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Dick Tracy was Framed!

Fingers wiggled in each direction after yesterday’s Oscar kerfuffle when ‘best film’ award went initially to the wrong bloody film “La La Land”.

Most young punks assumed poor Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway were responsible for the blunder – simply because they can order from the seniors menu and don’t dance to Kanye at after parties – while a few pegged Mel ‘the prankster king of West Hollywood’ Gibson the guilty party. By the look on his face, one might even have envisioned Ryan Gosling having something to do with it. But nope, none of the accused were responsible for that envelope not saying “Moonlight”, the real winner of the prize (though to be fair, Beatty and Dunaway should automatically have assumed “La La Land” – and maybe the looks on their faces suggests they did smell a stinky fillet – wouldn’t have taken the ruby slipper; while the film is admirable, and an enjoyable time passer, it’s no “Bugsy” or “Bonnie & Clyde”, right Wazza?) – it was a bunch of snoots in suits who screwed up.

Accounting firm PriceWaterhouseCoopers have issued a statement claiming full responsibility for the top-notch dick move.

We sincerely apologize to “Moonlight,” “La La Land,” Warren Beatty, Faye Dunaway, and Oscar(R) viewers for the error that was made during the award announcement for Best Picture. The presenters had mistakenly been given the wrong category envelope and when discovered, was immediately corrected. We are currently investigating how this could have happened, and deeply regret that this occurred.

We appreciate the grace with which the nominees, the Academy, ABC, and Jimmy Kimmel handled the situation.

I’d like to congratulate Joe Hammer’s Numbers Hut for snagging the accounting gig for Oscars 2018.

On a final note, to every young dweeb and ever eyeball-baiting tabloid that are throwing insults Beatty and Dunaway’s way, whether it’s “Beatty needs glasses”, “Who ARE these two old coots?” or “Learn more about the elder actors in the middle of the Oscar stuff-up” style stories, frak you all – these aren’t nobodies, they’re somebodies – very significant somebodies, and somebodies who deserve the ultimate respect. Many of the films you enjoy today, the genres you prefer, and many of our actors and filmmakers working today would not be here were it not be for the talent and output of Mr Beatty and Ms Dunaway. Get educated, then tweet.

To relive TV’s most embarrassing moment in recent times, check it out below :

Jack Reacher: Never Go Back

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