Caffeinated Clint
The last edition of the year!
Hey my loyal Monkeys and Monkettes. The festive season is upon us and as mine and Princess Lady Monkey’s stay in London comes to an end, she put it to me… no, not like that – but like this; “Hey, where’s the Christmas movie this year?” I was scratching my hairy arms and chest for some considerable time. I had to have an answer. I always have an answer, especially for Lady Monks! I can’t possibly be without one. And a movie one? I was like; “Uh, erm, I.. Eh..” Princess asked if there was a ‘Harry Potter’ flick and I said, ‘no, I think it’s in May or something next year. “You can’t have a Harry Potter movie in May!” Princess blurted. “What about another Narnia movie?” She asked. Hmm, no, that’ll no doubt be next December too. My Lady Monkey became frustrated and somewhat pissed. I dare not have mentioned the fact that a new Rocky movie would be out soon though, or a movie about Diamond smuggling and corruption with Di Caprio and a new trailer for Die Hard 4 will be among them!
Seriously (like I wasn’t already), where are the Christmas or you plain ole ‘Holiday’ folk, where are the Holiday Season movies? Where have they gone? Something has to give and it has to be Tim Allen’s usual holiday appearance. C’mon, even a movie starring Ice Cube would be more fitting at this time. No horror please. No shoot-em-ups. No raw drama. No ‘this would be more suited to the bargain bin at Blockbuster, but we’ll release it anyway, as it has some relatively known cable channel TV person in it and they may say something a one year old might goo goo laugh at or some 50 something year old woman trying to be hip with the kids might coo at because some lame cable channel TV star slips on a load of marbles or something and a scene with snow or a Santa hat is in it somewhere.’ Someone, please, cook up some magic.
Princess, your time in London is coming to an end. You’ve done well here and with me, too! I know you’re scared of flying and I wish I were on the same flight with you back to States-Ville. I’ll see you a few days after and next year will be super fine, okay? I love you Monkey. Yep, I’ve been asked to stay on here in London town to work on a big-time action film… series…. its been a long-time coming. More on that later… maybe. But I’ll be back in Tinseltown before mid-year.
To those still reading, I wish you all a healthy, happy, safe time with those you love. Remember, at office Christmas parties, be careful when photocopying your asses. There are many accidents where certain people’s bottoms have gone right through the top glass and has cut them. Sorry to leave it on a bum note.
So, LA LA land is winding down too, but here’s some tid bits.
I’ve been told John McClane is going to die in “Live Free Die Hard”. Do you really think King B’s most famous role to date is going to be killed off? I’ve read a script where he could be seen as dying, but it was left open for a fifth. This movie? C’mon! It’s B’s pension fund. Is Die Hard a movie or a Business? I was passed a new pic recently. Enjoy. They’ll be trailers of this fourth instalment during certain “Blood Diamond” screenings. I also heard some more “Die Hard” related projects are in the pipeline(s). More in the New Year on those.
This one time, at Bond Camp. So, I hear the next villain of the piece, in “Bond 22”, will center around Eva Green’s beau, who is of Algerian origin. The one who gave her that knotted necklace. I liked elements of the “Casino Royale” movie. Various parts, though, did seem a touch blurry. It seemed a bit long. I wanted Bond to have done over Mads. I liked Munro better than Green. I liked it that he got bloody, but he fell for her farrrr tooooo quickly and why? She wasn’t that nice nor clever. Anyway, Daniel Craig will be filming apparently later next year, with ‘Q’ making an appearance too (Ssshh.. but I’ve heard Ewan Bremmer’s name mentioned).
Timothy Olyphant, who will be seen in “Die Hard 4”, is to replaced Mark Vincent, Vin Diesel rather, as ‘Hitman’. Luc Besson… is he helming the movie or just producing it? Has he retired? C’mon!!
Why is Mr. De Niro teaming with rapper 50 Cent? Sam the man Jackson turned him down, so why not the best actor in the world? Perhaps he sees something in him. Who knows? Well, they’ll be in “Microwave Park” set in New Orleans and has a story about an honest Narc becoming frustrated because of the corrupt cops he has all around him. Hey, that cop-business.
Another De Niro intended cop movie being planned was for the new Mrs. Cruise. I’ve read the Treatment and wont give the title away, but it could be quite gritty and would be a neat move for the former Ms. Holmes to make. I’ll delve more into this at another time.
“In The Valley of Elah” will star Charlize Theron, Tommy Lee Jones and now Susan Sarandon has joined the pic about pappy Lee Jones in search of his soldier boy son, who went missing after a stint in Iraq. Jones’ character is also a former soldier man and Sarandon is the wifey. No word on who the missing guy is.
Eddie Murphy will rock in 2007 / 2008.
Jessica ‘almost in Die Hard 4’ Simpson is to title a movie called “Blonde Ambition”. No, not a re-working of a Madonna concert of yester-year, but a “Working Girl” type flick.
Oscar talk for Will Smith? Seen the trailer? Looks like a nice movie. Will does no wrong for me.
On the up: Eddie Murphy, Timothy Olyphant, Eric Bana, Jessica Simpson, Natalie Imbruglia, Amy Redford, Posh Spice, Paul Verhoeven. Steven Seagal. Will Smith. Erika Eleniak, Pamela Anderson. Rachel McAdams, Robert Downey Jr, Mel Gibson.
Standing Still: Vinnie Jones, Demi Moore, Tony Scott, Denzel Washington.
