Caffeinated Clint
Thirty years ago, there was no Coronavirus, no widespread theater closures and no streaming platforms. There was the theater, with it’s fresh, buttery popcorn, cushy seats, and immense screen, and boy, did we take it for granted.
Just for a moment, let’s pretend to be back in April of 1990 – looking forward to seeing some of the films hitting theaters that month.
I remember all the girls were soaked with anticipation for the release of “Cry Baby”, because it featured new It-Boy Johnny Depp (the star of TV’s “21 Jump Street”). Alec Baldwin, who was already atop of the charts with “The Hunt for Red October”, had another cool looking flick coming out (“Miami Blues”), and Steven Seagal had another surefit hit (“Marked for Death”) coming up.
I worked at a drive-in theater when “Wild Orchid” hit screens at the end of April. The saucy offering – known for it’s non-simulated sex scenes between Mickey Rourke and Care Otis – was garbage of the slickest kind but it sure did get teens’ blood racing. Can’t say it did much for Rourke or Otis’s careers though.
Probably the best offering of April, 1990 was the comedy “I Love You to Death”, a very funny Kevin Kline-vehicle from Lawrence Kasdan about a womanizer who gets his comeuppance. Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix were among those who had supporting tuns in the laffer.
What are you guys going to get a ticket for?
CLASS OF 1999
Opens : April 1, 1990
Likely to be heard upon exiting the theater : “Not as good as the one with Alex P.Keaton in it..”
CRY BABY
Opens : April 6, 1990
Likely to be heard upon exiting the theater : “Oh that Johnny is just soooo dreamy!”
I LOVE YOU TO DEATH
Opens : April 6, 1990
Likely to be heard upon exiting the theater : “Kevin Kline will get another Oscar!”
THE FIRST POWER
Opens : April 6, 1990
Likely to be heard upon exiting the theater : “I need to get a new change of underwear.. quick!”
CRAZY PEOPLE
Opens : April 11, 1990
Likely to be heard upon exiting the theater : “Well, it was better than Arthur 2, I guess?”
THE GOD’S MUST BE CRAZY II
Opens : April 13, 1990
Likely to be heard upon exiting the theater : “I doubt there will be a third one…”
VITAL SIGNS
Opens : April 13, 1990
Likely to be heard upon exiting the theater : “One day, films like that will probably just go straight to VHS”
https://youtu.be/XFWMO-R4q3A
MARKED FOR DEATH
Opens : April 18, 1990
Likely to be heard upon exiting the theater : “Steven Seagal is the new Clint Eastwood. He can do no wrong!”
MIAMI BLUES
Opens : April 20, 1990
Likely to be heard upon exiting the theater : “He’ll never lose his good looks that guy!”
THE GUARDIAN
Opens : April 27, 1990
Likely to be heard upon exiting the theater : “WTF!? the same guy directed THE EXORCIST!?”
Q&A
Opens : April 27, 1990
Likely to be heard upon exiting the theater : “Probably Dad would like that one..”
WILD ORCHID
Opens : April 27, 1990
Likely to be heard upon exiting the theater : “I think there were Nine-and-a-half minutes of good film in there..”
