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Our resident Jaws fan reviews The Meg!

Mike Smith gets a “little testy” with the Jason Statham movie

Mike Smith

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If you’ve learned anything about me over the years, you know that “Jaws” is my favorite film. That being said, every time a new shark themed film shows up (“Deep Blue Sea,” “Open Water,” “The Shallows,” etc) I have to put my blinders on and do my best not to compare the film to “Jaws.” However, when the film in question steals whole sequences from the film, I may bet a little testy.

We meet Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham) as he and his rescue team are trying to save the crew of a submerged vessel. However, just as you think they’re all going to survive, they are attacked by “something,” causing Taylor to leave behind a couple teammates, who inevitably die. Fade to black and jump ahead a few years.

Welcome to the bottom of the ocean, inside the Mariana Trench. A bizarre philanthropist (Wilson) has financed an expedition to the trench with the purpose of trying to go deeper. The idea is that it’s so cold at the bottom of the ocean that maybe you’re not on the ocean’s floor. Maybe you’re just blocked. Crazy guy arrives at his sea platform, which is full of scientists and a cute Chinese family (older father, daughter and granddaughter). The mission is a success, but while down below their sub is attacked by “something.” Only one person can help them…someone whose life was changed by “something.” But what?

With a few good special effects shot and a cast that’s trying way too hard, “The Meg” is passable entertainment. A giant shark that can actually eat people whole is kind of cool, though the filmmakers can’t seem to decide on how big it is. When it’s out to sea it’s HUGE, knocking over boats and gobbling up people like cocktail peanuts. But when it comes close to shore, where hundreds of people are bathing, it easily swims by, not one person noticing the 60 foot monster that just passed by.

Director Jon Turtletaub has directed four films since 2004, three of them starring Nicolas Cage, the master of over-emoting. He would have made a fine substitute to Statham, who has proven himself in other films. The slow parts between shark appearances start to add up, and the film feels every bit of its almost 2-hour run time.

To steal (and paraphrase) from Woody Allen in “Annie Hall,” a film is like a shark. It has to keep on moving or it will die. And what we’re dealing with here…is a dead shark.

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Sonic going back to the workshop; moves to 2020

Paramount to spend more time perfecting the title character’s look

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Coming through on it’s promise to spend more time perfecting the title character’s look, Paramount has delayed the “Sonic the Hedgehog” movie until 2020.

After the release of the recent trailer, fans of the SEGA-game freaked on Twitter over the blue animal’s human teeth, calling them “creepy” and “nightmarish.” The filmmakers went into immediate damage control, promising punters they’ll fix the look.

The pic, starring Jim Carrey, is now moving from its November 8 release to February 14, 2020 next year so the blue guy looks better for y’all.

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Rocky 7!?

Sylvester Stallone says he has a “great idea” for another “Rocky” film

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While we’ll unlikely see Creed belting his glove again, Sylvester Stallone says Rocky Balboa isn’t out.

The actor  made the revelation today at the Cannes film festival, where his long career and latest ‘Rambo’ film are under the Croisette’s spotlight.

While ‘Sly’ hints that his participation in the “Creed” franchise might be two and out, the 72-year-old says a seventh “Rocky” film could be on the cards.

“I have a great idea for Rocky. He finds this fella who’s in the country illegally and it becomes a whole thing. It would be really phenomenal, really different”.

“It’s like a magician,” he continued. “Once you’ve seen how he does the tricks you’re not impressed any more. It’s the same thing with Rocky. You’ve seen everything, so you’re like, ‘How can it be different?’ That would be different. When you take him and throw him out of the country and he’s in another world. It could work.” he said.

Stallone didn’t say whether it’d be Balboa, who we last saw in 2018’s “Creed II”, training the immigrant.

The actor had intended for 2006’s “Rocky Balboa” to be the character’s swansong but returned to the role when the idea for the “Creed” films were presented to him.

Stallone was at Cannes to attend a a 4K restoration screening of his groundbreaking actioner “First Blood” and promote its fourth sequel “Last Blood”, which sees the long-suffering vet going up against cartels in Mexico.

“He goes out there and bad things happen,” Stallone said. “There’s going to be some serious vengeance in this movie. A lot of people are going to get killed.”

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ICYMI : Christopher Nolan’s new film gets title, full cast

The time-traveling international spy movie stars Robert Pattinson, among others

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Warner Bros have announced the title and cast of Christopher Nolan’s highly-anticipated new film, due July 17, 2020.
“Tenet”, which has just gone before the cameras, is said to be an action epic that combines the always entertaining elements of international spy missions and time travel.  The man with the megaphone is keeping a tight lid on the plot.
The cast, which includes many Nolan-staples, is headed by John David Washington and also stars Robert Pattinson, Elizabeth Debicki, Dimple Kapadia, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Clémence Poésy, with Michael Caine and Kenneth Branagh.
Nolan is shooting in the beautiful IMAX format with some 70mm thrown in for good measure.

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