Mike Smith
The tale is told of the Conquistadors that sailed down the vast and dangerous river in search of the petals of a certain plant. The petals, called “The Tears of the Moon” were said to cure any ailment and reverse any curse. But of course, it’s just an old tale. Right?
Full of fun, with another winning performance by Dwayne Johnson – I think if he met me he and I would be best pals immediately – “Jungle Cruise” is the latest Disney attraction to become a feature film and, I must say, it’s pretty darn entertaining.
We are introduced to the Houghton siblings – brother MacGregor (Jack Whitehall) is every bit the prim and proper Brit he seems to be while his sister, Lily (Blunt) is the adventurer in the family, having spent a good portion of her adult life searching for the mystical petals. While looking for a boat to take them down river they meet Frank (Johnson) who is currently doing his best to avoid Nilo (Giamatti), the local bad guy. If you’ve seen “Roadhouse” think of him as the jungle version of Brad Wesley. A deal is made and the threesome head into the great unknown.
On the plus side, “Jungle Cruise” makes great use of CGI, creating a jungle, and all of its inhabitants, with amazing realism. Tigers. Spiders. Monkeys. You name it, they’re there and they look amazingly real. The cast is in great form, with Johnson happily spouting puns (we call them “dad jokes” today) whenever he gets the chance. Also well cast is Jesse Plemons, whose character, a former German army officer, is as obsessed with the petals as Lily is. He’s a little over the top, but in a good way.
My only major problem with the film is that it seemed about 30 minutes too long. You can only battle zombie pirates so long before it gets boring. If I wanted a three hour tour I’d wait for “Gilligan’s Island – the Movie,” which I’m sure will be in theatres soon!
