K.T Simpson
Oh dear. Man Down indeed. News over the weekend was that Shia LaBeouf’s flick “Man Down” sold a single ticket in its UK opening, however I can now confirm that things are looking up, with a further 2 tickets sold. That gives it a gross earning in its opening weekend at $26. I’ve paid more for a decent pub feed. And I tell you, I’d happily live with the memories of that eggplant parma for the rest of my life before I go and see trainwreck LaBeouf in action.
But don’t count those chickens yet, just as things were starting to get better for LaBeouf, news this morning is that he’s gone on another expletive-ridden rampage at a bowling alley, of all places. I feel ya, Shia, getting a split totally SUCKS. Of course TMZ have the exclusive video, in which the has-been loses it over some french fries. The best part is, he stormed from the venue in a vile, french-fry fueled rage before having to return, tail between his legs, to return the bowling shoes he’d forgotten to remove. To be honest Shia, you should’ve just rolled with it. I’m sure your 3 fans can pool some money together to buy you some new kicks.
Not the first time Shia has been filmed having a meltdown, or the first time he’s come face to face with the law. He’s been kicked out of bars, crashed cars, plagarised, trespassed and just overall been a little bit of a pain in the proverbial. But let’s not forget his prestegious award nominations! Two nominations in 2011 for his work in Transformers. That is, the Golden Raspberry Award for “Worst Screen Couple” and “Worst Ensemble”. These nominations follow the 2009 nomination for the “Worst Screen Couple”, also in another Transformers movie with Megan Fox. Don’t worry Shia, you didn’t win, there’s still a chance at learning how to interact effectively with the ladies. And just anyone else, for that matter.
Look to be fair, “Man Down” was only released in 1 UK cinema, and performed significantly better in US cinemas, grossing $454,490 domestically. Which is still considered a flop, but when you do the math, that’s approximately 227,245 packets of french fries, or 5,682 pairs of converse sneakers. Having not seen the film myself, I won’t comment on its quality, but let’s just say it’s currently got 14% on Rotten Tomatoes. One has to feel a little sorry for the other people involved with this movie. But then again, they accepted a role in a Shia LaBeouf movie so really that one’s on them.
Don’t sweat it Shia, there’s 14 more Transformers movies still to come, I’m sure you can get onboard that somehow.
