Moviehole

Caffeinated Clint

Like some whine with your Wonder Woman, dudes?

Chewbacca wouldn’t even be able to fit in the damn star-spangled undie outfit!

Further verification that most of us film loving homo-sapiens have turned into whiny snivelers – the likes of which John Hughes would never have written about and The Sandlot would’ve tossed out after the first home run – a segment of interbabies are now pissing fire on DC’s “Wonder Woman” movie…and not because they’ve already supposed it to be a dog. Nope, problem with the upcoming superhero tentpole has to do with hairy armpits, or rather the lack thereof.

With nothing better to do than yell at their mama’s for grilled cheese sandwiches from the basement computer desk, these trolling turds have surmised that Patty Jenkins’ film should sit in the naughty corner for the week after blurring out Gal Gadot’s underarm hair in the film. The Telegraph says that the controversy kicked off when viewers noticed that, in the latest trailer for the film, there’s a shot of Gadot’s armpits and they’re not only lacking any hair or stubble but the pits are also clearly more paler than the rest of her body. Apparently female underarm shaving didn’t begin until 1915 and didn’t catch on in Europe until the 1940s so Wonder Woman would be carrying a bag of fuzz where her shoulder meets her arm. But get this? It’s a MOVIE dicks and furthermore, Chewbacca wouldn’t even be able to fit in the damn star-spangled undie outfit.

Pfft. Who gives a shit? really? And ask yourself, do we honestly want to see this on screen? I’m all for women being whatever type of woman they want but let’s admit it, this has nothing to do with that… this is just an excuse to whine about something. Maybe DC fans are sick of “The Batman” delays, maybe they’re pissed “Suicide Squad” wasn’t “A Beautiful Mind”, or perhaps they’re still hurting that Marvel’s back catalog is still leaps and bounds better than DC’s cinematic universe? (until “Wonder Woman” hits that is – it’s reportedly stellar!) Whatever the case, stop it. stop it now.

Not that any of this would much worry Gal ‘phwoar’ Gadot. She’s been here before. Remember that time the virginal 500-pound Baywatch-buff complained that her tits weren’t big enough? Seriously, why even bother – it’s not like half of these folks complaining will ever need to worry about how big or small the size of a bosom is, their pause button is the only thing getting close to those.

As a huge supporter of women’s rights, gender equality and getting society to a place it needs to get (sorry, but we’re NOT there yet), can I please just ask that y’all be thankful we have our first “LEAD FEMALE SUPERHERO” on screen in seventeen years and forget that she’s somehow secured a Gillette disposable in the golden age!? It’s time to celebrate a win for women, not a whine for whiskers.

 

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