Caffeinated Clint
Having started a new job this week, and with more supplementary responsibilities than I care to list, I’ve been as swamped as the Dagobah system. Therefore, I’ve totally missed a few stories – well, I didn’t miss them, I just couldn’t keep my eyes open long enough to hit the ibook at the end of the day. Luckily for me, most of the stories I’ve missed have been about remakes (when aren’t they!?) so I can steamroll most of them together. So here we go…
The Blair Witch Remake
A couple of casting sites – I saw it on the one I use, too – have listed something called “The Blair Witch Remake”. Caught me by surprise, too! Here’s the rundown : ”The film is about three experienced filmmakers who set out to shoot a documentary about a local legend. Breakdown– Dennis Hither: 22-38, an experienced filmmaker. Lead; Michael Adams: 22-44. Supporting; Donald Walker: 22-38, an experienced filmmaker; Allison James: 21-35, Michael’s girlfriend; Various Roles: Children aged 3-10 & Adult, male and female, 21+, inhabitants of Cuddington town. Note: Producers are seeking actors of Canadian or European origin who can speak and understand English.” Can only imagine this is a) not what it seems or, b) is what it seems, and will be forced to undergone severe changes once Lionsgate finds out. The next time we see ‘The Blair Witch’ again, she’ll likely be front and center for Dan Sanchez’s and Ed Myrick’s ‘official’ sequel to their 1999 hit – which is said to be inching forward.
The Crow remake
One of my pals is a producer on this one, and though he’s been tight-lipped on details (someone’s got a gun to his head) he’s stressed in the past that this won’t be your typical remake – for instance, they’re not going to redo the Eric Draven (the character Brandon Lee played in the original) story again. Thank effin’ god! Well, they’re now casting the film, according to producer Ryan Kavanaugh, who told io9 that they’ll likely be going for a big star- or someone who will be. “It will be an actor you’ve heard of, yes. We’re not ruling anything out. We’re looking at both, with the very well known and the ‘very talented but they may not be quite there yet.” No word on whether Jason Statham, who’d mentioned in a few interviews he’d be keen to don the mascara and get around with a bird – I think he was referring to The Crow? – is in the mix.
The Howling Remake
Again, not so much a remake as it’ll be a reboot of the franchise – and to say this franchise is in dire need of a polish is a gross understatement. Joe Nimziki will write and direct “The Howling Reborn”, according to Bloody Disgusting. The flick – which, I’m gonna go out on a wing and guess will revolve around… wait for it… werewolves – lenses in February for a Halloween 2010 release. Assuming my old friend Dee Wallace (star of the original “Howling”) will be called up to cameo.
Maniac Cop/Maniac Remake
Though there’s one in the works, original “Maniac Cop” director William Lustig tells Bloody Disgusting he won’t be involved in the remake. He ain’t interested. He has cereal to eat; lawns to mow. “We’re not gonna be involved, but we’ll collect a check. Actually, on the remake of ‘Maniac’, it’s gonna say produced by William Lustig, but I’m going to have the least amount of involvement as a producer on the movie.” Nothing like free money, Bill!
High School Musical Remake
An Asian version of the Zac Efron-Disney cash-cow is in the works, according to The Guardian. Disney will be making the flick, said to be inspired by the original film rather than a Xerox of it, with it’s Chinese partners. It will focus on an unlikely couple from seemingly opposite school cliques – a basketball jock and a science nerd – brought together in an entirely chaste romance by their love of singing. I’ll be sleeping…
The Orphanage Remake
Producer Larry Fessenden has left the director’s chair on this remake – and not because he knows he doesn’t have right getting behind the camera, and should stay behind his mother-hopping desk with his beancounter and pile of LOI’s. Fessenden, producer of such flicks as “The House of the Devil” and “The Last Winter”, tells Arrow in the Head that he butted heads with the powers-that-be over casting, so walked. “I got into a casting miasma and that’s where the thing is; I think they’re gonna do it another way, actually. So I think I’m out of it. Hopefully they’ll still use my script, but I’m not sure I’m directing it anymore.”
