Caffeinated Clint
Plays Billy the Kid in the game cum film
Steve Croft from ‘Virtual Chainsaw’ had the chance to speak to actor Zack Ward – who stars in the forthcoming “Postal”; “BloodRayne 2” and most notably, “The Transformers”. He was kind enough to transcribe the interview for Moviehole.
By Steve Croft
Who IS Zack Ward I hear you ask? Well here’s who he is: Did you see “TITUS”, the tv sitcom? He’s the ginger haired brother of Titus. Have you heard of ‘Postal’? He plays ‘The Dude’. Heard of ‘Bloodrayne 2’? He’s Billy the Kid. Heard of ‘Deadwood’? We won’t say who he is in that, the stories too funny as is.
Anyhow, chances are you’ve seen him in something already. And this year you’re going to see him in something MASSIVE. You’re going to see Zack in Michael Bay’s ‘TRANSFORMERS’.
Steve : Titus always struck me as one of those shows where I didn’t care if it was a repeat, I’d watch it over and over again.
Zack : Yeah, some of those episodes were REALLY goddamn good!
Steve : Oh yeah and I loved those moments where you’d be inside Titus’s head, and he’d break the wall talking to the audience.
Zack : Yeah, we called it the Neutral Space.
Steve : Yeah for some reason I always wanted to see you or someone else crash through the door, I dunno, fighting someone or something.
Zack : The only other people who got to be in the neutral space were Stacey Keach and Cynthia. There was an episode where Titus and I, Dave and Tommy, we went off on a Bachelor party and Cynthia was freaking out over what would happen. And then there was an episode, where after the drag racing and the car flipped like 8 times.
Steve : Is that the one where he’s in the coma?
Zack : Yeah and I’m on him smacking the hell out of him!
Steve : *laughs*
Zack : Um, Stacey Keach was in the neutral space speaking to the camera, but Tommy and I didn’t get to do it. We were meant to the following year but the following year never came.
Steve : I was watching ‘Deadwood’, and it amazes me that something like Titus gets cancelled, ‘Deadwood’ gets cancelled, Im thanking god the ‘Shields’ got what, a full 7 seasons? But something like ‘Charmed’, runs for like ten *bleep* years!?
Zack : *laughs* Dude I was ON Charmed and I GODDAMN HATE that show.
Steve : Yeah well, I’m sorry man I know you were on that show but I was waiting for your response and..
Zack : No no no, dude don’t apologise to me, mother*ahem* had to make money, I need to pay my rent and that’s why I was on that show.
Steve : Screw it the interviews started *laughs* its started, keep going.
Zack : Yeah, hell yeah, I did charmed and that’s the stupidest dialogue, the worst story, I was working with Charisma Carpenter, and which is basically like if you wanna jack off to her, or on her. fine go ahead but it’s basically like acting with a Sears catalogue, with goddamn like, dialogue from a *bleep*ing Archie comic. some of the worst you will ever freakin see.
Steve : *laughs*
Zack : And yet it keeps on going!!! It doesn’t get cancelled! You know what it reminds me of like every time I drive own the street, and everyone else does a U Turn, they get away with it. then I try and get cops straight up my ass! I’m on Titus, it gets cancelled, I’m on Deadwood, it gets cancelled, am I I cursed, am I like the Golden Albatross with red hair and freckles? But goddamn CHARMED should go on for ten more damn years!
Steve : You’ve been in a couple of movies I absolutely hated, in fact one of them I had to turn off after 15 minutes due to the goddamn stupidity of it.
Zack : What one was that dude?
Steve : Resident Evil Apocalypse.
Zack : OH MY GOD RIGHT! WHAT A HORRIBLE MOVIE!
Steve : Even you hated it!?
Zack : Yep. Oh dude, its like, I gotta say I liked Aliens Versus Predator, I thought it was fun, I thought it was what you read the comics for, it was cool. That’s MY opinion. I like the first Resident Evil, I thought it was goddamn great.
Steve : Yeah so did I. Lots of fun.
Zack : Yeah and the second one, they totally punted man. it was like ok, and now they made a third one!?
Steve : Ugh yeah.
Zack : Its like uh, Res. Evil after the apocalypse and in my opinion, the best thing about Resident Evil Apocalypse, was that I met my producing partner on it, Ben Moody. Ben created a band called Evanesence, he wrote their music, he wrote the songs, yeah, that’s my producing partner, he’s a guy who.
Steve : No way!? Hang on hang on.
Zack : He’s a 2 time Grammy award winning 25 year old wonder king with a brain like Beethoven.
Steve : So Evanesence is a created band like Backstreet Boys or something.
Zack : No, no no, when I say he created it, Ben Moody is a musical freaking prodigy, he started writing music when he was like 7 years old, put the band together, hired and fired people, wrote all the music, and then they created their album Evanesence, and their first songs Wake me Up inside, and My Immortal on Daredevil, and My Immortal is still the #1 selling sheet music in the world four years running.
Steve : Yeah it’s a good song actually, actually I’ll go back on something, I like the original CD version, not the Top 40 version with the whole Rock and Roll guitar thing at the end.
Zack : Well, I’ll tell him and I’m sure he’ll cry a whirlwind, yeah I’m sure he’ll wipe his nose with MONEY. ‘Dude there’s a guy in Australia who didn’t like the remake!’ ‘Oh no, I lost the one guy in Australia demographic!!!’
Steve : Ok, I want your honest impressions of ‘Postal’ and ‘Bloodrayne 2’.
Zack : Um Bloodrayne 2.
Steve : ‘Postal’, I’ve got the feeling Boll is gonna get lynched.
Zack : Yeeeeah, I disagree man, see I think you know, I mean content wise theres only a couple of comments in the ntire thing where I look at it and think ‘You know that’s not funny, its just tacky!’ The problem with German people, their cultural sense of humor is not like ours. Especially when it translates, I mean maybe in german it’s a REALLY fine joke, but when it translates its like ‘YAH! YOU EAT POOP AND I FART IN YOUR MOUTH HAHAHAHAH!’ and you’re left standing there looking at them going ‘Are you a retard? What the hell did you just say!?’
Steve : Yeah well, theres the bit where you have the Osama Bin Laden clips where hes saying “I’m Osama Bin Laden and I’m an alcoholic!”
Zack : That’s funny because he’s a muslim and they’re not allowed to drink alcohol, so that’s funny.
Steve : No, no, I was just watching it and going ‘Oh ok’, it didn’t strike me as retarded, but the second one amused me more, I think I just totally skipped over the fact they cant drink alcohol. The second one had me smirking though, I wouldn’t say laughing out loud, but smirking yeah.
Zack : And that’s the weird thing. Uwe? Uwe has a sense of humor, but when it comes to editing and shooting it? I did Titus for three years, there is an ART form to doing comedy. You can do single camera comedy, or you can do four camera comedy. But the reality is, once it comes down to the editor, if he’s not funny, everything you shot, it’s a waste of time. That’s where the actors process, you kinda put your hands in the air and say ‘Well I hope this doesn’t suck!’
Steve : I’m trying to remember who said it, someone said you can have all the money you want, you can have all the effects you want, but there is nothing harder, than getting the exact timing right on good comedy.
Zack : Yeah, if you aint got it, you don’t got it. Im waiting to see the final cut of Postal, to see if its as funny as the moments that we shot, it might not be, and that’s gonna be a situation where, I told Uwe, I mean I really like Uwe Boll, he’s a good guy, a good friend and I enjoyed working with him, but I told him, ‘If Postals not funny, I’m gonna punch you in the face. Publicly.’
Steve : *laughs*
Zack : I’m a good damn actor, I’ve been doing it for 27 years, I don’t waste my time, I don’t waste the audiences time Uwe Boll is known as a bad director, who does bad movies with crap actors. And usually these crap actors are paid a lot of money cause theyre already big names, look at Bloodrayne, and all the crappy actors in that. They get paid a lot of cash cause theyre already a big name. I’m not a big name, I’m a character actor, I go to work every day to get a job, to pay my bills, to do my stuff, so I can keep on following my dream, which is to do this well. Uwe Boll let me star in Postal. That’s a big move for me. To star in a 20 million dollar movie? That’s a big thing. And I committed everything to it.
Steve : I’ll say one thing, that the poster with you on it, with the gun, that looks pretty cool.
Zack : Hey you should see me naked.
Steve : *laughs*
Zack : I said to Uwe, “I haven’t seen the final cut, but here’s some notes on what we need to do, if I don’t like it, I’ll punch you in the face.” and he was like “Yeah ok zis is good.” So, if Postal comes out crap, you can expect to see another boxing match a couple of months later, with me getting revenge for fucking over my name, cause it’s my face all over that thing.
Steve : I was very vocal about my opinion on that boxing match. Whilst it was very funny, ah, yeah, it was definitely a case of being, how would I put this, he should’ve picked people more inline with what he is. He’s a pretty good boxer reputedly. But ah, I did make the offer, cause I’ve done some boxing before, but he turned me down. *laughs*
Zack : *laughs* I think probably he turned you down too cause he didn’t want to fly you in from Australia buddy.
Steve : Well, theres also the fact, Uwe is what, 80 kilos? Im around 105.
Zack : I would know what that is in American speak.
Steve : Ok ok ok let me put it this way, Im not a fatass, Im well built, about. what 2.2 pounds to a kilo? So…..um… 220 pounds or thereabouts?
Zack : Oh yeah, yeah you woulda *laughs a lot* that woulda been good, that woulda been good.
Steve : If we can see a fight between you and Uwe, that’d be cool, I’d pay to see it. *laughs*
Zack : I’m hoping that doesn’t happen. I’m hoping I see Postal and I’m happy with it.
THERE’S MORE…. CHECK OUT THE WHOLE INTERVIEW AT VIRTUAL CHAINSAW
– Steve Croft
