots to my email inbox, coffee vouchers, and text me twenty times a night the following quote from ‘The Notebook’ : ‘Why didn’t you write me? Why? It wasn’t over for me, I waited for you for seven years. But now it’s too late’ I may feel something for you. It worked for Hugh Humphreys. It works magic on me.
What’s Nicolas Cage up to? – Sean, via Email
What? right now? I dunno, polishing his hair plugs?
I still don’t think you were very fair on “On the Road”. Kristen deserved more than those stars!! grrrrrr- Eliza, via Email
Oh hey, can you say hello to your mum for me? It’s been a while.
I wrote and asked if I could be considered for the publishing assistant gig, so I could possibly get some credits on my college degree, but didn’t hear back yet – Mich, via Facebook
Mich, sorry, I’ve been swamped scribbling down potential snarky responses to Eliza. Oh, and I have a sidekick now. And she doesn’t whip me, or make me kiss her leather boots. It’s quite a change!
The site’s down. – Greg, via Email
So was Eliza’s mother.
Will they follow-up Ocean’s Thirteen? – No Name, via Email
I hope not, I’m still struggling to track down parts 1 to 10. I’ll never catch up.
Where can I get a life like yours, where you get to meet movie stars, attend all these free movie screenings before everyone else, and live the life most only dream of and stuff? I’ve asked you this before but I guess i just need guidance or advice – Cole, via Email.
Hey Cole, long time!
Start here (below). He’s now single. And cold.
Empire Strikes Back
St. Elmo's Fire
Planes, Trains & Automobiles
The Breakfast Club